just_scott Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 hey, hey WELL i did what i set out to do with my ex of4 yrs who walked out on me one night without a reason,note,e mail,or hand shake . I ran into her at the store last night [ Sun ] we were both shopping. i said hi , she said hi ,asked if i had plans today [Mon] i said nothing really soo she asked if i'd be o.k. with her stopping by at somepoint to pick up some shirts she left at my place ,i told her not a problem said see ya tomorrow and continued shopping . GET a call around 10 am from her,i answerd she asked if i'd be home around 1 pm ,i said yea i'll be here ,she said k i'll stop by around 1. she got here like 10 after 1 i said your late lol the shirts were in a bag by the door , i carried them out put them in her car.she thanked me , said not a problem.THEN i said you got acouple of minutes i wanna show you something real quick she said k . CAME back in told her have a seat ,[ i was actually a bit nervous,excited,anxious ] I pulled out my note book ,sat across from her looked her in the eyes and said ... I know you've lied to me latly , no you've cheated on me , i know with who ,and where .her eyes got wide .I told her i lost respect for her and that her actions changed my mind on her and showed me where i really stood with her .SHE said are you a detective now ? i told her look the place that gives those dance lessons is a block away from my house , i've seen your car their-i walk my dog everyday same times you know this .i've seen you and him get into your car and him drive,i've seen you both in his jeep , i've seen his jeep parked in your driveway late hours [she lives by my sister and you have to go down her street to get to my sisters place ] SHE looked like a deer caught in the head-lights didn't admit or deny anything ..she did tear up and start crying BUT i didn't put my arms aroud her to console her or say we can get past this etc . i gave her a napkin ,i said so now i know why you've been so distant towards me latly ,AND it's really low to use your kids as an excuse to me for you to be with him -se looked at her watch a couple of times said she had ''friends waiting on her'' I said yea probably him like the last times so go it's nice out enjoy the day take care .... SHE went to the door turned looked at me and left ... AND now i feel AWESOME like a big weights been lifted from me . i wont be feeling like some idiot or foolish anymore ,she calls or texts or e-mails now everything gets ignored I'VE tried numerous times in the past for her to just sit and talk with me SHE never has ..so this was a last resort for me and i'm glad i did it i think of her now i just laugh to myself ...MAYBE down the road i'll answer one of her calls NOT anytime soon though I want her to sit with this and think about her actions ..WE'VE talked in the begining of the relationship about liers and cheaters and both agreed we hatted them and she was cheated on in her marrage soo she knows first hand how being cheatted on feels and turns around and does it to me NOPE not happening I busted her and called her out on it with hard core FACTS ....
Mack05 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Scott what have you achieved exactly? It looks like the girl who you spent 4 years of your life with, has been cheating on you. I have no idea how anyone can feel 'AWESOME' after finding this kind of information out. No offence mate but you have been so up and down (and not in a good way). Your thought process when she leaves you today is "maybe I might answer her call, but not for awhile"..Believe me that should be THEEEE last thing on you mind! Up until today how many posts did you post about breaking NC? Mate, I seriously think you need to go to Therapy. Your thought process is all over the place at the moment and you are seriously kidding yourself right now. I don't want to come across as condescending, but I seriously think you need to talk to a professional because you are not handling this well. Your kidding yourself right now. I'd bet you any money that over the next few weeks, you will be posting plenty of new threads and all of them all over the place (like your previous one's).. I wish well mate. I think you have a long hard road ahead. Right now you are pushing your emotions to one side and your not dealing with things in the correct way (kidding yourself)..This will lead to problems down the road.
Author just_scott Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 i now have my answers of why she just walked out on me for 1 so i know it was nothing i've done [like she told me ] it was / is all her . THEY go to these dance lessons a block away from my house SOO now i don't feel like i'm being made to look like an idiot or she got over on me like by saying ''he just lives right their and we're right over here he's soo unaware'' WELL after everything i said sits with her for a while if she calls me sometime down the road for whatever reeason i may answer her call BUT it definatly wont be like anytime this year I just feel good letting everything i know out on the person who's betrayed me , it was hurting me inside knowing what she's been doing and just keeping it to myself bottled up BUT now that i've released it i feel GREAT no hard feelings towards her,no wishing her failure nothing i'm like released , you don't want to be with me THEN don't be with me BUT at least tell me don't be sneaky about it and see some other guy behind my back , under my nose IN the past i had to break N.C. i didn't want to be a D**K and toss her things out or bring them to her myself AND none of our mutual friends wanted to get involved soo i always gave her the option to come get the things . HER contacting me isn't on my mind i'm outside doing things i don't even have my cell on me and i'm not running to check to see if i've missed calls or have messages. WE will eventually run into each other at a store or a club , or a street festival BUT i wont have a problem now if she waves i'll wave back ,she comes to talk ,i'll say i got to meet so and so and just walk away I don't have the feelings now of wanting to hear her or to try to recocile NOW i feel i can just pass her by like just some random person ... I wasn't mean or angry when i told her all i knew i didn't fly off the handle and go into some rage i just talked / let it out I didn't ask her if she'd like to say anything [cause now i don't care ]
Mack05 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I wasn't mean or angry when i told her all i knew i didn't fly off the handle and go into some rage i just talked / let it out I didn't ask her if she'd like to say anything [cause now i don't care ] Mate thats my point. You have posted 23 new threads since the 19th of June. Now you find out that this girl who you spend 4 years of your life with (who you have posted 23 various threads about) has been cheating on you and now you don't care?. No anger, no emotion. Your kidding yourself Scott.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I understand that love drives people absolutely mad and I can see why you're all over the place as Mack05 had mentioned. I just seriously hope that you're being honest with yourself and stick to your guns by not breaking NC again. I have a friend who is in the same situation as you. She is a female however. She calls me up a couple times a week to tell me that she's had enough of her exes s**t, says that she's done, never going to talk to him and all that jazz. Then a day or two later, I call to see what she's up to and she tells me that her ex is at her place, is taking her out to dinner or something of the sort. Then the next day she calls me crying again saying that he hurt her all over again. This has been going on since January however. I keep telling her that she could have been over this BS months ago if she would just let him go. It's almost ridiculous. The sad part is that she's 36 years old, I'm 28 and I'm the one giving her advice as well as acting much more rational about my breakup compared to her bouncing all over the place. So, like I said, I understand. Some people go mad for love and their denial stage just never really ends. I hope you've really let go this time, for your own sake. You're driving yourself mad and as it appears, everyone at LS seems to agree. No offense. I've got nothing towards you bro. As far as I see it, we're all in the same position, we all just take the pain a little differently and some of us take longer to "accept", "let go", "move on", "get over it" (and so on) than others. Good luck, my friend. You'll get there sooner or later.
Author just_scott Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 WELL i have NO anger or any type of a feeling for her anymore for the simple fact I tried to do the right thing and sit with her and talk numerous times to NO avail ,YOU can only try attempting something so many times before you just say eh screw it . IT'S obvious she no longer wants to be with me it happens i accept it you can't make someone do something they don't want to do SO why bother trying .. JUST picked up a new cell phone SHE isn't getting the number,I turned off the old cell and stuck it in a drawer,I am moving this week and she doesn't know where to [she's asked ] i told her just North of here [really it's South ] I'VE told our mutual friends if she asks where i've moved to to just say they aren't sure they haven't been to the new place AND if she asks about my cell they should just say i've called it BUT he hasn't replied ,WITH e-mail she is BLOCKED [we don't use face book , or my space etc .] I just dropped by a neighbors b b q and hung out for a bit had a drink they said i look like i was re born lol , I even got 2 phone numbers off 2 women i'd just met their . NO way i could have done these things a week or 2 ago NO WAY ....... I just basically said eh screw her today she doesn't wanna be with me her decission ,and i feel GREAT a weight has been lifted . TONIGHT i can't wait to go to bed and just sleep peacefully
TheHurtProcess Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 WELL i have NO anger or any type of a feeling for her anymore for the simple fact I tried to do the right thing and sit with her and talk numerous times to NO avail ,YOU can only try attempting something so many times before you just say eh screw it . IT'S obvious she no longer wants to be with me it happens i accept it you can't make someone do something they don't want to do SO why bother trying .. JUST picked up a new cell phone SHE isn't getting the number,I turned off the old cell and stuck it in a drawer,I am moving this week and she doesn't know where to [she's asked ] i told her just North of here [really it's South ] I'VE told our mutual friends if she asks where i've moved to to just say they aren't sure they haven't been to the new place AND if she asks about my cell they should just say i've called it BUT he hasn't replied ,WITH e-mail she is BLOCKED [we don't use face book , or my space etc .] I just dropped by a neighbors b b q and hung out for a bit had a drink they said i look like i was re born lol , I even got 2 phone numbers off 2 women i'd just met their . NO way i could have done these things a week or 2 ago NO WAY ....... I just basically said eh screw her today she doesn't wanna be with me her decission ,and i feel GREAT a weight has been lifted . TONIGHT i can't wait to go to bed and just sleep peacefully Good bro. I seriously hope everything works out for you. Like I said in the post you made yesterday, it's been about 3 weeks since my ex and I went NC and I feel great as opposed to even last week. It's like every day I get a little bit better and I'm almost back to being the old me again. The person I was before I even met her is finally back and I love the single life as of right now. Just imagine where you're going to be one month from now.
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