Beliz Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I am 33 & have been dating a 48yr old man for 1.5yrs. He's been divorced for 7yrs & has a 13yr old child from his previous marriage which lasted about 6yrs. His ex-wife chooses not to work. He supports her and the child 100%. He doesn't have a good relationship with his ex and he generally tries to avoid dealing with her. As long as her financial needs are met, there is peace. The relationship with his child is not good either and for as long as I've known my bf, he's been desperately trying to win this kid's affection. He's mentioned to me that sometimes, he feels unloved & that he's only good for his wallet. In my opinion, he's a great dad but he also confessed that because of his previous marriage issues, he wasn't as good a dad until 8 years ago; which probably explains the kid's attitude. When I first met him, even before we got serious, he expressed that he was looking to settle down and have more children. He used to off-handedly talk about me meeting his kid but 18 months later, it hasn't happened. The kid is with him on Saturday, my day is Sunday. I recently asked him if he didn't think it was unusual that I still haven't met the most important person in his life (I've met the rest of his family-siblings & parents). He admitted that he hasn't made it a priority & also went on to say that because he's still struggling to have a good relationship with his child, he doesn't think the timing is right yet. In a nutshell, he's afraid of rocking the boat. Over the last couple of months, I've also expressed my frustration regarding our part-time relationship but all he says is that he's waiting for God to take care of his 'unresolved issues'. He also says he's prayed to God for direction regarding our relationship but God has been silent. I am a Christian too and I respect this. Whichever way it turns out, I am cool with it.....time heals all wounds, I believe. To add fuel to this flaming mix, we just learned that I am pregnant (which makes both of us struggling Christians, which probably explains why God has been silent - I didn't say that out loud). He's more than thrilled that I am pregnant. I am happy but more than ever, I am questioning if this man and I will EVER have a stable future together. Deep down, I know I would never give up my life to move in with him unless we were married. As things stand today, I would not marry him because he indeed has unresolved issues. It also bothers me that he continues to support his ex who is a qualified computer programmer with earning potential. Once again, he dare not rock the boat by asking her to get a job. Soooo..... should I start planning to be a single mother? My plan is to breakup with him coz what's the point of being in this pseudo-relationship? I know it won't be easy being a single mom but to me, half a relationship is more painful than being single. Any thoughts, advice will be appreciated. PS: I keep wondering... how can be so happy that I am pregnant when we are in this kind of relationship? Is that all he ever wanted?
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