sweetjasmine Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 "Men do the approaching. Not always. I did more of the approaching in my current relationship. Men risk rejection. Both sides risk rejection. Men put in all the effort. If you're putting in all the effort, you're doing it wrong, buddy! Men do the wooing and romancing. Again, you're doing it wrong! Men does the pursuing. Not always. I've seen women do the pursuing. Men initiate all contact, calls, texts, emails etc etc" Now you're really doing it wrong. I initiated more contact than my partner did. And I didn't complain about it, either, because, get this - I wanted to initiate the contact and didn't do it out of obligation.
oaks Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) Hard, you seem to lose my point about dating is "harder" for men. I'm not talking physically hard, or mentally hard... I'm not talking about landing at ****in normandy "hard" here. But it is "harder" for us because we put in more effort. No, your point was that men do all the approaching. Men putting in all the effort was your third point. I'm sorry, but I don't agree with the so-called "evidence" that you presented on this one. Being rejected is never fun. Is that so hard to understand? Women NEVER have to go through rejection in dating. Men do. So logically, women = have it easier no?/ I agree that being rejected isn't much fun, but it's not the end of the world. You ask a girl out, she says no. There, that didn't take long. Find someone else (maybe that's the hard part). You're wrong that women never have to go through it. I've rejected women (and I'm sure we can find a woman on here who's been rejected if we need to). I'll agree with you that since men do more 'approaching' than women that it follows that men get rejected more often. (and I think that getting rejected is a natural part of dating - it wouldn't be natural to have everyone say 'yes' all the time - but I know that isn't what we're discussing here.) Like what? I'm not talking about putting on make up or whatever which takes 30 minutes. I'm talking about putting in some effort into showing that she actually likes and appreciates the man she is dating. Oh, why doesn't getting ready for a date count? Ok, but women do show that they like and appreciate what the man is doing. They call, they say they're having a nice time, they suggest future date ideas, they book tickets to shows, they buy dinner, they show appreciation by reciprocating signs of affection whether it's just a hug or something sexual. You might not be seeing this, but it really does happen! For example, in dates. You sit down at the table and talk right, who asks the questions? Who does the charming? Women really only make "answers", it's like Q&A time really, theres no questions back, no real engagement in the discussion. I can see that being problematic and frustrating for the woman... But really it's their own choice to stay passive. Men don't have a choice. Erm. We both talk, we both ask questions. She's very charming! Some dates I've been on this year felt like an interview because the woman asked so many (too many!) questions, but there was definitely engagement with that one! Again, your experience isn't universal. I have been on dates where the woman was passive - didn't say much, didn't ask much, didn't expand much on her answers when I asked things. Those dates didn't lead to second dates, but that's the way of dating sometimes and it isn't a "harder for men" thing. But why should I ALWAYS make the call? Maybe I'd appreciate some call every now and then aswell. But no offcourse not, relationships are all a onew way street to make just the woman happy and nothing else You shouldn't, and I already said that this isn't always the case with dating but you've ignored that and just re-stated the same point. If you're doing all the calling then she's just not that interested, and if you're continuing to do that I can see that you would be putting in a one-sided amount of effort for little reward. I think what you're really telling me is that your relationships are hard and one-sided in this way, and I'm not belittling or denying you your experiences, but it isn't like this for everyone and it isn't like this for every relationship. You'll have to take my word for some of that, because while I've given examples here I'm not proposing to take you on my next date to see for yourself. This "hard" thing, you act like I mean literally hard... No it's not hard to pick up a phone type in a number and press "call". It's not hard to walk up to a woman, introduce yourself and ask her out. It's not hard to show intrest in a woman. Good! Get to it! Okay, okay, I know I should read the next paragraph too... But it gets old after while when the woman never do any of those things back, its loopsided, its a one way street. So yeah its not physically hard but it sure is less fun to ALWAYS be the "giver". Yes, that would annoy the sh)t out of me, too. Now that you know that it's not like that for everybody, can you work on improving your lot? because that's the key to being able to whine about it without being labelled as one of those bitter "woe is me" guys. AND A reason that actually makes it harder for men to get a woman than vice versa, is that... There are MORE men than women in the world, more competition. Yes theres more older women than older men, but among young people there are more men than women. Ooo. Yes, this is true, there are more younger men than younger women on the planet. I think you would need to look at numbers specifically for your area before you can draw a meaningful conclusion. In the UK, boys and men outnumber girls and women up to age 30, then women outnumber men from age 31 (2007 figures) but until approximately age 65 the percentage difference is quite small (a handful of percent). I haven't seen figures for the south-east of England, or for London (either of which might apply to my dating situation) but I would be surprised if this has a significant impact. Edited July 4, 2011 by oaks typos
Disillusioned Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 So women don't need sex nor love? Interesting. Hey, I'm only going on observation. They seem to get along fine without it.
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