hutch_2002 Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Hey all, So I have been friendly with this girl who works for one of my companies clients and have seen her every Friday for about a year now. We were flirty with each other a few times, but she took it to the next level about a month ago and basically asked me out! She gave me her number, and I met her for a drink. I am 25 and she is quite a bit older at 36. All went well, played tennis with her a few days later, all good. Had a second date with her, went round to her flat and watched a film, chatted about all sorts, gave her a peck on the cheek as I left. Had a third date with her just over a week ago. I took her out to a restaurant, we had a nice meal and I went back to her flat and we watched a film and drank some wine. I started to get a bit touchy feely with her, which she was fine with, she started talking to me about how she felt and said things like she realised I'd be really good in her life and the like. Then she started questioning why I wanted to be with her as she was older etc. We had a cuddle on her sofa and I could feel her heart racing and her breathing was very fast. She asked if I'd stay the night to keep her company. Sorry about the length of this! This is now where I'm confused, she dropped me home the next morning, we kissed on the lips to say goodbye. I went off on holiday for a few days and while I was away she texted me to say that she'd done a lot of thinking about our chat that night and that she thought she'd be much happier if we were just friends and that she really enjoyed my company but being absolutely honest the age difference bothers her! I tried to meet with her when I got back but she kind of froze me out by saying she didn't want it to be an issue and she wasn't going to change her mind! She sad she was only worried about upsetting me. I really like this girl and thought we were going somewhere and can't believe she has thrown the towel in because of age difference? Am I reading her all wrong or is this dead in the water? I can't stop thinking about her and dont think she fully got how I feel. Any advice grateful.
spiderowl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Could be one of several things, I think: 1. She listened very carefully to your replies about why you were interested in an older woman and found them shallow. Basically, she thought you were interested in sex and not thinking much further so she realised you weren't relationship material. 2. She listened carefully and felt that although you seemed sincere, she felt that you were less mature than her. She has more experience of life and it is something that becomes obvious when you spend time with someone younger. She perhaps thought that, despite finding you attractive, the emotional connection and understanding wasn't there. 3. She didn't enjoy the touchy-feely stuff and something went awry at that point. Physical contact can be very telling. In the past, I've been put off by guys who were: physically rougher than I'd like, sloppy wet kissers, pulled me about too much rather than moved towards me, smelly, went straight for the most sensitive parts without any foreplay, and so on ... Whatever happened, she's decided it's not going to work. She says she's not going to change her mind so she's not being 'fluffy' and leading you on. I think you need to give up on her and move on. Sorry.
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