wreckedhero Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 This time telling me to pick up the dvds I left for her in her post tray. Is this her way of telling me to get into contact with her? Still no contact but hate the fact that she is disrespecting me by getting in touch with me when she knows I want more.
Author wreckedhero Posted July 3, 2011 Author Posted July 3, 2011 Just going to keep on ignoring but having her contact me is heartbreaking.
Kilty Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Dont worry - it will get easier I expect you will soon get the "Why are you not replying" etc which will confirm she is not respecting the way you feel and that she feels she has that hold on you. You are doing great Sit back, keep doing what you are doing and see what happens
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 She doesn't care about what you want. She doesnt care to respect your wishes and to leave you alone knowing it hurts you. It's selfish and manipulative behavior at best. Someone who cares about you and who knows that they can't give you what you want will do the selfless and kind thing by leaving you alone because the last thing they would want to do is hurt you. See it for what it is and stay no contact. She can't take no for an answer so she's upping the poking and prodding. She is thinking at some point you will cave. After all you've broken NC before. She's just going to keep nudging. Stay NC. I know it breaks your heart but turn that around and ask yourself what type of person would consciously do this to someone.
Author wreckedhero Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I'm planning on to. When do you reply though? When does it become wise to reconnect with her or do you just wait till she says she wants you back?
wilsonx Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Im sorry man, at least my ex that cheated on me and lied to me for the past 6 weeks before our breakup is respecting my boundaries and leaving me alone. She keeps asking my roommate questions as to concerns we still have with some of her furniture here and i finally told him it needs to be out by tues night otherwise its getting tossed Wed, its been well over a month and we even rented a truck to help her move the stuff but she was playing games with him.. He keeps telling her if she has a problem with something either call Wilson or email him. She has left me alone and I think shes just going to let it go which is smart of her considering what she did to me. You can break no contact one time if it gets out of hand and you have to play the strong confident alpha male and set a boundary and tell her to back off. Something like. " I want you to stop contacting me, I need my space to heal and move on. This is my boundary and you will respect it. " She will be offended and probably make a snide remark but just ignore it. You do not have to justify it to her or the reasoning behind it, just say it and move forward. When you say it you want to mean it. It actually helps you resent her more and more and more if she keeps trying to push your boundary
wilsonx Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I'm planning on to. When do you reply though? When does it become wise to reconnect with her or do you just wait till she says she wants you back? You do not want to get back with an ex ever... or for at least years. Nothing will have changed on her side and the same thing is going to happen all over again. If she does come begging and wants you to come back to her, the best thing you could do is slam the door in her face. Let her feel the pain that she caused you. Do not give her a free pass.
geegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Anything short of -- "I'm sorry I made a mistake. I really love you and I want us to work on our relationship...or anything in the realm of a true and honest wanting you and the R" -- you must remain NC. Other than that, reconnecting with her will only leave you hurt and heartbroken. I think the bigger picture is you have to start asking yourself if you really want to be back with someone who disrespects and disregards your well being for their own benefit. Even if she came back, you should think twice.
Fedor Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Stay strong and maintain NC. All you can do at this point. We have all been there!
Recommended Posts