Arasae Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Hey all--having problems. That seems to be the only time I post threads, lol. The issue? Feeling under-appreciated in the relationship. Solution? I want to talk about it with my man. The other issue? Timing. Lately, stuff has been very hectic for my SO--his parents' dog just died, parents' land-lord just died (so they had to find another place to live), his grandmother died (REALLY rough on his Dad), and his parents just closed on a house that he's been helping them move into, which is a HUGE feat unto itself since his parents are hoarders and have lived in their old house for twenty plus years. This all happened in the past month. Anyway, I was starting to feel put off before all this transpired, and I'm not sure if it makes me a brat for even bringing it up during this time. Here's why I feel under-appreciated--all of these things, individually, would be a-okay with me, but since they've ALL built up.. yeah. It's taking a toll: 1) My birthday. He took me out to dinner, then ditched out on the actual party part (from about 7 PM to 2 AM) because his friend was playing in a band. It was fine, we had fun, but.. the fact that it didn't bother me then makes me feel like it started the rest of this stuff. This was a few months ago. 2) Little things he used to do that made me feel appreciated have not been happening, even a little. Such as making sure I have cereal--there have been many mornings he'll be eating breakfast and I'll just be sitting there next to him, with nothing to eat. I go to my own house to eat later, but it was nice.. anyway.. He also went on a work-related trip and, in the past, he's ALWAYS brought me home stuff--not even so much as a shell this time. I get that he was busy and working, but.. ugh. 3) I invited him out to a thing with some co-workers of mine, and he told me he'd be there around two. He showed up at three and told me that he was late because he'd fallen asleep and forgot to set an alarm. =/ He could have just said no, you know? 4) He keeps telling me he wants to learn how to do an activity that I'm passionate about, but hasn't tried it, even a little, since we first started dating. Again, couldn't he just say he's not interested? I've told him to just tell me, but.. he insists he wants to. 5) I stayed the night the other night and was planning on helping his family move and take his friend out for a day on the town--but I needed a change of clothes--I asked him to just stop by my house so I could grab something quickly, but he's insisted that I drive to my house, get ready there, then drive back.. it seems silly, but he acknowledged that he knows I hate driving. Bah. There's more, but those are the main ones.. Meanwhile, I've been helping his parents move, trying to be really understanding that he's not been around very much, bought his folks dinner because I knew they were struggling financially, canceling MY plans with MY parents to show his cousin around, and missing out on 4th of July stuff (my favorite holiday) in order to be available for him. Do I even have a leg to stand on here? =( Do I have a right to feel this way, or am I just being a brat? If I DO have a problem, is it okay to bring this up now, or should I wait for his parents to finish moving/estate to get settled from his grandmother/his life to settle down? Thanks for the input.. I'm stuck. =(
D-Lish Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I think a lot of these things are trivial to be honest. It sounds like you want to be taken care of, and he's looking for a gf to be more independent. Not sure why you can't grab your own cereal- you don't need him to pour you a bowl do you?? Unless you mean you're not welcome to have breakfast at his place. As for the driving, you have a DL, so if you need something from your house, I don't see why you wouldn't go grab it yourself? That's what I would do. Perhaps he's a bit clueless or insensitive about some things- so why don't you talk to him and find out his take on things?
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