Almost four years later...

[littlechloe]

So, I'll try to refrain from detailing too much the situation.

 

We first started going out in early 2005. I was 17 and he was 19. We fell quickly in love and it was intense, but I was going to study abroad that summer and I would be gone for 10 months. We decided we'd stick together and that went well until the last month, when I cheated and thought I was in love. Meanwhile in the US he was building relationships with my family and friends, even meeting my parents while I was gone.

 

Ok. I couldn't bring myself to tell him after I got back, so he found out by himself and was devastated, but ultimately decided to forgive me. He never trusted me again though, and his issues only grew worse over time. Things blew up in mid-2007 (my freshman year in college), when I decided I'd go to spring break with friends in Florida while he was assigned to stay home working. Once again, nothing happened.

 

He'd call and check on me 4 or 5 times during a 2 hour lecture. I was tired, so I broke up with him late August 07, but there were feelings there.

 

A few days later a friend asked me out and I said yes. Two weeks later for some reason I found out that my ex was sleeping around, but we were still speaking (more him doing the talking). I still have no idea why I got so jealous, but I (god, I know) changed my Fb status to "in a relationship".

 

He went mad. I tried calling him. He accused me of cheating yet again. It went terribly, so I thought he never wanted to hear from me again. A few weeks later I learn that he had been with a friend of mine and was bragging to his friends. I was, if anything, grossed out by that. Suddenly he was hitting on all my friends/girls he met through me. I got reports on the situation religiously from friends for about 4 months until I had enough.

 

Then came the day he was bad-mouthing me to my mother. I called him at his job and we had words. That call went downhill from the first second. We never spoke again. I know I'm referred to amongst his friends as "The Bitch".

 

A few weeks later he changed his relationship status on Facebook. He casually slipped a few pictures of his new girlfriend to my best friend during a conversation, but I never heard anything from that respect otherwise until mid-09, when a close friend of both asks me if I'm happy in my current relationship. I say yes. Do you cheat? No. Learned my lesson. Did you cheat on "the ex" when you and your new bf got together? I'm not answering that ever again so listen carefully and go tell him I didn't. You all need to let this go. Then she goes on for forty minutes about how his new girlfriend is a real bitch and how everyone kind of hates her. I found out he constantly cheats on her and tries to **** basically any woman he can.

 

He's always been lingering around and friended some of my friends from back then on Facebook with almost 2 years apart. He has a real need to be seen by my friends if they meet and always tells them how much money he's been making and how happy he is - which is probably not a lie, he's an accomplished architect so he must make money accordingly. He almost chased my best friend down the street and reached her just to "say hi" and brag. That in late-09.

 

 

I never tried to contact him and, to be perfectly honest, nor have I given it too much thought until October 10, when I accidentally found a message I never opened on Facebook (from October 07!) that read **** YOU BITCH.

 

I came across his Twitter account so I checked it out every once in a while on my phone until one day I hit the follow button by accident. He was clearly notified, since he posted the same picture of him and his girlfriend in two different occasions and paraded around that he was in Mexico with her with plenty romantic pictures, something he never did before on Twitter. He came across as a totally carefree bachelor up until that moment.

 

The things he tweeted changed a bit, in a very subtle way. He's actually trying to sound smart, which was his biggest issue with me and my friends.

 

Meanwhile, I broke off a 3 year relationship, but we're still close friends so I'm not heartbroken.

 

Now, see, I am the one who mildly Facebook-stalks him. So I see that he's suddenly very nostalgic of decades past and is reaching out to all girls from right before me - I mean, people he slept with back in 2004. He also seems into stuff that was significant to the relationship, as certain movies, songs and books again. I do know it took him 2 and a half years to get over me, or at least as far as people told me.

 

We spoke last April rather quickly. I sent him a private message on Facebook apologizing for everything I caused and he was kind, and told me not to worry. I later decided I'd respond, saying how much I appreciated the answer and that I was glad we could speak and not bark at each other. It seemed like the perfect send-off, but he started to strike up a conversation, asking about my parents and when was I finishing college.

 

It all went fine until he blurted "You know, I spoke to Lily last week too. It's been so long". Lily is a close friend of mine with which we had a threesome in a drunken night of experimentation years ago - and she's one of the girls he creeped on around a year ago. I told him she had mentioned it, and by the way, did you know she got married and had a baby? He said yes, she told me. I felt a bit offended with that out of nowhere mention, so I cut the conversation short with a cold "Well, it was nice talking to you. You can friend me if you want. Take care". And that was it. A few days later, he changed his Facebook picture to one of him and his girlfriend kissing.

 

Now my friends tell me my ex was oh so obviously trying to test the waters and I really want to ask him for coffee/hate sex. I know it's such a slippery slope. Should I text him? What does that all mean?

[0hpenelope]

Oh hon, there's too much mindgames, mindplaying here. How can you think that any of this is a good period of time to rewind to?

[iceweasel6]

I have to agree with Ohpenelope here, you have to let it go and move forward, learn and grow.

Also, this manipulation / games you play, you have to grow out of it. No good can come from it.