Cupiddd86 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Hi All, So recently I've been getting closer and closer with my ex girlfriend. We broke up on so-so terms; she was pretty pissed off when she dumped me but she calmed down and was the first to contact me. Currently the last phew weeks she's been warming up a lot; flirting a lot with me and actively seeking me out. Sending me goodnight messages; or just poking me randomly during the day. But; at the same time at some times she's just a bit cold and really just wants to know something. Example: she bought an iphone and had a question about it) When I answered her question and wanted to talk to her about us she suddenly became unresponsive. (she did mention she was rly tired beforehand but still a bit odd to me) We've had a pretty good conversation on where this was heading and she told me that she really loves being around me.. and she really feels good with me but she's not sure if she is willing to risk it. She's not one to play around from what I know. I'm just wondering, she is actively seeking me out; day to day almost. But what does she really want? Hope you can give me some insight on it Thanks a lot in advance!!!
wilsonx Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Hi All, So recently I've been getting closer and closer with my ex girlfriend. We broke up on so-so terms; she was pretty pissed off when she dumped me but she calmed down and was the first to contact me. Currently the last phew weeks she's been warming up a lot; flirting a lot with me and actively seeking me out. Sending me goodnight messages; or just poking me randomly during the day. But; at the same time at some times she's just a bit cold and really just wants to know something. Example: she bought an iphone and had a question about it) When I answered her question and wanted to talk to her about us she suddenly became unresponsive. (she did mention she was rly tired beforehand but still a bit odd to me) We've had a pretty good conversation on where this was heading and she told me that she really loves being around me.. and she really feels good with me but she's not sure if she is willing to risk it. She's not one to play around from what I know. I'm just wondering, she is actively seeking me out; day to day almost. But what does she really want? Hope you can give me some insight on it Thanks a lot in advance!!! To be your friend and thats it
Author Cupiddd86 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I wanted to edit this into my post but couldn't for some weird reason: If it's only to be my friend why has she been flirting with me so much? She also brought up going on holidays with me and even discussed living together with me. She even went as far as telling her dad that I was telling her to live with me and he told her that it would be good. I mean that doesn't really sound like just being friends. She has also been waking me up on the weekends almost every weekend just to talk before going to work.. Saying she's just too tempted not too.. Is that really wanting to be friends?
carhill Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Considering the parameters of the breakup and general relationship circumstances, as outlined in this thread, my instinct is that she is attention seeking. I got a princessy vibe from the linked thread. My advice would be to remain distantly cordial and seek out other potentials locally.
Author Cupiddd86 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Actually I went into low contact after that thread and within 2 weeks she actually came back telling me she made a mistake and wanted me back. However we had a huge arguement and the relationship fell apart a month after. When she wanted me back; I wasn't really myself anymore.. I didn't trust her and I just couldn't be me. Now however after the break up and a month of no contact I started being me again (crazy as it sounds) and it seems that attracted her back.
wilsonx Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I wanted to edit this into my post but couldn't for some weird reason: If it's only to be my friend why has she been flirting with me so much? She also brought up going on holidays with me and even discussed living together with me. She even went as far as telling her dad that I was telling her to live with me and he told her that it would be good. I mean that doesn't really sound like just being friends. She has also been waking me up on the weekends almost every weekend just to talk before going to work.. Saying she's just too tempted not too.. Is that really wanting to be friends? Shes saying this to you to string you along in the friendship, telling you things you want to hear. Once you have been through a few breakups, you will see this is a pattern. You can laugh at them when they start. My ex told me the very last night she lived with me that we should be friends and I laughed in her face and she got super mad(this was of course after I screwed her brains out). Really really mad and said she should have kept it to herself.
carhill Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Question: If you are NC, how would she know that you 'started to be me again'? Heck, when my exW and I were divorcing and were NC, she didn't even know my mom had died, much less any changes to my psyche. When I read your other thread, I was asking myself 'why would I even care?' Perhaps that's the difference between young and old, IDK. If find princessy types tedious and boring, but they do hold a drama card, I'll give you that, and for some that's attractive. I fell victim to that a couple times when young. You'll work it out.
Author Cupiddd86 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Posted July 11, 2011 Actually Carhill I might've phrased it a bit wrongly there. What basically happened is that for some time we went without contact. But then at some she gradually started talking to me again; and from there on she noticed I wasn't the same as I was after the first break up. I was confident, relaxed, funny; the guy she fell in love with, not the shattered guy without confidence or trust that wanted her back at all costs when we tried the first time. So I had a long talk with her this weekend. Asking her what she wants; and is expecting from this. At first she was trying to dodge the subject a little, asking me what she should wear for going out. But when I steered the conversation back to 'us' it went pretty smooth. She told me a lot but the main points were that she really wants to be with me and near me (LDR) but she also has her life there and is currently pretty happy with whats going on in her life there. So she told me it's a really hard choice to make but one she will eventually have to make. Besides that she told me she does want to try again with me, but for some reason she felt the need to add that from her experience when a glass is broken; it stays broken. I didn't quite get that one. So what i'm wondering now is; I'm actually quite happy with the fact that she wants to try again but she still seems to be a bit closed off. She's not like she used to; with that I mean chatting my ears of my head and poking me on skype whenever she can. She seems to be 'occupied' a lot and answers take some time. She also isn't showing any affection but I guess since it's 3 days since that talk maybe she just needs some time? Also i'm wondering why she told me she really wants to be with me and closer; but at the same time told me the broken glass metaphor. When I replied on it; so if 'us' can't be fixed why do you want to give it a try? But she just got pissed off.. So any thoughts? I mean why is she still cold? Just needs time? And why did she get pissed off when she mentioned it can't be fixed? Thanks in advance! Ps Yeh she's kind of a princess but besides that she has a lot of good sides
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