USCGAviator Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 A quick rundown, I'm 30, divorced after 9 years and 3 kids. For the past year since I've been back on the market, dating for me has been very easy going. Why? Simply because I'm choosing not to have any more children. I would actually consider marriage....someday. I date women with children and without. At the same time I know that my options for marriage are extremely limited simply because I won't be pro-creating anymore. My reason is based on my PERSONAL experience. Plain and simply put: She won't be able to use my child/children as leverage for power. I'm sure the divorced w/kids community here understands where I'm coming from. I also understand that you learn from life's lessons and many great successes come from repeated failures. However, losing another family is something I'm not willing to risk. Discuss why Aviator is scared
TaraMaiden Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 scared is just sacred miss-spelled..... You may change your mind when you meet the new woman of your dreams. That said, if you're really serious - get a vasectomy. problem solved. no kids - because you can't sire offspring. Great get-out clause, huh?
Author USCGAviator Posted July 3, 2011 Author Posted July 3, 2011 get a vasectomy. Been there, done that.
Lucky_One Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Why does a commitment to not having more children limit your chances of marriage? A lot of women who already have kids have no desire for more with another man. And some childless women are childless from personal choice. If dating has been easy, I don't get why you are scared anyway. Tara has a good suggestion. Just get a vasectomy. Then you are done, and there is no confusion as to your intent.
TaraMaiden Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Been there, done that. So what's your problem....?
carhill Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Glad to hear you're happy. Concur with the vasectomy advice. If I were in your position, with three wonderful children, snip-snip I'd be. You'll be bouncing grandchildren on your knee before you know it. Regardless of what female companionship comes down the pike, you've got a great life and it's the only one you're gonna get so live it to the fullest. Well, since my thoughts are slow to form and snip-snip is done, go with the rest..
Author USCGAviator Posted July 3, 2011 Author Posted July 3, 2011 Do you feel that my reason for not having children is valid? I know married women wanting to hook me up with childless women. I don't think they understand or better yet like hearing my "woman child power" POV.
TaraMaiden Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 If you're even asking about it, you know your view is controversial. Given that you know it's controversial, whether it's valid or not, is both subjective and immaterial. The simple solution to the dilemma of having children in the future doesn't arise for you, because you have had a vasectomy. it's great to air your opinion if you find a woman who feels exactly the same way you do. Or at least, who finds the idea of having (more) children, objectionable. If however, you find a woman who seems to want children, I'd keep your yap shut about your opinions, and let your vasectomy do the talking for you. Because if you can't sire children, your reasons are at best, irrelevant, and at worst, simply spiteful. And if you can't sire children for mechanical reasons, she may not want to stay with you anyway.... But if she does stay with you, in spite of her desire to have more children - then why blot your copy book by admitting why you're glad you can't have them, anyway? This thread is pointless, and I'm sorry, but your question is in-debatable. in fact, it's kinda dumb........
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