njord1 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) I've talked to over 10+ people in the past year, all have lead to the same conclusion - break up with her. I've check probably over 200 online discussions, talks, advice and what not and I simply just can't decide whether I am overreacting or this is really the end. We've had a long distance relationship and met online (fancy that) over a game... now, honestly before you bash me, it's not that we're nerds, ugly, or anything infact she is extremly attractive and nice. For most of the past year, we've been through so so much, and it all boils down to her male friends...now, my apologies for this long winded post to be, but honestly, I am completly boned. I don't want to break up with her, but by the way things are going, it looks like things will break themselves up. I met this amazing girl about two years ago over an online game, we instantly connected, had amazing times, we could talk all night and into the morning hours (7:00am plus). She's the first girl i've ever said i love you to, and I meant it fully. I was completly and fully inlove with this girl, she was completly inlove with me. She's told me she'd never leave me, asked me to never leave her, said if we were to ever break it off it would have to be me, etc. I got really into poetry and being sweet to this girl, and everyone was a friend of mine, I was the centre of it all, and I guess it attracted her. She hasn't had a very good past, I can't really discuss that unfortunatley, but I helped her through alot of trauma and care, always being there for her, always making sure she felt just right - she always always wanted me around her, and she practically would just hang out with me. Fast forward a year. This is the day everything slipped downhill. I came online to see her, and realized she was with another guy, as in, talking to him and what not. I realized this wasn't a problem, I mean, I never had an issue with this, but it honestly rubbed me the wrong way. My gut instinct soon paid off. I know this is low, but I was so worried and I basically spied on what they were doing. I know many won't find this as a "big deal" but when I wasn't there she'd blow him kiss emotes, and he'd do the same. Later I got to know the guy, and he turned out to be pretty wacked, but whatever. What really bugs me isn't that, but the fact when I was around and she knew I was, she wouldn't reciprocate that kinda stuff. Anyways, wanna dive deeper? Problems really start to get to me :/ Well, after that run in, she started making friends with guys, and it would just be one guy, and it almost seemed EVERY month she'd have a new one hang along with us to just about anything. She eventually had people saying "if anyone ever hurts you i'll come over and beat there asses" blah blah...you're probably thinking this is just ovvereaction on my part, but its the precusor for stuff thats worse. She seems to make friends with just about any guy who will talk to her, always adding them on facebook too. She had this long lost friend who always flirts with her (and every girl), the only issue is she seems to reciprocate him but not just shutting him down or actually being firm... I'll skip some crap to save you the read, but here's where it really hurts. She met some guy on the game and this guy fell in love with her. The first thing this guy said to me on myspace was "I will have my revenge". I don't even know this guy, but anyways... He starts threatening to kill himself if she doesn't say she loves him, and all that junk. For 3 days he goes offline to give her the idea he did kill himself. But she did say she loved him. Yeah, I get it, big deal. But it gets even better. Eventually he comes back, and they become best friends. He's salivatating over her and I don't say crap because I feel I can trust her and this won't evolve. He's always bad mouths me, posts on all her FB stuff, they practically talk 24/7 AND ON THE PHONE, and of course flirting with her crazily and saying she's beautiful and she's just like nooo i'm not (I didn't even have her # yet, she makes a bad habit of giving it out). The whole time I'm sitting back thinking, aright, this will be over soon. Nope He eventually lies and says my gf has shown how much she loves him, all that, making me think she's cheating on me. I inform her of this, and she plays it stupid... So that leads them to stop talking...great. But doesn't last long, 2 weeks later he's back (wtf). Fastforward 2 months, I'm trying to cope with a guy I feel as a 2nd BF around, it's hard. One night I get up the courage to ask if she likes him. She denies it. A few weeks later, she turned out she stopped talking to him. I asked her why. She told me it was cause he was mean, and I bought it. Thank god we got rid of him. Actually, the real reason was, I later found was she had feelings for this guy. Yup, and she said she loved him, but would always love me more. Tore me to pieces... Ever since I've been so paranoid, been on meds, saw a shrink and a counsellor :/... Nowadays, she has this incredibly perverted guy who spends all his online time with her (and gee, has her #) and thinks its his job to protect her, always seems to be obsessed with her, always trying to "do" things for her, literally won't leave her side, will flock from our game server if she's mad, but if she's okay he bounces right back, despite saying he's on our server for two other people as well. Oh, and he wants to meet her, AND me (right). Infact this girl he was going to meet was a planned sex orgy...he is such a vulgar animal, always talking about sex, blah blah, and my GF knows I dislike him, but i feel forced to "like" him as a friend. Yeah... I know how this guy is, he's a real pervert with any females which annoys me even more because my GF seems to protect him from any accusations and at times makes me wonder if she likes him soley on the fact she has someone always around other than me... T his dude has a friend (who is a girl) and she really likes my girlfriend because well, this friend is bi... And now she's flirting with my gf and my gf doesn't shut it down or anything, and just says i'm ovvereacting about everything when she goes about saying stuff like i love you and I see this other girl saying obscene perverse things to other girls (this is actually a lady of 20 years married with a kid and my gf is 16) I've had people say that my gf and this other guy (the long lost one from before) are flirty, and my gf seems to get so wrapped up in other guys and must bring them along, we can't do things alone, i've talked to her but she doesn't seem to want to ever. She seems to get so friendly just with everyone and well, it seems to bring on these odd kind of people who try to get into our buisnesses, flirt with her, screw up our relationship, be around all the time, and whatnot :/ but as of now, she seems rly distant, doesn't seem to want to do things with me, and is ALWAYS mad at me. it doesn't help she practically has 99% of her friends as guyfriends either irl :/ and now she's starting to hang out with them more :l We've fought about this issue for several months now, I've tried to accept them as they are but it always leads to us arguing :/ The more i agree and let her win, the more they are in my life :l She doesn't seem to care how i feel about her friends who make my life miserable... Maybe I am, but i haven't even given you guys 50% of the whole story, i'm really sorry for the long post this has just torn me apart :/ if you need any clarification or more to it, please let me know... Edited July 4, 2011 by njord1 added stuff
PegNosePete Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Dude. Ditch the attention seeking hussy. She is disrespecting you every day and you just sit there and take it. No good will come of this relationship. Put down the mouse and get outside in the sun. Real girls in the park look much better than elves and taurans.
NervisPervis Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 No, we don't need clarification. We're good. Dump her. Are you serious? Dump her and move on.
TeeStar Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 'She's an attention seeker' was my first thought when reading your post. I completely agree with PegNosePete. Break up, move on, get out & meet girls 'in person' I must say, you've been extremely patient, putting up with that $hitty behaviour for a year!
rafallus Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 and my gf is 16 All we need to know, really. She's a child, not fit for commited relationships.
PegNosePete Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 and my gf is 16 Oh yeah, didn't see that bit. WTF dude????
Magictoasty Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 By holding her to this online romance you are denying her a proper child's social experiences. If you loved her you would leave her and encourage her to get more involved in the real world and less with your online one, yes I've played (what I'm assuming is) WoW or probably whatever MMO you met her in and yeah I've had romances in that too but honestly people fall in love with an idea of a person online that is rarely true and rarely healthy. Get out of her life for both your sakes, give up all ties you have for her and find a new crowd. Remember, she is 16 and a child.
Author njord1 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 thanks for all the responses, i really appreciate them. we've met in real life a few times now, each has been very very nice, it just really bothers me when people from the game are texting her, or the last time (for some reason) she seemed quite distant and quiet :/, i've heard alot of break up with her, but for some reason i'm not sure if i really want to
PegNosePete Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Do her parents know she is meeting, texting and having relationships with random dudes off the internet?
Author njord1 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 well, her parents like me ALOT and i'm supposedly the only one she's ever met (but she jokes around meeting the long lost friend who flirts with her). Her parents do know about these other "friends", (i've heard her talking to her parents about them,) and as far as her parents know, i'm the only one she's in a relationship with and i'm pretty sure they know about the texting. We were on a date once and in the middle some guy starts texting her, it wasn't for too long but it just annoyed me so bad; i thought we were FINALLY away from the virtual world and crowd of her friends but i guess not...
PegNosePete Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Dude. It was a rhetorical question. She is a kid. Leave her alone!
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