fairfloss. Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Last night my ex contacted me through text after 3 days no contact, asking me if I would like to get drunk with him (it was late at night and i had no desire to get out of bed so I declined) When I stopped replying to his texts he persisting in sending more asking if I still liked him etc. I replied saying I still cared about him but I did not care for his bullcrap- and that I wanted to be respected by a man. This got him a little worked up and tried to start an argument. I rebutted very briefly and bluntly. After this he started talking about how 'respect is nothing in life'. I replied saying that I was going to bed and if he really felt the need to discuss it he could contact me another day. He the said the following. 'Im done talking, you're boring and even though im drunk we are done. We shouldnt talk anymore' What does this mean? We were together for a year- and he broke up with me appoximately a month ago because 'he didnt know what he wanted anymore' It would be great to get some pointers as he is a really good guy deep down and I would like my life back. Should I contact him or wait for him to contact me?
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 If you want your life back, get rid of someone who only wants to hang out with you to get drunk (probably wanted to get sex), speaks to your disrespectfully, cuts you off abruptly and most of all, didn't want to be with you. If you're asking if you should contact him wondering if he's crazy making contact is a sign of him wanting you back, you're grabbing at straws. You said to him that you want to be with a man that respects you, then you should mean what you say.
Author fairfloss. Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I guess youre right. I know he still likes me though. Do you think he'll come crawling back? Its not so much I want him back I just want to be the dominant one- calling the shots and make him feel like he made me feel.
Crisis Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I think you did the right thing, i mean respect goes a long way. To respect means to have loyalty, and to have loyalty means to have trust, and trust to love. If he can't respect you then you better off by yourself. I say this cause my GF broke up with me saying she needed space, and she already had a new "BEST FRIEND" who she never wanted me to know about. She didn't have the respect to say, "Look i want space cause i want to see if i'm missing anything out there; guys, life, etc", which means she had no loyalty towards me. See where i'm going with this?
wilsonx Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I guess youre right. I know he still likes me though. Do you think he'll come crawling back? Its not so much I want him back I just want to be the dominant one- calling the shots and make him feel like he made me feel. Do you think he will come back? Maybe for a hookup with you. As for you wanting to be the dominant one. It will never happen... The fact is he broke up with you will always be hurt from this until you get to the point of indifference. You wont have the ability to stand up to him and be the dominant one. I can tell you right now that I am a guy and I can fake being the dominant alpha male right now in short brief interactions with my ex where she still tries to validate herself to me but I'm a long way away probably 5-6 months before I can ever be able to regain my true role if we were to try again. At that point in my life I wont really care about her anymore to try to dominate her and get revenge. Life's too short, why would you want to be with someone that treats you like crap, breaks your heart, and then moves on instantly to another person like its ok
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I guess youre right. I know he still likes me though. Do you think he'll come crawling back? Its not so much I want him back I just want to be the dominant one- calling the shots and make him feel like he made me feel. So what if he still likes you. Likes you enough to break up with you, treat you like crap and talk to you disrespectfully. You need to set some boundaries. Just because he likes you, don't sweep everything else under the rug. And people who like each other, don't treat them shabbily. If you have to play games to make things work or manipulate someone or a situation to work to your wants and needs, it's a waste of time. Start investing that energy into healing yourself and working at creating boundaries that protect you vs. keeping you engaged in unhealthy situations.
Recommended Posts