nicky22 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 My bf of 2 years is moving in about a month. He's been wonderful however I am having a ton of conflicting thoughts about this. First off he is great and really sweet but he has lied to me before and cheated about 2 weeks ago. Although i forgave him for the lies I haven't forgiven him for cheating and has made him leaving a little easier. We decided to reconcile since we had a whole month before he leaves but i still can't help but look and think of his moving date without crying. He does not want a ldr and honestly after cheating i dont think i could have one with him although id want to (its hard to trust him since he cheated on his 2 other serious relationship partners).he wants to remain friends and promises to always be there if i need to talk. its even harder since my best friend is also going away for college and i do have other friends but im not as close to them as i am to her. He is also my best friend and we have done a ton of things together so every little thing will remind me of him. Also, not to sound picky, but there arent many guys i am interested in around here. I live on the jersey shore and we all know the guys around here lol jk. i worry i wont find someone and trying to get out is hard with work and school. Im excited to move on and see who's next but i dont want to go through the stage of missing him. We've talked about it before and he understands and tells me how im great and all this other stuff that really raised my self esteem and i worry once he's gone i'll go back to how i was.Any advice will help, im so confused with everything because it's all hitting at once.
creighton0123 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Ditch him, miss him, move on. Him moving away has little to do with the fact that he has lied to you and has been unfaithful to you under a premise of assumed monogamy. After a few tubs of ice cream and time with your friends, perhaps you could try online dating - okcupid, eharmony, or match. It'll open you up to quite a few young professionals rather than folks from high school.
madjac74 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 After my divorce I had that feeling that I was too old and havent been in the dating seen forever and wouldnt find anyone else but I ended up meeting all kinds of new people. I had a relationship with a few but mostly I made some great new friends. My self esteem became higher than when I was married. You dont need a liar and a cheater to raise your self esteem because they are likely just telling you what you need to hear to get what you want. Take some time for yourself for now and eventually you will find someone who will build you up with true sincerity.
Author nicky22 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Posted July 7, 2011 Thanks for your help it's really appreciated. It's just been really hard since he is really nice and has done a lot of great things for me but he can't be trusted and on top of it he is my first boyfriend making it way harder to get over him.
Whipple Posted July 8, 2011 Posted July 8, 2011 My bf of 2 years is moving in about a month. He's been wonderful however I am having a ton of conflicting thoughts about this. First off he is great and really sweet but he has lied to me before and cheated about 2 weeks ago. Although i forgave him for the lies I haven't forgiven him for cheating and has made him leaving a little easier. We decided to reconcile since we had a whole month before he leaves but i still can't help but look and think of his moving date without crying. He does not want a ldr and honestly after cheating i dont think i could have one with him although id want to (its hard to trust him since he cheated on his 2 other serious relationship partners).he wants to remain friends and promises to always be there if i need to talk. its even harder since my best friend is also going away for college and i do have other friends but im not as close to them as i am to her. He is also my best friend and we have done a ton of things together so every little thing will remind me of him. Also, not to sound picky, but there arent many guys i am interested in around here. I live on the jersey shore and we all know the guys around here lol jk. i worry i wont find someone and trying to get out is hard with work and school. Im excited to move on and see who's next but i dont want to go through the stage of missing him. We've talked about it before and he understands and tells me how im great and all this other stuff that really raised my self esteem and i worry once he's gone i'll go back to how i was.Any advice will help, im so confused with everything because it's all hitting at once. Easier said than done, but take him off his pedestal. I don't care how nice and sweet you say he is; HE CHEATED ON YOU. In my book, infidelity trumps everything. It's easy for him to say all this stuff to you because he's leaving. He won't have to deal with the "consequences" of him saying nice things. I know he's your first boyfriend, but you'll get over him and move on. We all have You said you're worried because you won't be able to get out with work and school. Well, maybe you'll meet someone there. Or maybe you'll meet a friend of a coworker or the brother of a partner in a group project at school. You really never know.
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