banan Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 My ex and I broke up 6 weeks ago following a 2 week 'break'. We'd been together a year... Our relationship was one which everyone desired. We never argued, we were honest and got on so well. The last 4 weeks of our relationship were going down hill... i went through depression from work related issues and he couldn't handle it. I cried allot and went on anti-depressents...He did not know how to comfort me...so...he thought a break would do us some good... ...the two week break was hard but he reasurred me we were fine. on the last day of our break, he rang me in the morning and broke up with me! 4 days later, I went over to his house with his things and let myself in as noone answered the door. I found another girl in his bed!!... This 'new' girl and him are now in a relationship together on FB!! He is going on holiday with her next week... I heard from friends that she is moving in with him in September and that they plan to settle down. She is 9 years younger than him (he's 31, she's 22) I was going through depression and that's why we broke up... Ever since the break up he has been cold and patronising. When I cried to him he would tell me he doesn't love me etc etc... telling me to move on...etc etc... We went to Glastonbury last week and I bumped into him... we got on and had a laugh... he also told me that he's thought about me allot and imagined my face in the crowd...He also got jealous when he saw me dancing with another man... ...He has now got in touch asking for a pair of sunglasses back. ...I have ignored him as everytime i speak to him he makes me feel terrible... he's now sending me messages saying:- 'why are you ignoring me?!' I suppose the questions I ask: Do you think i should continue to ignore him? Do you think he's really moved on? Is his new gf a rebound??
wilsonx Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) ...He has now got in touch asking for a pair of sunglasses back. ...I have ignored him as everytime i speak to him he makes me feel terrible... he's now sending me messages saying:- 'why are you ignoring me?!' I suppose the questions I ask: Do you think i should continue to ignore him? Do you think he's really moved on? Is his new gf a rebound?? You have to and I mean have to walk away from this. Right now you have to heal from the emotional damage he caused you and the more you are in contact with him, the more pain its going to cause you down the road. I talked to my ex for 3 weeks after my breakup and I was miserable. She was stringing me along as a back up plan and I knew better but I couldn't stop it until 15 days ago, I said enough is enough. You should ignore him, exit from his life completely. He dumped you for another girl. Do you really want to be that other girl's rebound? Yes he has moved on, hes in a relationship with someone else. It does not matter how short or how long it is and it does not matter if its a rebound. The fact is he left you and you need to be strong and leave him and dont allow him back in your life. No matter what he says. If he does come back to you apologizing and saying Im so sorry I made a huge mistake I want to make this work, thats the ONLY time you should ever break NC. I want you to think about this, if it happened once from him I will assure you it will happen again. Edited July 4, 2011 by wilsonx
Mack05 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 It always hurts a lot when we love someone (even put them on a pedestal) and they turn out not to be the people we expected and hoped. We can have special connections with people in our lives, but it's the people that are a rock for us when we are down, when are not at our best, these are the people who will always be special to us. Sadly this guy will never have the kind of character and back bone you should be looking for in a man. You deserve someone so much better. Be thankful you weren't at your best, so you could see his real character. The kind of person he really is behind the facade. I think you have had a very lucky escape and I would never make any attempt to talk to him again. Instead find yourself a real man, not a coward who runs at the first sign of trouble. It's impossible to rely on a 'man' like that..
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 As a woman, I am going to second Mack's advice. My ex bolted the moment I fell sick. And it was only temporary. You want a partner or man in your case that's going to stick by you through thick and thin and not run when the going gets tough. Because at some point, when things go awry, he will most likely do it again. ps: Mack, you'll make some girl really lucky one day!
nini Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 As a woman, I am going to second Mack's advice. My ex bolted the moment I fell sick. And it was only temporary. You want a partner or man in your case that's going to stick by you through thick and thin and not run when the going gets tough. Because at some point, when things go awry, he will most likely do it again. ps: Mack, you'll make some girl really lucky one day! I agree
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Days when I lose faith in men day in and day out and it almost seems that they're all like my ex, I come here and read posts like Mack's and it reassures me that there are men out there that are sensitive, emotionally in touch, self aware, kind, strong in character, etc. It's what we all deserve.
samm84 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 he's now sending me messages saying:- 'why are you ignoring me?!' After you discovered another woman in his bed? How can he be so ignorant as to think he deserves any more contact than you've given him! It's going to be tough being able to tell if he has moved on. In my opinion I think he has, it's only natural that he would be jealous seeing you with another man. You've handled this extremely well! Carry on getting over him.
Author banan Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 Thank you so much for all of your support. I have read and re-read everything that everyone has said. I had another message from him this morning after I ignored all of his messages... These are the msgs he has sent me: Sunday - 'can we meet up today so i can pick up my sunglasses?' Monday - '?' Monday - 'Hannah, Are you ignoring me?' Today - '[COLOR=#000080][FONT=Arial]Keep the glasses, I don’t want them anyway, if you’re gonna just ignore me!! Cheers, have it your way… you won’t hear from me again!’[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080][FONT=Arial]It's like he is now bullying me into replying... what do you think? Shall I continue to ignore him??[/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000080][/COLOR][/FONT]
Author banan Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 Thank you so much for all of your support. I have read and re-read everything that everyone has said. I had another message from him this morning after I ignored all of his messages... These are the msgs he has sent me: Sunday - 'can we meet up today so i can pick up my sunglasses?' Monday - '?' Monday - 'Hannah, Are you ignoring me?' Today - 'Keep the glasses, I don’t want them anyway, if you’re gonna just ignore me!! Cheers, have it your way… you won’t hear from me again!’ It's like he is now bullying me into replying... what do you think? Shall I continue to ignore him??
TeeStar Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Yes, continue to ignore him. You deserve much better than that. (He was the one that suggested "a break" then he dumped you when you weren't well & four days later is in a new relationship) I know it's hard & takes time to move on but chin up & keep at it
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