misssmartypants Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I dated a guy for a year that basically strung me along and used me. He was also irresponsible and unemployed. But he was smart, kept me on m toes conversationally, was sensational in bed, and adventurous when it came to getting out and doing things like sushi, whine tastings, and camping and hiking. I finally broke it off with him because I realized that I was always going to be the last resort as far as his priorities. If he was bored and all his friends were busy or I was the one paying for the trip, he was interested, otherwise, not so much. He never really introduced me to his friends or family because he never planned on me ever being part of that group. I met another man through a friend at work a few months ago. We went out a few times and became intimate. He has "trouble" in bed - I think related to his weight. He is employed, has full custody of his kids and is connected to his family. But maybe a little too connected. He lives in a two bedroom apartment with his two children, his mother and his brother. The brother is one of these characters that refuses to leave the house or contribute in any way. The mom has some health problems but could live in her own assisted or subsidised place. This whole family seems way too codependent and I'm not sure I want to be all in for that. In addition, the guy is not adventurous at all. His diet resembles a toddler's ideal diet - processed meats and starches, no veggies, nothing outside of plane jane blah. He doesn't venture out much at all really. So here's my problem - Is that enough to break up with a guy? That I think his family situation is wack and I can't imagine making meat and potatoes, hold the potatoes, for the rest of my life? I'm not perfect, am I being too picky? Give me some perspective.
Author misssmartypants Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 Got nothing for me huh? Okay, should I tell him that its his weight and his messy family situation and his immature attitude towards food and anything new or different that is turning me off?
ruffster Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I would think that you could break up with a guy for any reason or even for no reason at all. It can even be just feeling like you don't want to date him anymore.
Author misssmartypants Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 I would think that you could break up with a guy for any reason or even for no reason at all. It can even be just feeling like you don't want to date him anymore. I know, right. But I usually have had trouble finding men who liked me and were into me and I guess I am afraid that if I reject him, no one else will see what he's seen and want to be with me. At the same time . . . the more I think about him and his family and his weight and health and eating habits, the less good I feel about the whole idea of being in a relationship with him, and I I've been strung along and it felt horrible and I wouldn't want to do that to someone.
GildedLily Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 You're not being to picky. After you dump him; don't date for awhile and work on your self worth, self esteem and appearance so you can attract a better person.
rafallus Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 If you are not attracted to him, you're best served not stringing him along. He'll get over it.
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