tb24 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) Long backstory: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t273623/ Short backstory: Met a barmaid months ago who was flirting with me then flaked on me when I arranged a date (she did actually cancel and not just fail to show up) because she had a boyfriend (Which she hadn't previously mentioned, but did allow me to see it on facebook). Since then: -Most times I go to that bar, I get a few free drinks from her and she's still quite flirty. -After getting with my (now ex) gf and going "in a relationship" on facebook she talked to me the next time I was at the bar and there was a definite hint of jealousy from her asking lots of questions about my new girlfriend. On friday, after setting myself back to single (and she'd have seen it on facebook) for just over a week I went to the bar with my friend. She made a point of telling me she was single as of the day before but didn't want the world to find out via facebook so hadn't put it on there yet and it was on a "need to know" basis. She felt the need to tell me seconds after I got to the bar where she works She also made a point of telling me she'd "seriously thought about cheating" and that's why she had to leave her bf before it eventually happened. So anyway, I'm not interested in becoming a rebound so I haven't contacted her since. I definitely think she's interested but I'm not sure the best way to progress. She'd obviously emotionally ejected from her previous relationship months ago so is it safe to ask her out without it becoming a rebound? Edited July 4, 2011 by tb24
Joe Normal Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Stop caring about being a rebound. It is completely irrelevant - if she is really into you, then it doesn't matter if you date her now, or in 6 months. In fact, the longer you wait, the more likely another chap snaps her up. Ask her out, see how it goes, and just keep your eyes open. This paranoid approach you have needs to stop.
Author tb24 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 You're right, of course. One of my friends made a good point, she said "It was clearly over before it was over" so realistically the girl hasn't just come out of a relationship. I asked her out and she seemed very receptive. She has to check if she has to work that night, but hopefully not. If not I'll see if she wants to meet up during the week
utterer of lies Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 I'm not interested in becoming a rebound so I haven't contacted her since. I definitely think she's interested but I'm not sure the best way to progress. She'd obviously emotionally ejected from her previous relationship months ago so is it safe to ask her out without it becoming a rebound? Why would you ask her out? She canceled on you last time, so if she wants something from you, she has to put in the work.
Author tb24 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 True, but she obviously thought about cheating on her boyfriend and had second thoughts. She clearly wasn't happy in her relationship even then (Back in april). She did actually cancel on me with a long apologetic message rather than just not turning up. Both of these I'd consider her make her a good person at heart. She wasn't actually able to go through with cheating on her BF (Even to the point of going on a date with me). Yes, she cancelled once but now she's single she won't have that guilty conscience that she did last time. Ok, if she flakes this time, obviously that's the end of it
betterdeal Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 (edited) What's so bad about having an in-between thing with her? Okay, it'll probably be just a lot of amazing sex, no commitment, then it might get messy and you'll give her the flick but, apart from the amazing sex, what's so bad about it? It doesn't have to be forever. Be a lovely bastard. Edited July 11, 2011 by betterdeal
Author tb24 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Well nothing really, but I haven't even been on a single date with her yet I'll just see where it goes.
betterdeal Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Well nothing really, but I haven't even been on a single date with her yet I'll just see where it goes. Good for you. I think, if you turn up at the bar, and she's horny, and you say, "let's go", that's all you need to do. Then go, to your place, or hers, and get with the amazing rebound sex. Just don't promise her anything you won't deliver.
betterdeal Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Aye. Good for a fun thing. Might be in the wrong place right now for something deeper. Not to say that will always be the case, but knowing you're having an in-between thing helps you keep perspective.
Author tb24 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Oh she always gets hit on at the bar. But she seems pretty immune to it, the few times I've been there she's told guys who are hitting on her that she's busy then come over to talk to me. She's probably more interested in me because I didn't make any effort to flirt or hit on her. It's also sort of a sports bar and I'm one of the only goth/alternative looking guys that goes in there. Looking at her ex, the sporty big muscle guys who are usually in there are not her type Either way, I have a date with her (if she doesn't cancel ).
betterdeal Posted July 11, 2011 Posted July 11, 2011 Oh she always gets hit on at the bar. But she seems pretty immune to it, the few times I've been there she's told guys who are hitting on her that she's busy then come over to talk to me. She's probably more interested in me because I didn't make any effort to flirt or hit on her. It's also sort of a sports bar and I'm one of the only goth/alternative looking guys that goes in there. Looking at her ex, the sporty big muscle guys who are usually in there are not her type Either way, I have a date with her (if she doesn't cancel ). Don't pretend to be anything you're not. She'll see through it in an instant. She likes you, as you are. Be yourself. Have fun. Enjoy.
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