My wrecked world, sad but true

[mywreckedworld54]

Hello everyone, I just thought I would share my story of how she wrecked my world with all of you so I could get an unbiased opinion. By that I mean all of you are strangers, and I wanted someone else besides friends and family to tell me what they thought of what I believe to be my unique situation. This all started the end of March when spring break started for the university I go to. We had got home from taking her sister to the doctor and she said we needed to talk. I was like ok, what’s up? She said I think we need to have a “break” for a while to see what we really wanted. At first I was like ok, that would probably be good for the both of us. We had never really fought at all throughout the 2 years we had been together, only maybe once every month about something petty and it was resolved very quickly. So I said ok I will go home for a few days (my home is about 200 miles away from where the university is) and we will figure out what we both want. So I went home and stayed busy doing things the entire time and also had time to think about her and me. I did have time enough to discover she in every way was the one for me, and that I did not want to be with anyone else. So I wrote her a message on FB and basically explaining in detail what I said in the previous line. She wrote me back basically saying the same thing right back to me that she loved me and she wanted to be with me forever. The next day she also called sobbing and said she loved me so much and wanted me to come home and for us to work things out. I said ok, I will leave tomorrow and we can be together. So I packed my stuff, and headed back to where I live. I got home and I was like ok let’s talk and we both sat down and she says and I quote “I am sorry we can’t ever be together again, and I went out on a date last night with someone”. I was basically like WTF just happened, you said on FB and on the phone you wanted to be with me and now you just switch it?! She was like yes, and I need you to move your stuff out, and we cannot talk again. So I was shocked and didn’t have anything to say at that point, so I left and decided to go do some thinking. I went to a spot that is serene to me and thought really hard. I wanted to be with her forever, end of story, period. I got back at midnight and she wasn’t there, but she showed up about an hour later. She was crying her eyes out telling me she loved me but we couldn’t be together (my guess is she was drunk). So for about 3 days I sat there. I didn’t move, eat, sleep, drink, I just took in air and that is all. In the mean time she had gone to her grandparents for those 3 days. She came back and I was just sitting there sort of lifeless, and she was hugging me and telling me how much she loved me and how she hated seeing me this way. So I figured I don’t want to stay in our house alone, so I moved into my friends house, which were BTW great I only gave them 2 day’s notice before I moved in. So a few days go by without us talking at all. Then I start getting calls and text messages from her saying she loved me and missed me. I would be like great, until the next day, when her story had changed and she decided she hated me, I needed to come get my stuff out right now, and she never wanted to see me again, hear from me in any way shape or for. This torturous hell continued for about 2 months. Then I blocked her off completely for about 2 weeks. I also told her before that if she was with someone or seeing someone regardless of who it is please tell me and she said she promised she would. So I found out through one of her friends that she had been seeing someone else, and I also saw pictures of her with him on FB. So I told her we needed to talk and we met at a coffee shop. She started to deny everything, and when I say everything I mean all of it. That she ever was seeing anyone, that she would tell me things and change them, that she even said she loved me, that we even ever talked about marriage or kids, all of it. I was deeply hurt in every way possible. This is where the story gets grim. I went home, and went to bed, woke up the next day and felt like I hadn’t got one wink of sleep. So I decided I was going to off myself. I wrote my roommates a letter and her letter also and attached it to my dog and took him and put him in her yard. Then I went up in the mountains and sat there thinking about it and everything else. Then a sheriff showed up and took and said we have to go to the hospital buddy, I am obligated to do my job and protect you. I was like ok, but how on earth did you know I was up here. Come to find out she had called my mom, my dad, my sister and everyone who knew me, and also the police scream crying and telling them she loved me so much and I was going to kill myself. I had written in the letter a small clue as to where I would be and they sent law enforcement there. So I went to the hospital, they got a urine sample, and drew blood and found no alcohol or drugs just like I said they wouldn’t. Then a counselor referred me to a psychologist. I talked to my EX gf on the way home after that and she acted like she did not give a **** what so ever. I have been going to therapy for the last month and a half or so, but it has barely been working at all. I know I am still depressed, and I miss her every day and love her very much, and I look at her pictures all the time. I saw her last Saturday at a restaurant with another guy and it felt like my heart was imploding. I wanted to burst out into tears at that moment. She looked at me like she was frightened and scared to death of me. It all burns, and it has wrecked my world.

[sleepykitten]

Oh my!! My heart really really feels for you, it sounds like you have been through emotional hell. Its good youre having therapy, but you need i think to have no contact with this girl at all, block her face book profile, dont text or e mail, you need to just be away from her, the longer you keep seeing her its not going to help you. She sounds a nightmare! She's lied, messed you around, messed with your head, no wonder youre a mess. YOU have to take control now, you have to do whats right for you and thats not looking to her to make it better. It hurts like hell now but you will come through it. this forum has been a lifesaver for me, use it, post on here, and dont contact her!! Good luck x

[Chi townD]

Okay, first thing...paragraphs; makes it easier to read. Second, nothing is worth hurting yourself over and especially a girl. You need to continue with counciling and you need to have COMPLETE NO CONTACT with this girl. Change your phone number, disconnect your Facebook account and change your e-mail address. She doesn't love you, and she could care less about you...sorry to be blunt, but you don't cry over a guy and tells you she loves you, then goes out on dates the next! That's just being cruel!

 

You need to heal from this, it's gonna take some time, but in the future, you'll find yourself thinking about her less and less until she's a non-issue in your life.