ShoeGurl1973 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Im at 3 months NC... anybody have luck hearing from their ex passed that point or is it pretty much a sign that its hopeless if you havent heard from them by that point?
Mack05 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Im at 3 months NC... anybody have luck hearing from their ex passed that point or is it pretty much a sign that its hopeless if you havent heard from them by that point? Shoe when you start NC it shouldn't be done hoping your ex comes back. That will slow your healing process. NC should be all about you and your healing (accepting that the relationship is over and grieve for it) not hoping that your ex will miss you and come back..
MandyC18 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 i can barely handle 3days NC but 3months wow, ive read stories about first loves coming back years from now. Hope doesnt mean your clinging onto the past, hope can mean your past will catch up with you (: you NEVER KNOW what could happen, good luck (:
Tryin Hard 2 Make It Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Im at 3 months NC... anybody have luck hearing from their ex passed that point or is it pretty much a sign that its hopeless if you havent heard from them by that point? No Contact is a way to detach from the relationship. Who initiated the no contact in your situation?
Author ShoeGurl1973 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I initiated NC. After a month he sent me a couple texts apologizing for how mean he was when we broke up. Then he said he had failed and he should have tried harder. i felt like he wa screwing with my head after breaking up with me making me think it was all my fault and then apologizing and saying he failed etc. I told him i wished him luck an to not contact me going forward. i was pissed. Really dont want him back but would like to see him regret his decisions.
Mack05 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I initiated NC. After a month he sent me a couple texts apologizing for how mean he was when we broke up. Then he said he had failed and he should have tried harder. i felt like he wa screwing with my head after breaking up with me making me think it was all my fault and then apologizing and saying he failed etc. I told him i wished him luck an to not contact me going forward. i was pissed. Really dont want him back but would like to see him regret his decisions. Maybe he regrets his decisions and actions shoegurl, maybe he doesn't. Receiving an apology from him shouldn't be in your thoughts because it's not important for your recovery. You don't need an apology to move on from him. Focus on you now. This guy should no longer be in your thoughts. Move forward to bigger and better things..
TheHurtProcess Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I totally agree with Mack05. It took maybe a week or two after initiating NC, but after I accepted that my relationship was dead and buried, I was able to put everything behind me. I'm at about three weeks now and I'm just about over her all together. At three months I can see myself having forgotten all about my ex all together. You have to give up all hope that you will ever reconcile or that your ex will ever come back and then every day beyond that point will be a little better until one day you realize that you don't about your ex as much at all. You're just as strong as any one of us in here. You can do this.
The_Good_Me Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 You have to give up all hope that you will ever reconcile or that your ex will ever come back and then every day beyond that point will be a little better until one day you realize that you don't about your ex as much at all. This is definitely the way forward! The day I severed the last 1% of hope that we'd reconcile was the day my thoughts turned to focusing on myself. I've already met some great new people, taken up couple of new hobbies and I am planning for my future around me. Time to be selfish and think of number 1, yourself! You'll still think about your ex for a while and you'll still have the odd time where you'll get upset. Let the emotions go through you and you'll come out the other side. The frequency of this is steadily declining for me now and it will for you too Hanging onto any shred of hope is going to delay your healing no doubt but it can be very hard to sever that hope. If you haven't already, I honestly think you should work on doing so as your first step to recovery. It will come naturally in it's own time. The main thing to do is to not think about reconciliation and that will help achieve losing hope. It's a sad way to put it and a sad thing to do but you really need to focus on yourself right now!
TheHurtProcess Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I've already met some great new people, taken up couple of new hobbies and I am planning for my future around me. Time to be selfish and think of number 1, yourself! I couldn't agree more! Your ex is being rude/selfish and totally self-centered by thinking of only themselves. It's now the time to return that favor my friend I've been keeping myself insanely busy as well. Not only does it take your mind off of your problems, but it also makes you feel good as well. For one, I've started working out 3 to 5 days a week. On top of that I've downloaded a ton of ebooks to read and keep my mind busy. I tend to read DIY books and a ton of educational material. Knowledge is power and with a decent education, you'll hopefully come out of this a very successful and talented individual with a nice set of skills. I've also re-enrolled into college to finish a degree I had previously put off so I could work and spend more time with the ex, haha. What good that did. I'd like to see my ex s**t bricks when she see's what she gave up on. On top of all that, I've created several goals for myself to accomplish. I'm a very creative person. I'm no genius, but I am somewhat intelligent. I play music as well as work with art, graphic design and web design. So, I've created a few business oriented/creative goals to work towards and make a name for myself. I have so much else going on that it would take me all day to type it all out. But you get the hint. Work on YOU. Keep your mind busy and before you know it, you'll have completely forgotten about all of your problems. Trust me!
lofi_tokyo Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Pro-Tip: Use NC to get over your ex. Stop wondering if/when all hopes becomes lost. I didn't talk to an ex for two years and he came begging back. You just never know.
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