quietGuy13 Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 And i mean it. Beautiful sexy women will rather be friends with their female friends and lesbians, than be friends with us males. Well that is, if you're an average/below average guy like me. I'm noticing this alot. Yeah you can proveme wrong by saying you've seen plenty of ugly guys with hot women. I can be sure i can prove you wrong in that. Cause I've seen tons and tons of avearage/belowaverage guys and I never see them with sexy beauties. That's why you always see the hot sexy girl by herself a lot of the times, cause she doesn't even want to be friends with the majority of us average folks. You start asking yourself : "Why the heck can i make friends with average/below average girls just by being myself, and when I'm myself with beauties they could careless about me??" "What's wrong with this picture???" NOTICE i said "FRIENDS".. If they're not interested in being even friends . 1000000 X much less they would be girlfriends. ****** So the question then is "Why is it hot sexy beauties OR EVEN decently beautiful normal average girls DO NOT even want friendship with us?" I'm not even asking for a bf/gf relationship. I just want friendship and they don't even want that. I think i know why it is. Cause they're embarrased and disgusted of being seen with ugly/average/below average people. If the ugly guy has some status by being an Engineer or whatever, then she will accept him. but only if that happens.
MarthaMe Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Because of your attitude and personality. Try working on those. I have friends that I think are attractive people. I don't go out looking for "Beautiful/sexy" friends. I go out and look for friends. Stop labelling people. They tend not to like it. Even if it's in a "flattering" way as it makes them feel used.
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I befriend gay guys mostly. The hetero guys I'm friends with are of the same attractiveness because that's my social circle. I tend to find average/ugly guys label their female friends and seek out attractive- pretty, cute, beautiful, sexy- female friends to fill in for a gf if they don't have one. Sort of like well if I can't get a hot gf I'll have a hot female friend. I prefer girls, lesbians, and gay guys over hetero guys for friends because of: the labeling the tendency of guys to not really stay just friends lack of common interests awkwardness between bonding (I can't just act like I would with a girl since he's a guy with a sex drive & the thought of my friend entertaining sexual thoughts about me..)
Sanman Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I'm a guy, but I am going to attempt to answer this for you because I assume their answer will be the same as mine. The answer is simple: I already have a lot of friends. Too many friends, actually, and I barely have time to keep up with them. While I am sorry you can't find any beautiful women to be friends with, it really isn't their problem. You apparently are in need of a friend and not them. People are inherently selfish. If you want to be friends with someone you need to give them a reason to want to be friends with you. It is as simple as that.
Author quietGuy13 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 I'm a guy, but I am going to attempt to answer this for you because I assume their answer will be the same as mine. The answer is simple: I already have a lot of friends. Too many friends, actually, and I barely have time to keep up with them. While I am sorry you can't find any beautiful women to be friends with, it really isn't their problem. You apparently are in need of a friend and not them. People are inherently selfish. If you want to be friends with someone you need to give them a reason to want to be friends with you. It is as simple as that. yeah i noticed this. Whenever i talked to some hot women and then found them on facebook, they already have a bunch of friends and possibly bf. So yeah, they dont' need me. I'm the one that needs friends, but they don't so they're not really interested
Hot Chick Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Honestly, speaking as an attractive woman, it's because guys just want FWBs and make it clear they don't want a relationship from the git-go. So why be friends with a guy who just wants sex from you?
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I'm a guy, but I am going to attempt to answer this for you because I assume their answer will be the same as mine. The answer is simple: I already have a lot of friends. Too many friends, actually, and I barely have time to keep up with them. While I am sorry you can't find any beautiful women to be friends with, it really isn't their problem. You apparently are in need of a friend and not them. People are inherently selfish. If you want to be friends with someone you need to give them a reason to want to be friends with you. It is as simple as that. Whoa so it's selfish for a person to have a reason to be someone's friend? Friends are companions you're close to who you can trust yes if someone wants to be my friend they need to give me a worthwhile reason. That's not selfish but common sense.
runner Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 i'm just curious why the OP is so interested in befriending "beautiful/sexy" women. why does it matter ? with my own circle of close friends, i can't recall one instance where i only became friends with them for that reason.
oaks Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 And i mean it. Beautiful sexy women will rather be friends with their female friends and lesbians, than be friends with us males. Well that is, if you're an average/below average guy like me. I'm noticing this alot. What do you mean by "noticing" it? Are you just seeing beautiful women out with their female friends in a group and assuming that they don't have male friends? Yeah you can proveme wrong by saying you've seen plenty of ugly guys with hot women. I can be sure i can prove you wrong in that. Cause I've seen tons and tons of avearage/belowaverage guys and I never see them with sexy beauties. I'm not sure that your lack of observable average guys with "sexy beauties" is exactly a proof, but keep believing it if you like. Anyway, why do you care how sexy your friends are? or why do you care who these "sexy beauties" choose as their friends? (and... what does this have to do with dating? )
Dooda Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Girls don't look at friends based on their looks. They look at friends based on how compatible a friendship is. You generalizing people like that really doesn't help... "sexy/hot girls"... "average/below average guys"... What about the personalities behind the looks? Sure, some hot girls are vain, but that goes for every other category of girl too... The majority of people aren't vain or selfish. It's something you tell yourself to make you feel better about yourself and your lack of accomplishments when it comes to friendship... If you generalize like this on a forum, IRL these feelings seep through the way you act and your attitude, and people, not just girls, can see straight through it. You've obviously been hurt in one way or another, whether it was through a relationship or from your childhood. Maybe try dealing with that, instead of nitpicking on small things that don't matter, and you'll find things will come a lot easier.
rafallus Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 NOTICE i said "FRIENDS".. If they're not interested in being even friends . 1000000 X much less they would be girlfriends.You think that if you go for a total hottie, tell her you want to be friends, she believes that's exactly what you want, and not just getting into her pants?
Ruby Slippers Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I find it hard to be friends only with guys who are attracted to me because they usually keep trying for more, no matter how clear I make it that I am not interested in them as a boyfriend. And then they act pissed or get passive-aggressive when I don't accept their advances. Not fun.
aj22one Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I find it hard to be friends only with guys who are attracted to me because they usually keep trying for more, no matter how clear I make it that I am not interested in them as a boyfriend. And then they act pissed or get passive-aggressive when I don't accept their advances. Not fun. This. Men and women in general should not be friends. One or the other will develop an attraction and that's not good. Obviously there are exceptions but still...
Sanman Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Whoa so it's selfish for a person to have a reason to be someone's friend? Friends are companions you're close to who you can trust yes if someone wants to be my friend they need to give me a worthwhile reason. That's not selfish but common sense. Yes, it is selfish. Being non-selfish would entail being someone's friend because they need it and not getting something out of it yourself. That usually does not happen. Now, there is nothing wrong with being selfish. People do not go around befriending others for no reason or giving away their savings to homeless people on the street. It doesn't make sense to be completely unselfish to a stranger. That was my point.
allina Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 If you want to be "just friends" then it shouldn't matter if she is sexy/beautiful or not. Second, here is why they don't want to be your friend: when a woman agrees to be friends with a needy guy who gets no attention from women he will become obsessed with her. Sure, at first he will say he is ok with bring friends, then, a week later she is bombarded with crazy messages about how he is in love with her and can't live without her. Women want friends that are on their level.
oaks Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Second, here is why they don't want to be your friend: when a woman agrees to be friends with a needy guy who gets no attention from women he will become obsessed with her. Sure, at first he will say he is ok with bring friends, then, a week later she is bombarded with crazy messages about how he is in love with her and can't live without her. Women want friends that are on their level. Ahh! So the reason I have female friends, successfully, is either because I'm not needy (true, I think) or because I have so many female friends that the crazy messages get spread out amongst so many women that they don't get too freaked out. So, the way to get female friends, if you're needy, is to already have lots of female friends. Hmm. I can see the flaw in this.
allina Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Ahh! So the reason I have female friends, successfully, is either because I'm not needy (true, I think) or because I have so many female friends that the crazy messages get spread out amongst so many women that they don't get too freaked out. So, the way to get female friends, if you're needy, is to already have lots of female friends. Hmm. I can see the flaw in this. Oh, ok, so it's some sort of crazy injustice that a man who has no job, social skills, or really anything to offer doesn't have his pick of hotties to be "friends" with.
grkBoy Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Many hot girls don't make friends with average guys for a multitude of reasons: Most of those guys end up really wanting "more" and thus were only using friendship as a pathetic means to try to get to her.Many hot women don't want to be friends with guys...especially girly guys. They only want to know the guys they will DATE.Hot women want to appear single and available, and do not want to have to tell a hot guy "he's just a friend, really" or worse deal with the "friend" when he's starting drama because he finally "got it" that he had no shot with her to begin with.SOME hot women simply like to surround themselves with "hot people" and thus be guaranteed a pack of hot bridesmaids as well as the hope that an above average male will marry her. I'll also add how many hot girls will make friends with average guys, but only as a warm body when she needs it...and I don't mean sex. He'll be the guy who holds her and tells her how the jerk who just broke her heart didn't deserve her and how wonderful she is.He'll massage her shoulders when she's tired because her actual boyfriend won't bother.He'll be her date to her friend's wedding because her actual boyfriend told her he doesn't do weddings, or she has no boyfriend and thus wants to avoid the dreaded "singles table".He'll be the guy she'll take to meet her parents because they honestly hate her actual boyfriend with a passion, so she tries to dance around the truth that she's still banging the jerk and is pretending that she's really dating the nice guy in an effort to "shut her parents up" about her bad choices. NOW...I'm not saying all "hot" women are shallow, selfish, or immature. I'm simply saying that if you meet women who display these behaviors, move on. Most of the time I think it's just that the guy who wants to be her "friend" really wants to be her boyfriend, and she saw right through his little ruse.
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Yes, it is selfish. Being non-selfish would entail being someone's friend because they need it and not getting something out of it yourself. That usually does not happen. Now, there is nothing wrong with being selfish. People do not go around befriending others for no reason or giving away their savings to homeless people on the street. It doesn't make sense to be completely unselfish to a stranger. That was my point. Sorry but I'm not about to be someone's friend because they need a friend that seems too much of a pity thing. If someone needs a friend I'll help in finding them one where both of them will enjoy being together, or being an ear to talk to if they get lonely. Friendship is a relationship not a charity. For a relationship to work both people have to want it. It's not selfish to be someone's friend because you both want to be friends. The reason to be someone's friend may be selfish or unselfish. But wanting a reason to be someone's friend is not selfish. If it was then being someone's friend because they need one is selfish because it has a reason- that person needs one. The unselfish reasons to be friends is because you both fulfill the role of a friend for each other-someone you enjoy being with, who you can rely on, who you can confide in. Giving that relationship to just anyone for no reason or for the mere reason they need a friend makes no sense to me because you don't know if you like them, will enjoy being around them, can confide in them , or trust them. I'd rather start a relationship because we both wanted it rather than because the one person wanted it. Trying to compare it to donations is a far stretch.
Sanman Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Sorry but I'm not about to be someone's friend because they need a friend that seems too much of a pity thing. If someone needs a friend I'll help in finding them one where both of them will enjoy being together, or being an ear to talk to if they get lonely. Friendship is a relationship not a charity. For a relationship to work both people have to want it. It's not selfish to be someone's friend because you both want to be friends. The reason to be someone's friend may be selfish or unselfish. But wanting a reason to be someone's friend is not selfish. If it was then being someone's friend because they need one is selfish because it has a reason- that person needs one. The unselfish reasons to be friends is because you both fulfill the role of a friend for each other-someone you enjoy being with, who you can rely on, who you can confide in. Giving that relationship to just anyone for no reason or for the mere reason they need a friend makes no sense to me because you don't know if you like them, will enjoy being around them, can confide in them , or trust them. I'd rather start a relationship because we both wanted it rather than because the one person wanted it. Trying to compare it to donations is a far stretch. I agree with most of what you said except the bold section. If you do not need a friend, then it is not selfish. Most friendships are about mutual selfishness. You get something from them and they get something from you. They are not charity. When a friendship becomes too lopsided, one friend usually drops the other. The OP wanted to know why 'hot women' did not want to be friends with him because he needed/wanted hot female friends. My answer was simply that they need a reason to be friends with him beyond the fact that he needs a friend. There needs to be a reason they want to be friends with him.
Author quietGuy13 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 I'm not saying I go only for hot girls. I go for anyone. But if there is a hot girl and i'm attracted, sure i'm gonna talk to her.( the few times that i try..which are not many cause i'm a shy guy) BUt yeah, i have no hopes of having a hot girlfriend cause i know they're not attracted to me(i proved it many times), so when i see them and there's a chance to talk, I'm already given up on them having any interest in me as a DATE... So i don't really try to talk to hot girls with that idea. I talk to hot girls for friendship as humans. But what i'm saying is....Why do hot girls not wanna talk to anyone who's average/below average.
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I'm not saying I go only for hot girls. I go for anyone. But if there is a hot girl and i'm attracted, sure i'm gonna talk to her.( the few times that i try..which are not many cause i'm a shy guy) BUt yeah, i have no hopes of having a hot girlfriend cause i know they're not attracted to me(i proved it many times), so when i see them and there's a chance to talk, I'm already given up on them having any interest in me as a DATE... So i don't really try to talk to hot girls with that idea. I talk to hot girls for friendship as humans. But what i'm saying is....Why do hot girls not wanna talk to anyone who's average/below average. Not sure where you get that idea my girl friends and I talk to everyone I find polite and non creepy whether they're average, ugly, or hot. Most people talk to everyone no matter the looks unless that person is rude or that person unsettles them.
Sanman Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I'm not saying I go only for hot girls. I go for anyone. But if there is a hot girl and i'm attracted, sure i'm gonna talk to her.( the few times that i try..which are not many cause i'm a shy guy) BUt yeah, i have no hopes of having a hot girlfriend cause i know they're not attracted to me(i proved it many times), so when i see them and there's a chance to talk, I'm already given up on them having any interest in me as a DATE... So i don't really try to talk to hot girls with that idea. I talk to hot girls for friendship as humans. But what i'm saying is....Why do hot girls not wanna talk to anyone who's average/below average. You know, going up to a strange attractive woman to become platonic friends with her without the hope of sleeping with her looks remarkably similar to actually hitting on her. How is she supposed to know your intentions unless you literally start a convo with 'I am not hitting on you'?
Author quietGuy13 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 You know, going up to a strange attractive woman to become platonic friends with her without the hope of sleeping with her looks remarkably similar to actually hitting on her. How is she supposed to know your intentions unless you literally start a convo with 'I am not hitting on you'? So you're saying all hot girls consider themselves special, so they think every guy that talks to them is hitting on them?
rafallus Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 How is she supposed to know your intentions unless you literally start a convo with 'I am not hitting on you'? Especially since many players use this line. If a girl is attractive, it's pretty safe bet the man approaching her out of the blue wants to sleep with her. Open question is, does she?
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