com Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) am i waiting for nothing? my bf and i met online and we were friends, then became lovers. he visited me last year, and we are on our 3rd year in relationship. communication isnt hard since i am online, and i have voip. sometimes though i dont like it when he goes out w/ his friends, he doesnt text me at all. sometimes, its like, it could go for 2 days i dont know where he is or what happened. i find myself callign him instead of the other way around. half the time i call him, or look for him. at some point i think he doesnt want to do what i tell him, or what i request him to do. i ask nicely, but he doesnt do it. i kept thinking to myself, maybe hes just lazy. he was the one who told me that he'd get me a visa, so we can be together. this isnt even a big deal for me, several times ive told him to live with me instead, where i am. but he says no. he says hes got a job, a car and his firends and family are in the u.s. so he isnt moving. so ok with that too fine..i give in. and now i have graduated college last year, i cant take on any jobs that are decent because they want me to sign a 2-3 year contract. my bf tells me he is getting right on top of processing the papers but its like, hes not. i sent him my documents and i had to have him send it back to me..cause he doesnt know how to do it. so ok fine, i'll do it. however there are a couple of stuff he needs to do, on his own. and ive been waiting to receive it back for almsot 3months now. i feel he is postponing it or purposely putting it off, and it hurts. i asked him nice, then i asked him angrily, cause i lsot my patience. then he goes to tell me that why am i forcing him to be married fast, like why i was hurrying it. and i explained to him, like if he wants to have kids we both need to have stable income, etc. i just want to start already, not with kids, but seeing how my life/future family goes. and he tells me, it doesnt matter if we have kids or not..which is new, he always tells me he wants kids. he tells me he wants kids, then he tells me he wants to be financially secure first before having kids..i dont know anymore. women only go up to a certain age to have kids, i dont have forever to try and give him everything he wants. i havent spoken to him for 4 days now, i am avoiding him. i feel like..i have wasted so much time already. i am crying as i write this..just really feels like the relationship is going nowhere. and i can no longer ask him about the papers, cause i will be accused of having an ulterior motive... i really dont know what will happen and i am sort of afraid, to lose him, but at the same time its really doesnt seem to be going anywhere. like all of a sudden he suspects me when i ask about it. mind you, i dont even go out (clubbing, party), just a coffee w/ a girl pal or brunch with old classmates. i havent spoken or been in the same group with a male for almost 2 years. there is no reason to suspect me. and i dont know if he thinks idiotic thoughts like what if scamming him...when i have invited and insisted he live here instead. i dont live in a run down house..my house can actually use 10 more people in it. he just doesnt want to. i feel a large bitterness and resentment. we have been fighting, and for the first time he called me a bitch. i just was so shocked, and didnt speak to him for 2 days because of that. i mean, if u can call the mother of ur kids a bitch, not even a wife yet..what respect will you have for her once you grow even more complacent? can anyone help me..this is the only place i feel im gona have serious answers without being trolled. i also cant ask any of my friends, they want me to get married. they will just tell me to suck it up. Edited July 5, 2011 by com
blugirl Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 If my bf called me a bitch even once, he wouldn't see me ever again. I'm sorry but I think it will be much better for you to leave him behind.
amethyste Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 You have already planned a future with someone you've seen only once during a 3 yr relationship? Not good. From your description, he doesn't seem very serious about this relationship... he's not as invested as you are, for sure. I even suspect him of having his own life with someone else where he lives. And even if this isn't true, he seems to do whatever he wants, without taking you/ your opinion into consideration.
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