POd Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I was invitedto go out with a few buddies to a strip club, told my girlfriend and she said she didn't care, to go and hve a good time but that she really didn't like strip clubs and not to share details when I get back. I was really angry. why tell me I can go and then say not to tell her anything about the event? Am i being crazy? She said to go and have a good time, i feel like it's a trap or something. she has never been like that before and I don't know why i feel like this. i don't go to strip clubs ever and she knows that. am i overreacting? My blood is boiling and she hasn't even really done anything. thanks for the input ahead of time.
HopelessR Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I was invitedto go out with a few buddies to a strip club, told my girlfriend and she said she didn't care, to go and hve a good time but that she really didn't like strip clubs and not to share details when I get back. I was really angry. why tell me I can go and then say not to tell her anything about the event? Am i being crazy? She said to go and have a good time, i feel like it's a trap or something. she has never been like that before and I don't know why i feel like this. i don't go to strip clubs ever and she knows that. am i overreacting? My blood is boiling and she hasn't even really done anything. thanks for the input ahead of time. I don't understand the problem. She told you to go have a fun time but she doesn't want to hear about all the 'hot' strippers you saw that were dancing around/on you all night. I don't blame her I wouldn't want to hear about it either ...
Arasae Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I don't see the issue. If she doesn't normally go back on her word, then I think you should take her at face value: go, have a good time, and simply don't mention all the hot girls you saw later. If she's as good as her word, you won't have any issues. I wouldn't want to hear about MY guy getting all hot n' bothered either! =)
Author POd Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 At this point it doesn't really matter if it's a trap or not seeing as she's in the bedroom sulking bc i didn't to talk to her at all today. no she never goes back on her word but i've had experiences with other girlfriends where this was a trap to see if i would go knowing they were not happy about it.
nothappyjan Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Why do you need to go see naked women when you are in a r/ship. I mean when you reallllly think about it, its pretty inappropriate. I dont understand how it became such a normal activity for men who are in r/ships. I think single men can do whatever they want as can guys before they are in a committed r/ship. So if you want to do that then just be single. Im single atm and I love it and if i want to go see naked men dancing i can. But i dont think its appropriate when i end up in my next r/ship.
Author POd Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 it's a guy thing and not the issue at hand anyway. I was invited, i'm going the end. i just want to know if i'm in for a fight when i get home
Arasae Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 First, you say... At this point it doesn't really matter if it's a trap or not seeing as she's in the bedroom sulking bc i didn't to talk to her at all today. Then, you say... i just want to know if i'm in for a fight when i get home It seems to me that it DOES matter to you if it's "a trap," and I can safely say that yes, you should expect a fight for acting like this: i didn't to talk to her at all today. Seriously, you're the one acting inconsistently. i've had experiences with other girlfriends where this was a trap to see if i would go knowing they were not happy about it. Your current girlfriend should NOT be lumped in with your ex girlfriends. THAT would start a fight right there. Seriously, let it go. And apologize for being a moody jerk to her, for good measure.
Pasttense Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 What was her body language saying? Was she verbally saying you can go; but her body language strongly suggesting she didn't want you to go?
rafallus Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 it's a guy thing and not the issue at hand anyway. I was invited, i'm going the end. i just want to know if i'm in for a fight when i get home "I know putting hand in the fire will burn me, but I'll do it anyway".
Author POd Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Her body language wasn't saying anything other than what she was actually saying so i guess i'm safe. i did say sorry for acting like a jerk but i don't think it did much good. she's pretty upset anyway. And another one bites the dust. she left last night to go to a friends place and said when i felt like actually talking about WHY i was an a$$ to give her a call.
carhill Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 A man does what he does. Help me understand here... you never go to strip clubs. OK, got that; me, neither, in 52 years. If I was invited tomorrow, even as a divorced man, I'd decline. What has prompted you to accept an invitation to something you never do? More to the story, methinks, and, like you said, the strip club isn't the central issue. Welcome to LS
Author POd Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I just wanted a night out with the guys, thats where they chose to go, so yeah. I couldn't care less about seeing a bunch of skanky dancers, hot or not, it's just they chose that place and I wanted to go with them. the gf doesn't like it but she told me to go and have fun, but not to share. i tend to tell her EVERYTHING that i do, and in the past it's gotten me in trouble. so i guess she just wanted to give me a heads up that she didn't want to hear about the tattoos on a girls behind that was in my face or the likes. but now bc of the way i acted after she told me to go there IS an issue and i don't wnt to tell her that bc of what someone else did to me she ws punished for 24 hrs. i just want to forget it. i feel bad, i told her i feel bad but i don't want to talk about it
DontWorryBHappy Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I don't get it. What was the thing the "someone else did to you" and how was your girlfriend "punished"?
nyc_guy2003 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I'm a guy but I am siding with the chick on this one since you acted like a major d-bag. No reason for you to act like that. The relationship is likely over judging by her reaction.
carhill Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 There are other nights and there are other boys. To be perfectly honest, if my social circle of male friends would demean me for declining such an invitation, the friendships would not have much life left in them. I decline invitations all the time, as do they, and life goes on. Again, I read that you *never* go to strip clubs, so declining this invitation would not be out of line for you; not odd; not out of character. Normal. You don't go to strip clubs. IMO, there's something which needs to be resolved regarding the dynamic of peer pressure versus relationship pressure. Unknown what it is. The strip club is the canary in the coal mine.
DontWorryBHappy Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I'm still not getting why the OP now "feels bad" because of what "someone else did to him" and he "doesnt want to talk about it"??? Need more info.
Author POd Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 She dumped me anyway. I guess i really am a d-bag, huh? I don't understand. I didn't go to the damn club, i tried to apologize and all she said was that if i wasn't going to explain why i was being such a d*ck she didn't really feel the need to continue things. Girls always play these frickin mind games. Yeah go have fun, then when you do they twist it all around so that somehow you've done wrong. no she wasn't doing that. she was angry tht i didn't go. more bc i was cranky about it when i told her. then when she wanted to talk about it i told her it was over and to never mind. she pretty much freaked and said i couldn't not talk to her for 24 hours bc she told me to go have fun and not share details and then be b*tchy about it when i didn't go. she was so mad she was shaking. i'm gonna email her and apologize again but don't think it will do much good.
nyc_guy2003 Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Just take it as a lesson not to act like a retard the next time a girl makes a simple request and the dumping will not have been in vain.
Author POd Posted July 6, 2011 Author Posted July 6, 2011 doesn't it seem too much though? i mean i know i was a jerk but do you think that was dump worthy?? cause i don't
nothappyjan Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 Just make sure you learn from this experience and make sure next time you dont act like a d-bag okay!! On the bright side, you are now free to go to any strip club you like
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