lastresort Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I am going through a rough divorce. I didn't want it but she did. No infidelity on either side just couldn't live together and we have 2 sons 5&7. My first question is how long after divorce is it ok to date or start a serious relationship? Now for the ethics side. I was out at the local watering hole and ran into a previous client, I happen to be a wedding photographer, we were chatting and catching up when I asked where her H was she informed me she had been divorced for 3 years and she was actually studying to become a photographer as well and wanted to shoot with me. Now we have started working together and there is some attraction, well a lot of attraction. My question is, would it be ethical to date a former client and now a colleague? Part of what ruined my marriage was me working weekends and never getting to see my wife with our opposite schedules. I really want to find someone in my industry so they will understand the business. Thank you for any advice and answers.
blueskyday Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I don't see any conflict. It's not like you were her therapist or anything. You were hired for a service, provided it, and years later she shows up divorce. Fair game. Having gone through a divorce, I would get that finished up before you enter into a full-fledged relationship. It just frees you both up to focus on each other and not the negative stuff associated with a divorce. Enjoy yourself...
blueskyday Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Oh, time frame is up to how the kids are doing. I wouldn't date right after moving out. I gave myself 6 months after divorce to get the kids' lives stable. They needed my attention before I shared it with anyone else. Some people need more time. When you feel like you have created a new life with your kids, with a stable schedule and place to live, then that may be the time you feel ready. It's subjective, but anything that is right away smacks of disrespect to the marriage and the children. They tend to think their family didn't matter much if another woman is on the scene at the same time their dad moves out...bitter stuff...best to avoid it at all costs. Get stable, consistent, then date when divorce is finalized or at least about done.
Author lastresort Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 Thanks for the replies she is actually the one who left not me. It has been almost 6 months and she ain't coming back. we are friendly but she says Cause I wasnt there when she needed me and I didn't do enough to switch my career she can't live her life with me. I am/was a wedding photographer before we met and she never complained. I raised the kids until they started school and then it was convienennce for her to leave. Pretty much built her career while I raised the kids and worked weekends. She makes a ton of money and my business was put on temporary hold while the kids were raised. The girl I am interested in calls me every AM and text through out The day. I honestly don't want to start a relationship until The D is final. which will be mid October. I told The new lgirkl I don't want to rush into things but we do have a ton in common and she is very easyi going. I dontvwaht hereto think shexa "rebound".
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