I Love You's

[jordancm17]

My bf and I have been together about a year and a half now and we're both 26 years old. I am the first girl that he has ever loved and when growing up in his family, they didn't say I love you that often so he is not familiar with the words. But for me, I have grown up saying those words everytime I got off the phone or left my parents. So it is something that I am use to saying and something I enjoy saying. However, since I know how he is about not being use to saying it or being uncomfortable with saying it...I won't say it as much. But when I do feel "in the moment" and want to say it...I do...and sometimes his response is "thank you sweetie" and he gets frustrated when I ask him to say it back and when I tell him that it hurts my feelings when he doesn't. His response is that he thinks that I am just looking for reassurance and that my insecurities are showing if he weren't to say it back and I told him that its becuase I enjoy hearing it and it makes me feel good too. And he tells me "You know I love you...I've told you that and I show you all the time" (Which he does) And then he asks, "So why do you constantly need that reassurance?"

But I tell him all the time...that I don't need the reassurance...its just nice to hear it back when you say it to someone. Otherwise it makes me feel stupid or as if I am talking to a brick wall. Why does it seem to be such a battle with him? Why can't he just say it because he knows that he already loves me...I don't doubt that...so why not just say it back because you knwo that it makes ME happy?!? I just don't understand why I am having to battle this out with him. It hurts my feelings. I understand that some people haven't grown up with the words I LOVE YOU...Hence the reason why I don't say it that often to him. However, if I had it MY WAY...I would say it ALL THE TIME because I DO mean it and I DO enjoy saying it and voicing to him how I feel. Yes...I know "I love you" are just words...but they mean something to me. Shouldn't that be enough? Isn't there some sort of compromise? I don't expect him to say it first or anything...but I would like it if he would respond when I SAY IT. Instead..."thanks sweetie."

I am just REALLY confused on this whole topic. I don't know if I am just making this out to be a big deal or something...or if I make a valid point to how I truly feel about it. I just need some advice about this please. I will say that he does show me in EVERY way... that he loves me. He is always wanting to be together and is always calling me and we have many things in common. I've tried talking to him a little bit about it...and he would get frustrated and would accuse me of needing reassurance which really bothered him but I told him it wasn't true. Please help me. Do you think I am making too much of a big deal about this or do you think I should ask him again and tell him how I feel about it all? I don't know...please help. I just don't want to be a nagging girlfriend, but I also don't want to ignore my true feelings. But I still don't know whether or not I am making a big deal of it all. Please HELP ME. Thank you very much.