Abusive Txt from ex

[Chi townD]

Tell me about this trip to Ibiza. What does she mean that you're going TOGETHER?!?!

[Jimmy_Hugh]

IMO she wants you back big time Jimmy as i said in my last post.

 

You now have all the power and it's up to you what you want to do.

 

Good chance of a late night frolic in Ibiza with her methinks

 

Haha Kilty well I am just going to stay no contact I think it for the best if she really wants me back she needs to initiate that.

 

Well I don't think she will leave me alone in ibiza!!

[Jimmy_Hugh]

Tell me about this trip to Ibiza. What does she mean that you're going TOGETHER?!?!

 

I don't know why she wrote together for we not going together at all I fly out day before her with my mates.

[Kilty]

Whats the situation with this other guy that she is supposed to be with ?

 

Does he even exist or was he a one night stand or what ?

 

Are they still together ?

 

Because it seems to me that he either isnt around or in the picture the way these messages are going on.

 

Also if she was really happy with him this desparation texting wouldnt even be happening.

 

The point im trying to make is this seems a way but further on that simply trying to keep you in the friend zone with how she is persisting

[Jimmy_Hugh]

Whats the situation with this other guy that she is supposed to be with ?

 

Does he even exist or was he a one night stand or what ?

 

Are they still together ?

 

Because it seems to me that he either isnt around or in the picture the way these messages are going on.

 

Also if she was really happy with him this desparation texting wouldnt even be happening.

 

The point im trying to make is this seems a way but further on that simply trying to keep you in the friend zone with how she is persisting

 

 

This other guy I don't know to much someone from her work or something.

 

All I know of it really is that she has her and him as her facebook picture.

 

Yeah maybe but maybe not she might want the best of both I don't feel like i can be a friend with her being with another guy because how much I love her.

 

I don't want to contact because it could set me back again if it don't turn out how i want.

[Kilty]

Well i guess you will know this girl better than any of us and it's a big ask to take someone back after what has happened.

 

I am fully aware that this could all be down to guilt and she is trying to ease her conscience as well as trying to keep you on the backburner.

 

It could also be sheer selfishness in that she doesnt want to see you with other girls in Ibiza and wants to have a hold on you so you dont whilst she plays the field.

 

That is the million dollar question and only she will know.

 

However as i said before she does seem to be an emotional wreck which could negate all of the above.

 

Why doesnt she just come out and say she is sorry and wants you back ?

 

Well as i said before not everyone finds it easy to do something like that.

 

She will be fully aware now that the chances of you taking her back are virtually non existant and to say that would reverse the situations - in that the dumper becomes the dumpee - which would be another reason why she wont.

 

You have to do whats best for you though.

 

If you could take her back and would want that but it would be a big setback if thats not what she wants then it is a big dilemma.

 

I guess this wont be the end of it though.

 

Without putting your cards on the table you could simple say to her why the feck are you contacting me.

 

You were the one that ended it and went with someone else and plastered pics of you and him on FB and you want to be my freaking friend.

 

If you know anthing about relationships and care about my feelings you will leave me alone

 

Something like that

 

But i wouldnt want to be in your shoes.

 

I guess remaining in NC and seeing what else happens is the safe choice

[krifle04]

Haha, when a girl says she doesn't want to see you or to never talk to her again, it's because she wants the exact opposite. Don't give her what she wants (attention)

[JHS]

Well, I don't know whether NC is right or wrong in your situation, but what I will say is that being ignored can be pretty painful for some. Others don't mind it at all. It sounds like the text was a volatile reaction to that. I think she was trying to get any reaction from you...

[Eddie Edirol]

Well woke up this morning with a couple of txts of her again.

 

This time saying sorry I am a horrible person I just miss you

 

Then I am so sorry for how Ive been please tell me you forgive me? Were going to be in ibiza together if you see me are you going to ignore me.

 

This was sent at 1am in the morning.

 

Again i didn't respond but she not letting this be easy is she?

 

Right now she knows she is a bad person for dumping you and lying about it like she did. She wants you to forgive her so she doesnt feel guilty, its all about her. She thinks that you know she is a bad person for lying, and she cant stand it, which is why she is turning it around, also trying to lure you in. Dont fall for it, and when you see her in ibiza, you dont have to ignore her, but just say hi and walk away like youre too busy for her. Dont engage in conversation.

 

I guarantee that if she sees you she will make sure she is with/all over that guy to try to get a reaction out of you, you CANNOT fall for it. Avoid looking at her at all costs, it will drive her nuts.

 

But remember, none of this is to get her back. She broke it off with you because she gave up on the relationship, and most of the time, the 2nd time around wont be the same because she wont be able to emotionally check back in. So remember this is for you to heal, not to get her back. Its also to get your power back. It will work if you stay away from her, and she keeps reacting like this. Shes never been through this before, and it shows.

[wilsonx]

Im going to tell you all something that I did post breakup. I told my ex I forgave her. Am I still hurting now, yes very much so, and I will for the next couple months but I do not want to deal with these texts... We all make mistakes, I was the bigger person in forgiving her even though she will never apologize. I've made some mistakes myself not in this relationship but in previous ones. In the end it will help me move on better as I told her to her face. If shes happy with the guy thats 14 years older then she is, she can have him. Obviously, I will find someone better. Plus 16 days in NC has shown me how one sided this relationship was. She was an emotional drain on me, never gave me the physical security that I needed and this breakup was the best thing that happened to me. I found new friend circles, Im jogging 5 miles a day again, working on getting into a career in IT, finding someone that's more of what I want in a gf now that I know, learned a lot about myself and how not ending this relationship over a year ago was my fault, i just settled with ****. Its not about making someone else suffer, its about making you a better person and NC achieves that. Am I going to get the texts months from now, probably. Is she going to knock on my door and said I made a huge mistake in a year or so, most likely, will I be there or care? NO!

[Jimmy_Hugh]

This is going to be long.

 

Well got another txt from her.

 

But this time I didn’t ignore it txt her back saying why do you feel the need to keep contacting me. You have moved on with a new fella you must be happy with him. I have asked you to respect me and let me be but you haven’t.

 

She replied I kept contact because I have lost my friend. I just hear from everyone that your doing loads, enjoying life and moved on so I just want to see your ok.We have been through so much and I miss you so much. Im being selfish and I need to leave you alone you must have more will power than me.

 

I replied you shouldn’t need contact with me you got a new bf and obviously decided to rub that in my face putting it as as your new profile pic to rub it in. I am enjoying my life with my mates. You saying you miss me do you think that helps. Just concentrate on you and your new relationship.

 

She replied I am sorry baba Im a selfish cow at times. I really miss u. Ive even thought of going places you will be to see you but I don’t think you will talk to me. I want you to heal but I miss tlaking to you.I know you need space and time but I can’t help thinking about what you are doing. How come you have booked to go Ibiza when I go?

 

I replied I don’t understand you ended it with me you have moved on you have tried rubbing it in on your facebook. What if I had done that? U shouldn’t miss me you got a new life now why you wondering what I am doing all the time? I booked Ibiza because me and the lads had always planned to go back together.

 

She replied I sorry i did that i didn’t think I need you to know even though we are not together I am still your pudding and you are still my baba. I need to leave you be. But I am struggling. You are a much better person than me I just miss you Jim I still care about you.

 

I replied You shouldn’t be putting them thing sin a txt that is very disrespectful what is going on? You shouldn’t be struggling now u are in a relationship moved on with your feelings. Friends is never going be easy when one of us feels alot for the other that is why i have not contacted you.

 

She replied I am in a relationship and it is going well but I just want us to maybe be friends It would eb a shame for us to lose that.

 

I replied You just concentrate on your relationship it has disappoint me the lack of respect and how you tried to rub it in. Maybe friends will come but I am not ready for that which I have told you a number of times. Enjoy your Life.

 

I know this could of been a mistake me replying because it could of set me back but it hasn't one little bit I am so positive at the moment now I am straight back to no contact i was hoping she would leave me alone but once again she has txt me just as i finished work saying one last thing have you heard jessie j song nobodys perfect? it reminds me of us !!

 

Is this ever going to stop I am so glad I am so strong now!!

[poorguy]

I just noticed your thread Jimmy. I think your responses were just fine given the situation. I hav'nt read the entire thread, but I know exactly what shes doing and its a combination of things.

First off she wants emotional support from you while she is in the development stage of her new relationship. Basically she has the new thing and is trying to use the old thing to solidify her new relationship...crazy I know, but thats what selfish immature people do.

 

Second thing she's trying to do at your expense of course, not hers, only yours, is slowly get over you by having contact while having a new guy. You see by her doing this shes trying to alleviate any and all remaining guilt she may have

 

All and all from what I did read you have handled this all perfectly and will be stronger for it as time goes on. Her on the other hand is eventually going to spiral into a can of trash and wonder why/how she got there...not your job to help her figure that out!!!

 

P.s. She sounds like an attention w_ore....those are the most emotionally dangerous woman out there

[Kilty]

Now you are in short time contact - Reply this one time only

 

do you want back with me - YES OR NO ?

 

 

If the answer is no then your reply is

 

WELL FFS LEAVE ME ALONE AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE

 

 

If the answer if yes then Houston we have a problem

 

At least now with doing this you can on her response put a line on it once and for all and go complete NC with no doubts or regrets

 

You know it makes sense

 

Deep breath and do it

 

You have a chance of closure that most of us dont

 

Use this opportunity now

 

It might set you back a little but you have Ibiza to get it out your system - which again most of us dont

[Jimmy_Hugh]

I just noticed your thread Jimmy. I think your responses were just fine given the situation. I hav'nt read the entire thread, but I know exactly what shes doing and its a combination of things.

First off she wants emotional support from you while she is in the development stage of her new relationship. Basically she has the new thing and is trying to use the old thing to solidify her new relationship...crazy I know, but thats what selfish immature people do.

 

Second thing she's trying to do at your expense of course, not hers, only yours, is slowly get over you by having contact while having a new guy. You see by her doing this shes trying to alleviate any and all remaining guilt she may have

 

All and all from what I did read you have handled this all perfectly and will be stronger for it as time goes on. Her on the other hand is eventually going to spiral into a can of trash and wonder why/how she got there...not your job to help her figure that out!!!

 

P.s. She sounds like an attention w_ore....those are the most emotionally dangerous woman out there

 

Thank you poorguy I am very happy at moment and she can't change that I know she hasn't got a clue wat is going on in her head but that isnt my problem.

 

I really just hope she leaves me alone but I doubt that is going to happen.

[Jimmy_Hugh]

Now you are in short time contact - Reply this one time only

 

do you want back with me - YES OR NO ?

 

 

If the answer is no then your reply is

 

WELL FFS LEAVE ME ALONE AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE

 

 

If the answer if yes then Houston we have a problem

 

At least now with doing this you can on her response put a line on it once and for all and go complete NC with no doubts or regrets

 

You know it makes sense

 

Deep breath and do it

 

You have a chance of closure that most of us dont

 

Use this opportunity now

 

It might set you back a little but you have Ibiza to get it out your system - which again most of us dont

 

 

You think so if she does say no I dont think i will be to bothered now i have feelings but I don't think they are as strong as they was.

[Kilty]

You think so if she does say no I dont think i will be to bothered now i have feelings but I don't think they are as strong as they was.

 

Well you got nothing to be bothered about

 

I might be wide of the mark but i doubt you will get a no answer - not at this moment in time.

 

You may not get a yes either - more likely to be somewhere in the middle if her head is up her backside which it clearly appears to be

 

Either way you can gave her this kind of mini ultimatum - and anything other than a yes lets you respond with the FFS leave me alone then ya muppet line

 

I doubt if you couldnt feel any worse after her contact today anyway.

 

Do this then draw a line under it mate

 

Her response might surprise you and if it doesnt it is what you and everyone else on here bar me is expecting !

[Chi townD]

I think you focused WAY TOO MUCH on the fact that she has a new boyfriend. Showed her that you are extremely upset of that fact. If she contacts you again you could just tell her, "Look, you dumped me. You made a choice to have me out of your life and now I'm giving you EXACTLY what you asked for."

 

Is she going to Izbia with her new boy toy? If so, then one more reason to avoid her at all costs.

[Jimmy_Hugh]

Well you got nothing to be bothered about

 

I might be wide of the mark but i doubt you will get a no answer - not at this moment in time.

 

You may not get a yes either - more likely to be somewhere in the middle if her head is up her backside which it clearly appears to be

 

Either way you can gave her this kind of mini ultimatum - and anything other than a yes lets you respond with the FFS leave me alone then ya muppet line

 

I doubt if you couldnt feel any worse after her contact today anyway.

 

Do this then draw a line under it mate

 

Her response might surprise you and if it doesnt it is what you and everyone else on here bar me is expecting !

 

 

Well I done what you said and dint get a yes or no. Just i want your friendship i miss our giggles. Im not perfect and i have let you down. I am happier now but I miss you kept being said by her!!

[Kilty]

Well you now know the reply to send her Jimmy Boy

 

" Well sugar - i have given you the chance - i am moving on so do the decent thing and leave me alone and move on with your life too. No more contact please.

 

And thats it Jimmy

 

Still think you will have a wee whoop de doo with her in Ibiza right enough

 

By the sounds of it she is an emotional, needy wreck.

 

Im just jesting about Ibiza - meet someone nice and much better. it wont be hard bud

 

Oh and ps - spare a thought for her new man (if he is still on the scene).

 

Poor guy

[Jimmy_Hugh]

Well you now know the reply to send her Jimmy Boy

 

" Well sugar - i have given you the chance - i am moving on so do the decent thing and leave me alone and move on with your life too. No more contact please.

 

And thats it Jimmy

 

Still think you will have a wee whoop de doo with her in Ibiza right enough

 

By the sounds of it she is an emotional, needy wreck.

 

Im just jesting about Ibiza - meet someone nice and much better. it wont be hard bud

 

Oh and ps - spare a thought for her new man (if he is still on the scene).

 

Poor guy

 

 

Yeah I replied well glad you are happier now so concentrate on that I want to move on with my life like you have moved on with yours please leave me be!!

 

Do you think she will leave me be?

[Kilty]

If she doesnt then she is a selfish, inconsiderate cabbage.

 

You have given her the chance - she has not taken it up - so any other ex partner would let go.

 

As i said before she appeared to be acting as a dumpee.

 

Anything else from her other than "i want another chance" at this point would make her what everyone else has said about her.

 

I doubt she will back off though in the short term so just stick to your guns now Jimmy.

 

No need for any doubts or regrets

[Jimmy_Hugh]

If she doesnt then she is a selfish, inconsiderate cabbage.

 

You have given her the chance - she has not taken it up - so any other ex partner would let go.

 

As i said before she appeared to be acting as a dumpee.

 

Anything else from her other than "i want another chance" at this point would make her what everyone else has said about her.

 

I doubt she will back off though in the short term so just stick to your guns now Jimmy.

 

No need for any doubts or regrets

 

Yeah I am mate I am much more positive even when she said she is much happier I didnt care at all so something has changed. I am just enjoying myself now!!

[Kilty]

Plus her actions dont exactly reek of someone that is much happier