If your BF/GF did this, would you still be mad?

July 4, 2011

Alright so it was an argument that got somewhat out of control yesterday but I was drunk. To be honest don't recalled that much how it all started but think he said something I didn't liked and my reaction was too fast without thinking, I just shoved him and he fell on the pool, got all wet.

He's a good swimmer and well afterwards (after almost everyone at the party saw this) it got soo awkward. While he were in the car driven by one of my female girls, he sat there and whole time and didn't spoke a word to me on the way home.

After calling him for the 3rd time he finally answered but said he's still mad and hanged up. How long is he going to still be mad at me?

I was drunk.. people do things when drunk... and well I'm only 18 years old.

Edited July 4, 2011 by SpencerSparkles

July 5, 2011

You were 18 and drunk?!

Well you did what you did. Being drunk is not an excuse in my opinion. Some people can control themselves when drunk.

Such unstable actions can be deal breakers to a lot of people.

You have called, did you at least tell him that you were sorry?

If so I would just let him cool down and approach you. If he doesn't after a while, I'd move on personally.

Also you might want to stay away from things like alcohol if it affects you in such a way. It could save you a lot of drama later in life.

July 5, 2011

Yes, I would be really mad. I don't blame him for his reaction.

What you did is immature.

Being drunk is an excuse. Own up to what you did and think about why you did it so you don't repeat it. I would think twice about being with you if I were him.

You're lucky he's a good swimmer. Even if he's a good swimmer, freaky things can happen when you push someone into a pool. Check out the link. The woman's friend pushed her into a pool leaving her paralyzed.

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/health/Playful_push_into_pool_leaves_bride-to-be_paralyzed-109893084.html

July 5, 2011

You have called, did you at least tell him that you were sorry?

I was going to yesterday but he hanged up too fast so I'll say it in his email.

So by then I guess everything will be alright again right and he'll forget this in no time??

I admit it was funny at that moment seeing him all soaking wet, I started laughing.

July 5, 2011

Afishwithabike that's terrible what happened to a bride-to-be. It's great she has a great guy who'll still marry her and be by her side. I don't know what I would have done if something like this happens. Thank goodness nothing like this occured with my BF.

July 5, 2011

I wouldn't be mad. I'd be even.

If my drunk 18-year-old girlfriend threw me into a pool at a party, I would get right out, and then 30 seconds later we'd both be in the pool.

July 5, 2011

I admit it was funny at that moment seeing him all soaking wet, I started laughing.

This to me would be even worse than the push into the pool.

If you really want to be back with him, you're going to have to write a very apologetic email to him. Tell him you won't do that again. Give him time to cool off and maybe he'll respond to you.

July 5, 2011

You basically humiliated him in front of all your friends and then laughed at him.

It's one thing to do it in a joking manner, having fun etc. But the situation in which this happened....I'd kick you to the curb.

July 6, 2011

You basically humiliated him in front of all your friends and then laughed at him.

It's one thing to do it in a joking manner, having fun etc. But the situation in which this happened....I'd kick you to the curb.

^^ Agree with this.

July 6, 2011

I was going to yesterday but he hanged up too fast so I'll say it in his email.

So by then I guess everything will be alright again right and he'll forget this in no time??

I admit it was funny at that moment seeing him all soaking wet, I started laughing.

WHAT????

You pushed your boyfriend into a pool, laughed at him, and then use the fact that you were drunk as a justification for him to forgive you.

OP, if the shoe was on the other foot, if he had pushed you in the pool, laughed at you, and then said "but I was drunk honey" would YOU be able to let it go and forgive him?

July 6, 2011

I really think everyone here is blowing this out of proportion. I'm 27 and my friend still do stuff like this to each other. While I believe that saying your drunk is a cop out, just own up to what you did, apologize, and give him the space he needs to cool off.

As for if my boyfriend pushed me in the pool, would I be mad? Maybe for a second, but he'd better run because guess who's going in the pool next?

I'm mean come on people, my mother was pushed in a pool at 18, in about 6 layers of clothes, in snow boots by her friends and she's not mad at them -- oh yeah, and she doesn't know how to swim so they had to go fish her out.

I say just apologize, say you realize it was immature and then give him the space he needs to get over it.

July 6, 2011

I really think everyone here is blowing this out of proportion. I'm 27 and my friend still do stuff like this to each other. While I believe that saying your drunk is a cop out, just own up to what you did, apologize, and give him the space he needs to cool off.

As for if my boyfriend pushed me in the pool, would I be mad? Maybe for a second, but he'd better run because guess who's going in the pool next?

I'm mean come on people, my mother was pushed in a pool at 18, in about 6 layers of clothes, in snow boots by her friends and she's not mad at them -- oh yeah, and she doesn't know how to swim so they had to go fish her out.

I say just apologize, say you realize it was immature and then give him the space he needs to get over it.

I would agree that pushing him in the pool as a JOKE would not be that big of a deal, but they were in an argument. Just her shoving him at all COULD be considered violence. Maybe you are right, maybe we are blowing this out of proportion. But obviously her boyfriend isn't letting it go and is pissed off, so she needs to apologize, just give him space and see if he gets over it.

July 10, 2011

The update is things got sorted out and I'll just leave this as a drunken stupidity.

Just her shoving him at all COULD be considered violence.

Come on, it's not like you can get charges for this. I'm only 5´5 while he's 6'1 and if it weren't for the pool, maybe my shove wasn't even that hard. If it was, I'm sure it wouldn't have caused him any real damage. Therefore, I'm harmless.

July 11, 2011

The update is things got sorted out and I'll just leave this as a drunken stupidity.
Come on, it's not like you can get charges for this. I'm only 5´5 while he's 6'1 and if it weren't for the pool, maybe my shove wasn't even that hard. If it was, I'm sure it wouldn't have caused him any real damage. Therefore, I'm harmless.

So kicking him in the nuts or punching him in the throat would be "harmless" because your only 5'5? Just using your own rational of thought here...

I don't think you understand...

If it WAS as a joke, ok haha funny yeah.

It wasn't, that's the difference.

July 11, 2011

So kicking him in the nuts or punching him in the throat would be "harmless" because your only 5'5? Just using your own rational of thought here...

Well that should only be used in self-defense. Ex: If some psycho was trying to rape me or wouldn't let me go then yes I would do as you're describing and cause him as much damage as possible.

However, part from that if it's only shoving, then there is absolutely no harm done to the guy.

I don't think you understand...

If it WAS as a joke, ok haha funny yeah.

It wasn't, that's the difference.

Well he did said something I didn't like and it was kind of rude but it was just shoving. There are some girls that would have probably slapped him (vice-versa would obviously be a NO NO) for it but it's mean IMO so I only pushed him into the pool. Edited July 11, 2011 by SpencerSparkles

July 12, 2011

There are some girls that would have probably slapped him (vice-versa would obviously be a NO NO) for it but it's mean IMO so I only pushed him into the pool.

Depending on the state, the shove into the pool may constitute an assault or simple battery.

July 12, 2011

Well that should only be used in self-defense. Ex: If some psycho was trying to rape me or wouldn't let me go then yes I would do as you're describing and cause him as much damage as possible.

However, part from that if it's only shoving, then there is absolutely no harm done to the guy.

Yes, self defense is obviously different. But you tried to justify your actions towards him (which was NOT self defense) by saying you just a small girl. Well a small girl can still cause a lot of damage....so that's a ignorant defense.

Well he did said something I didn't like and it was kind of rude but it was just shoving. There are some girls that would have probably slapped him (vice-versa would obviously be a NO NO) for it but it's mean IMO so I only pushed him into the pool.

So pushing him into the pool was a better alternative to slapping him? How about not getting violent in any way shape or form, ESPECIALLY in front of friends. You pull him aside and say something to him, or you hold it until you have privacy. You don't air the dirty laundry, so to speak, in public.

He said something stupid, which all men do. You pushed him into the pool to get "even" then laughed at him in front of all your friends. You humiliated him.

Listen,

What he does and says to you is not your fault, but how you react IS your fault.

July 12, 2011

Yes, self defense is obviously different. But you tried to justify your actions towards him (which was NOT self defense) by saying you just a small girl. Well a small girl can still cause a lot of damage....so that's a ignorant defense.

I was only pointing out facts. Yes there are certain girls that can harm a man (if we're talking about Mia St. Johns the professional female boxer then yes) but if we don't go straight towards the man's nuts then in general we can't hurt him as much as vice-versa. I was only explaining things in general.

So pushing him into the pool was a better alternative to slapping him? How about not getting violent in any way shape or form, ESPECIALLY in front of friends.

Ok yes, I admit it. I felt like slapping him at that moment. Now I know it's not right but I'm sure this wouldn't have hurt him at all.The only person I slapped was my brother several ocassions during our childhood years through the mid-teen years (not often, once in a while if he was annoying or saying a bunch of mean stuff) and no still there was no harm done. We get along better now than before.

Back to subject: You're really treating this as if it was a violent act when I'm usually a calm, laid back person. I'm not violent. It was only in that moment but do promise to control my drinking from now on.

He said something stupid, which all men do. You pushed him into the pool to get "even" then laughed at him in front of all your friends. You humiliated him.

This has already been sorted out. I did felt bad afterwards.

What he does and says to you is not your fault, but how you react IS your fault.

That's why I'm not going to drink to excess in the future.

July 15, 2011

Stop trying to justify it.

If he'd punched you in an argument because he was drunk you'd be absolutely furious (and rightly so). You pushed him and he could've banged his head on the side of the pool and died. Stupid thing to do. You should be grateful he's talking to you at all.

July 15, 2011

Having an argument is one thing,

but to

push your fella into a pool
in front of your friends
then laugh at him

You don't respect him.

I don't think you love him...

You don't humiliate people you love or have respect for...

Bad girlfriend, FAIL...

July 15, 2011

If he'd punched you in an argument because he was drunk you'd be absolutely furious (and rightly so).

Not only that but he would become my ex BF right away and find himself in jail facing assault charges. I know this may seem bias but that's not accepted to us. It means we're dealing with a dangerous man that can do it again.

You pushed him and he could've banged his head on the side of the pool and died. Stupid thing to do. You should be grateful he's talking to you at all.

But I apologized and felt bad about it afterwards. I made a mistake and that's why I'm not ever drinking that much, not to the point of getting waste.

July 15, 2011

I am teaching my son not to shove someone in anger. He's two years old, so he can't do much damage either, and yet he is learning that it isn't right to hit or push or kick or bite instead of using his words. It's important to learn to articulate your feelings, SpencerSparkles, and engage other people with a certain basic level of respect, rather than lashing out with all the self-control of a young child. It's not always easy when you're frustrated, or if you've been drinking, but many of the most important things in life are not easy.

It's okay to still be in a learning process. But you should acknowledge that, and then keep learning your lessons from that point, rather than justifying and deflecting.

You did something wrong. Learn from it and let it help you become a better person.

July 15, 2011

if hes still mad at you thats stupid he shouldent be you were drunk it was the synthahall and thats a stupid reson anyway its just water its not radio active acid or lava and ya so if he stay mad at you for like a week id ethir give himt he silent treat ment when he starts talking to you again or find someone new hes not right for you if he dosent like you at your worst he dosent diserve you at your best an if i was my bf doing this i wood have gotten sick of it on the 3ed and told him flat out hes being a baby about it

July 15, 2011

if hes still mad at you thats stupid he shouldent be you were drunk it was the synthahall and thats a stupid reson anyway its just water its not radio active acid or lava and ya so if he stay mad at you for like a week id ethir give himt he silent treat ment when he starts talking to you again or find someone new hes not right for you if he dosent like you at your worst he dosent diserve you at your best an if i was my bf doing this i wood have gotten sick of it on the 3ed and told him flat out hes being a baby about it

Incoherently bad advice.

July 15, 2011

Not only that but he would become my ex BF right away and find himself in jail facing assault charges. I know this may seem bias but that's not accepted to us. It means we're dealing with a dangerous man that can do it again.

But I apologized and felt bad about it afterwards.

that's ok then...[:rolleyes:/B]

I made a mistake and that's why I'm not ever drinking that much, not to the point of getting waste.

Funny how it's so black & white when it's a guy hitting a woman...

yeah if a guy treated me like this, i would feel the same,

also, if i was a guy and a girl treated me like this, I would also, then feel the same too...

If he's a dangerous man, then you, my dear are a dangerous woman, right? Surely, right?

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