PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 After the date these are two things that has me believing I probably won't see her again 1. When waiting wth her for the bus to take her to the train station she said-"You don't have to wait with me until the bus comes" 2. She said she would call to let me know when she arrives home and I have yet to hear from her There are two things that has me confused. She has deleted me from her friends list on Facebook but there was a message she posted a couple hours fter the date that said-"Some people have nerve" Now I don't know if that was about me since it was posted 3 hours after our date.
thehead Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 So, what went wrong? Because I agree with you, you likely won't hear from her again.
Author PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 So, what went wrong? Because I agree with you, you likely won't hear from her again. Well maybe it had something to do with me not mentioning I was chunky and had thininning hair-lol I never bring that up before meeting someone. All I said that I was tall and stood at 6 foot 6. But normally my face and height overshadows my weight and hair but Iguess not yesterday. It didn't seem to bother the girl I was on 3rd date with friday night. Oh well
oaks Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Now I don't know if that was about me since it was posted 3 hours after our date. Does it matter? She deleted you on Facebook, so whether it's about you or not you should forget her and move on. Sorry your date didn't work out.
Eeyore79 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Given that she was keen for you to leave (didn't want you to wait for the bus), didn't call you when she arrived home, and deleted you on Facebook, I'd say she's not planning on seeing you again. The Facebook comment "Some people have nerve" posted right after your date suggests to me that perhaps she thought it was a little cheeky to arrange a date with someone and not disclose potential deal breakers like weight and hair loss. I'd also be a little annoyed if someone wasted my time like that; honesty is always the best policy.
alexlakeman Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Does it matter? She deleted you on Facebook, so whether it's about you or not you should forget her and move on. Sorry your date didn't work out. LOL, some people don't have a clue.. When you end a first date, you know if there's chemistry or not; it's black and white.. She didn't call him, she deleted the FB, he didn't call or text her afterwards to make sure she made it home ok...next.. Well maybe it had something to do with me not mentioning I was chunky and had thininning hair-lol I never bring that up before meeting someone . I am glad it happened. You are the typical guy online women fear; pics say one thing, then in person it's something else, you suddenly age 5 years and gain 20 pounds from the pictures; hoping "she'll oversee the fattiness, bald head, etc... But, thank you, thanks to all you guys (AND WOMEN DO IT TOO) who post pics from 2 yrs ago and 20 lbs lighter, lol... Now I see why "online dating doesn't work for you".. Have you tried a gym and / or posting pics that are current? hmmm, now there's a thought
alexlakeman Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) By the way, just as an example, this is how pictures and online dating WORKS: I am seeing this woman for 2-4 weeks now that I met online... and her comment was completely the opposite: I quote her text " Apparently I was hooked by your pictures, and in person it was much, much better"! .. Not "the pics didn't match". G The Facebook comment "Some people have nerve" posted right after your date suggests to me that perhaps she thought it was a little cheeky to arrange a date with someone and not disclose potential deal breakers like weight and hair loss. I'd also be a little annoyed if someone wasted my time like that; honesty is always the best policy. Hmm, that's what I said!! LOL, now there's a concept, "post pics that are current!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We found out why online dating doesn't work for 50% of the users, lol... I'm writting a book on online dating; Rule #1 - post current pics Rule #2 - post current pics Rule #3 - post current pics Edited July 4, 2011 by alexlakeman
oaks Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Rule #1 - post current pics The last 3 women I dated made a point of mentioning, unprompted, that I do look like my photos. I thought this was a bit strange, but I guess they were used to experiencing the opposite.
sm1tten Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I have never had this happen to me, so far, knock on wood, but I am so puzzled by it. Do you really think we're not going to notice these things? I definitely think I look better in the flesh than in the pixel, but you can get a pretty good idea of what I look like from my pictures... I don't like surprises, neither do my dates.
alexlakeman Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 OP? Comments? Thoughts? Put it this way; the last paragraph in my profile I have this comment : "My pics are current; all within the last 12 months; so when you meet me I promise I didn't age ten years and gain 20 pounds over night, :-)"
Star Gazer Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 OP? Comments? Thoughts? Put it this way; the last paragraph in my profile I have this comment : "My pics are current; all within the last 12 months; so when you meet me I promise I didn't age ten years and gain 20 pounds over night, :-)" 12 months isn't current. And 20 pounds isn't the concern. 20 pounds on a tall guy doesn't make him chunky. 40-50 does.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Dude, if you know women are attracted to you when you look less chunky, why dont you work on losing weight? ANd you can shave your hair and make it look good, if you try.
Author PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I said she has not deleted me yet from her facebook. Ad the statement she made on there aout some people have nerve was 3 hours after the date ended. Anything about me would have been as soon as she got on the train which was a 40 min ride. So it obviously has some other drama going on. I will wait until tomorrow to send a text
thehead Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Well maybe it had something to do with me not mentioning I was chunky and had thininning hair-lol I never bring that up before meeting someone. All I said that I was tall and stood at 6 foot 6. But normally my face and height overshadows my weight and hair but Iguess not yesterday. It didn't seem to bother the girl I was on 3rd date with friday night. Oh well LOL...dude, why do that to yourself? What do you except?! That's funny as hell though.
Author PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 My pics were current enough, August of 2010. Haven't taken any 2011 pics yet. And the thinning hair is not revealed on my photos and why would they be if I'm trying to ATTRACT people? The purpose of avertising to to highlight your best features and not give any mention to your less attractive features. If I revealed everything in my ad about the wea physical points I would never get a date. But this was the first time this year that I met a woman and my height and face didn't overshadow my weight and hair. The previous 5 women I met for the first time was not bothered
Author PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 LOL...dude, why do that to yourself? What do you except?! That's funny as hell though. I don't think she asked me to go into detail about my weight so we never discussed it. And far as the thinnning hair, since i have GOOD CURLY HAIR, i felt that the style of my hair makes the thinnining a minor issue.
thehead Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Right on. Hope she responds to your text but it doesn't sound like it will kill you if she doesn't.
nyc_guy2003 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Agree with the other posters, your list needs to be revised to: 1) Deleted you off of facebook 3 hours after your date. No 2) or 3) needed for you to get the point.
thehead Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I don't think she asked me to go into detail about my weight so we never discussed it. And far as the thinnning hair, since i have GOOD CURLY HAIR, i felt that the style of my hair makes the thinnining a minor issue. A buddy of mine started losing his hair prematurely in his 20s. He uses Dermmatch. It looks natural. Check it out if you care.
DontWorryBHappy Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 PhillyDude, I disagree with you completely. If you have thinning hair and are chunky, etc, is it in my opinion the same as withholding information if you do NOT show these features in your pictures. It's the same thing as women who try to post a perfectly angled photo of themselves from the neck up, omitting the rest, because they dont want to show that they are heavy. The point of this is not to just "get a date". It's to show people who you really are, INCLUDING physical attributes that you are worried with. You may THINK that those other women were not bothered by it, but you dont actually know that. Even if they SAID they werent bothered, they may not have been honest with you. It would be ballsy for a girl to come out and say "your weight and thinning hair is bothersome." They would just tell you it isnt working out, and would probably cite other reasons. Point is, I believe if you show the thinning hair and weight in your profile you MAY get less dates.... but any dates you do get will be much more likely to pan out into an actual relationship.
Author PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Agree with the other posters, your list needs to be revised to: 1) Deleted you off of facebook 3 hours after your date. No 2) or 3) needed for you to get the point. a person does not appear in your status updates when u are still on their facebook friend list
Author PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 PhillyDude, I disagree with you completely. If you have thinning hair and are chunky, etc, is it in my opinion the same as withholding information if you do NOT show these features in your pictures. It's the same thing as women who try to post a perfectly angled photo of themselves from the neck up, omitting the rest, because they dont want to show that they are heavy. The point of this is not to just "get a date". It's to show people who you really are, INCLUDING physical attributes that you are worried with. You may THINK that those other women were not bothered by it, but you dont actually know that. Even if they SAID they werent bothered, they may not have been honest with you. It would be ballsy for a girl to come out and say "your weight and thinning hair is bothersome." They would just tell you it isnt working out, and would probably cite other reasons. Point is, I believe if you show the thinning hair and weight in your profile you MAY get less dates.... but any dates you do get will be much more likely to pan out into an actual relationship. Well a woman doesn't keep calling you and asking you out if she was BOTHERED by something about your physical appearance.
nyc_guy2003 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 a person does not appear in your status updates when u are still on their facebook friend list Then why did you assume she deleted you.
Author PhillyDude Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Then why did you assume she deleted you. I said that I was confused because since she did not call when she arrived home I was surprised that she DIDN"T delete me yet. She had 40 mins to delete me when she was headed home on the train.
Recommended Posts