Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Well it my Birthday today no contact has been going well and I am gradually getting happier by keeping busy. Get a message from my ex wishing me happy birthday but trying to indulge in a conversation I ignored it and stayed no contact (felt bit harsh but it is what is right for me). But then just leaving work and get a abusive txt message!1 Id never thought i would say this about you - your are a twat!!!! I have tried to be nice to you and all you have done is put your fingers up to me and told me to **** off (all i done was no contact) I know were both seeing other people but jesus grow up!! ( I ain't seeing anyone just enjoying myself and time with mates she the one who got new fella and I have just asked for time to myself so I can move on) I thought we was going to be grown up and remain friends (i asked for space so this maybe could of happened) Looks like you dont give a **** now and are happy not speaking to me. Well thats fine - stay out of my way in ibiza because right now you are the last person I ever want to see!! (we going to ibiza at same time) Man all I wanted is time and space so maybe one day we could be mates!! Wat do you think about this?
Surf Rider Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Well it my Birthday today no contact has been going well and I am gradually getting happier by keeping busy. Get a message from my ex wishing me happy birthday but trying to indulge in a conversation I ignored it and stayed no contact (felt bit harsh but it is what is right for me). But then just leaving work and get a abusive txt message!1 Id never thought i would say this about you - your are a twat!!!! I have tried to be nice to you and all you have done is put your fingers up to me and told me to **** off (all i done was no contact) I know were both seeing other people but jesus grow up!! ( I ain't seeing anyone just enjoying myself and time with mates she the one who got new fella and I have just asked for time to myself so I can move on) I thought we was going to be grown up and remain friends (i asked for space so this maybe could of happened) Looks like you dont give a **** now and are happy not speaking to me. Well thats fine - stay out of my way in ibiza because right now you are the last person I ever want to see!! (we going to ibiza at same time) Man all I wanted is time and space so maybe one day we could be mates!! Wat do you think about this? She needs to get a life. That's what i think. Yeah my ex sent me a text message day after she left me saying a bunch of bologna about me and my parents. I ignored her. That's what she deserves. You deserve better man. Good luck.
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Definatly mate staying strong no contact is best thing I have done don't know what is going on with her.
Mack05 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Definatly mate staying strong no contact is best thing I have done don't know what is going on with her. Trust me mate stay NC. Rise above it
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 She's so frustrated that you're not paying attention to her that she's coming at you guns a blazing hoping that you'll now react with her ultimatums. Stay NC. She's a piece of work. You're doing great. Keep moving forward.
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 yeah definatly mate I know she wants a reaction but she aint getting one. Don't know why she doing it she got a new fella and everything now can't have the best of everything!!
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 She's so frustrated that you're not paying attention to her that she's coming at you guns a blazing hoping that you'll now react with her ultimatums. Stay NC. She's a piece of work. You're doing great. Keep moving forward. Thank you geegirl yes I am getting much happier just got laods planned with good mates and gym has helped so much!! So has this site otherwise I would be doing the wrong thing no contact all the way!!
Kilty Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Ive checked back your posts Jimmy and i cant really see any that describe the reasons behind the break up - only that she ended it and has now got a new boyfriend. Maybe it would be a help so we can judge why this girl has been contacting you repeatedly. From what you have told so far though it appears this girl cares a bit more than she is admitting. Sure we can guess that she is trying to keep you on the back burner sort of thing but it would help if you could give a bit more info as to why your relationship ended.
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Oh! Most importantly, happy birthday!! It's a new beginning. Leave the negativity behind and celebrate the coming of good things!!
Mack05 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Oh! Most importantly, happy birthday!! It's a new beginning. Leave the negativity behind and celebrate the coming of good things!! Happy birthday Jimmy and Happy 4th of July Gee Both have a beer for me
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Ive checked back your posts Jimmy and i cant really see any that describe the reasons behind the break up - only that she ended it and has now got a new boyfriend. Maybe it would be a help so we can judge why this girl has been contacting you repeatedly. From what you have told so far though it appears this girl cares a bit more than she is admitting. Sure we can guess that she is trying to keep you on the back burner sort of thing but it would help if you could give a bit more info as to why your relationship ended. Hey Kilty well she ended it one day saying she wasn't happy that scenario of she loves me but not in love with me!! I have looked into it myself and when I look back it wasn't going brilliant I made mistakes biggest one working to much and not giving enough time. Maybe it was running its cause but it was a sudden ending and did shock me. And thanks guys for the birthday wishes defo stay positive it is hard but things get better good mates is a big help.
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Happy birthday Jimmy and Happy 4th of July Gee Both have a beer for me Thanks Mack! I'm pigging on hotdogs and on beer #2! I'll have a third for you!
Kilty Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 That does seem quite a sudden ending. If you had been fighting and breaking up repeatedly then that wouldnt be uncommon. But normally at least one of the parties tries to work things out or at least talk about things. However there is not much you can say to the "i love you but i'm not in love with you line". Normally i would suggest otherwise but in this situation i get the feeling that this girl has had a slight touch of the grass is greener syndrome, and due to the way you have handled the break up by accepting it and going into NC then she is now and has been having regrets. The reason for this is in the tone of her texts. It is clear from them that she definitely cares and it is her emotions that are making her give out the abuse. Normally this would be something that a dumpee would do to a dumper after repeated attempts at reconciliation fail and their emotions take over. However you have kind of turned the situation around in that although you are the dumpee by initiating no contact you have gained back the power. It really all depends now how you feel about this girl and whether you want another chance and whether her being with someone else has ended any chance of reconciliation. Because i would put my money on her wanting that and that has been the reason for the repeated contact. Sure she could have been keeping you on the backburner in the beginning but her emotions at this point now show that she truly believes there is not a chance of getting back with you and has panicked. You really need to lay it on this girl if you do and leave her in no doubt that she is out of order for continually contacting you. You inform her that you have no interest in being just friends because of what you shared so its up to her what she wants and if there is anything she wants to say then to say it now or forever hold her peace. By the way this goes against the grain of what i would normally advise so ive got my tin hat on awaiting everyone else telling me im talking pish
Eddie Edirol Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 yeah definatly mate I know she wants a reaction but she aint getting one. Don't know why she doing it she got a new fella and everything now can't have the best of everything!! I know why. She is feeling rejected, because she thinks you dont need her. This translates tio her that you NEVER needed her. She needs to hear from you because she wants to gt over her quicker, but this is what happens when you cut anyone off cold turkey. Also the last time she was dumped she probably didnt do what you did. She might have chased the guy, being needy, crying, cant do without hearing from him. So she is wondering why you dont need to hear from her, and its driving her nuts. Youre doing great! keep it up, let her think what she wants. She has a new guy, and he isnt sweeping her off her feet which is why she is still looking for you for companionship (nothing more). She needs to make you feel as bad as she does, thats why shes spewing all that shyt. So instead of you chasing her after the breakup, giving her the ego boost she needs to move on, you gave her the ol'Heave Ho, giving her the opposite effect. Its fantastic, what she deserves, and use it to help you get over her faster.
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 That does seem quite a sudden ending. If you had been fighting and breaking up repeatedly then that wouldnt be uncommon. But normally at least one of the parties tries to work things out or at least talk about things. However there is not much you can say to the "i love you but i'm not in love with you line". Normally i would suggest otherwise but in this situation i get the feeling that this girl has had a slight touch of the grass is greener syndrome, and due to the way you have handled the break up by accepting it and going into NC then she is now and has been having regrets. The reason for this is in the tone of her texts. It is clear from them that she definitely cares and it is her emotions that are making her give out the abuse. Normally this would be something that a dumpee would do to a dumper after repeated attempts at reconciliation fail and their emotions take over. However you have kind of turned the situation around in that although you are the dumpee by initiating no contact you have gained back the power. It really all depends now how you feel about this girl and whether you want another chance and whether her being with someone else has ended any chance of reconciliation. Because i would put my money on her wanting that and that has been the reason for the repeated contact. Sure she could have been keeping you on the backburner in the beginning but her emotions at this point now show that she truly believes there is not a chance of getting back with you and has panicked. You really need to lay it on this girl if you do and leave her in no doubt that she is out of order for continually contacting you. You inform her that you have no interest in being just friends because of what you shared so its up to her what she wants and if there is anything she wants to say then to say it now or forever hold her peace. By the way this goes against the grain of what i would normally advise so ive got my tin hat on awaiting everyone else telling me im talking pish Hey Kilty thanks yes it was sudden I would say the relationship wasn't as fun as it had been but all relationships have a purple patchy we properly could of worked at it. I will always love this girl and care for her. I was shocked at her getting with another man so quickly but that is her choice. I just wanted my space so I could heal but she hasn't gave me that if she had everything could be fine. I don't know where I am now because I still have alot of feelings for her but don't know if I want her back. Is contacting her going to be any good for me surely if she wanted me back so much she should say.
dng Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Seriously, whatever. Again: whatever. She's just a spoiled kid crying and spitting over a pair of boots she can't get. Ignore her forever, she left you and got what she wanted. Save yourself. My current ex left me as well, then 10 months later I wouldnt see her or talk to her, and told her she meant nothing to me and to leave me alone, she said I would come to regret it one day, she had loved me more than anything and so on. She's baiting you, will you fall into her bottomless trap?
Eddie Edirol Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I like what Kilty said too, she wanted you to be her safety net, and you killed that, and shes panicking. Doesnt mean she wants to get back with you, its just a way to avoid closing the door so she has a choice. She is panicking that you too her choices away. Good job. Let her keep texting you to panic, use it to make you feel better. if that dont help, go ahead and tell her to leave you alone.
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Yeah defo staying no contact she trying to get the best of everything in my eyes. i know I havent been a twat I am trying to look after myself now and heal. I would have alot more respect if it was other way round.
Kilty Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Not everyone can lay their cards on the table and open themselves up by telling someone how they feel. She could have been trying to feel you out to see if you were receptive. Only you will know whats best for you bud but in my opinion you could kill two birds with the one stone by asking her what is really behind her contacting you considering you cant be friends in the circumstances AND if its not reconciliation (not that you would automatically be agreeable) then to leave you alone for good.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 She could have been trying to feel you out to see if you were receptive. Only you will know whats best for you bud but in my opinion you could kill two birds with the one stone by asking her what is really behind her contacting you considering you cant be friends in the circumstances AND if its not reconciliation (not that you would automatically be agreeable) then to leave you alone for good. She wont tell him why if he asks. She already gave up on the relationship. she just wants his company now. She now knows he doesnt take her shyt, wont tell him anything that will cause him to cut her off and reject her again. If someone told you they were contacting you just so they could be friends, and they dont care that you are heartbroken, they just need to keep talking to you so they dont feel guilty, and the breakup was ok with you, would you keep talking to them?
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I aint responding to her no need leave her to it now she can't have everything like she wants!!
TheHurtProcess Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Happy Birthday Jimmy. NC is the best present you could possibly give yourself right now. Just think about how crappy she's actually feeling right now, especially because she's not responding to you. Her poor choice of words is really her saying that she's sad that you aren't responding to her and only wishes you would so. Perhaps he'll respond to my s**t talking. Keep up the good work. I'm proud of you. You're definitely an inspiration to all those who tend to break NC over and over again.
Author Jimmy_Hugh Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 Well woke up this morning with a couple of txts of her again. This time saying sorry I am a horrible person I just miss you Then I am so sorry for how Ive been please tell me you forgive me? Were going to be in ibiza together if you see me are you going to ignore me. This was sent at 1am in the morning. Again i didn't respond but she not letting this be easy is she?
ShoeGurl1973 Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 She's doing what my bf did to me after he broke up and was insulting and nasty. They try to use reverse psychology on you when they start saying things like " I failed, Im such a bad person, I shoudl have tried harder" etc etc. They're wanting you to turn around and placate them, "Oh its not your fault, no, you're not a bad person". DONT FALL FOR IT. It took me a long time before I saw this pattern with my ex - anytime I had a problem with him and confronted him, he'd turn me into the consoler by saying "im such a bad person" and things of this nature. I feel so stupid looking back on it. argh...be smarter than I was.
Kilty Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 IMO she wants you back big time Jimmy as i said in my last post. You now have all the power and it's up to you what you want to do. Good chance of a late night frolic in Ibiza with her methinks
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