Surf Rider Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 It's been a little over a year since my ex left me. I'm a shy guy by nature. My youngest brother could walk up to any girl and start a conversation as if he has know her for all his life. Anyway it is very hard for me to generate a conversation with someone much less ask her for a date. I get very nervous. Any advice???
TheCoolest Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 You need to learn to talk to people. Find out what your fear is and get over it. I used t be scared to talk to people because i thought they wouldn't like me. But i got over that. You need to stop caring what other people think about you. Because in all honesty doesn't matter one bit. That is harder said then done but it is quite possible. You should also "fake it till you make it" Simply fake confidence. Go around and think in your head that you are the ish. That you are better then 99% of the guys in this world. That any women is blessed by your presence. Don't say this out loud. Don't act like a douche. But just know that it is true. Or at least go about approaching women as if it is true. You need to come out of your shell. Become more talkative. I did this my freshman year of high school and idk what made me do it. I guess i just gained more confidence but i went from a mute loner to that guy who wouldn't shut up. You should do the same. Take talking to people as a game. If you can make them have an enjoyable conversation with you then you win. The more you talk to people the better you get at it. Just try starting conversations with any random that you meet. It might be awkward at first but eventually you will get the hang of it. As far as asking women out goes you just gotta do it. You can't be a little vagina about it. You can't beat around the bush. Or try to pick up little signals. We are too old for that BS. If you like a woman go for the kill. Just come right out and ask. Whats she gonna say no? Good move on to the next.
carhill Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Nothing wrong with having a wingman bird-dog for you. People are unique in what and who they find attractive so little brother could be the Astroglide to facilitate yourself and a like-minded lady to become familiar. Of course, there are lots of self-help books out there and the canned LS advice to 'just ask someone out on a date' but that really doesn't help much if you're shy. Many years ago I fixed my shyness by volunteering for positions which required me to speak in public. Facing fear and conquering it led to inroads in other areas, like with women. Your path will be your own. For now, focus on your friends and enjoying life and perhaps being friendly with women without considering any dating potentials. Diffuse that shy brain-lock. Also, work on appearing 'open'. Practice that in the mirror and get your brother's opinion. You need to be approachable. Women don't mind approaching (don't confuse this with asking you out on a date) if you send out signals that you are friendly to their approach. Try some things and get back to us. Good luck
Dust Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 My advice is you can’t be your younger bros or any one else. Love yourself for who you are. Just go over and ask the girl out. If you stutter, or faint or what ever that’s fine. Just say the magic words that communicate interest to do something with her “Lets get dinner.” What ever you want to say to communicate you are asking her out. Just go over and do it and get out of your head. Don’t worry about being rejected, or annoying her, or people thinking you are a loser or what ever. That’s all in your head, you’ll be fine even if you get rejected. Just do it and stop worrying about making it perfect. People who spend all their time worrying about perfection will end up doing nothing. If you awkwardly go over and stumble through asking her out forgetting what to say and then just yelling “will you go out with ME!” she might find that cute. Even if she doesn’t find it cute you’ve given yourself a chance and doing nothing gives you no chance. You’re doing this for yourself don’t forget that so just do it. Don’t ask for advice here and use that as an excuse to delay. The time is now, motivate yourself to act now or as soon as you can. Ask her out in person if possible and do it sooner then later.
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