shades71 Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Hi everyone! I am new here and hoping for some advice. I found out about 1 month ago my live-in BF of 7 yrs has been cheating on me with a business friend of his. He admitted to it, said he was sorry, and wanted to see how things went with us. I am not sure how long the affair has been going on, but I suspect long term. We had our sexual slump and i admit pushed him away for a while due to life stresses, gaining weight, etc. Since december i have been exercising and lost the extra weight and feel good about myself. We have a successful business together that was for OUR retirement. We can't run it without eachother. It would be devastating to him financially if the business closed. I assumed he ended the affair, but I got into his email acct and there were emails and she sent him a card which I intercepted at the post office. I spoke to an atty@ my options. We need to get a partnership agreement together. I have all my ideas written down, and want to present it to him in the next few days. I know he is going away on" business(for a different company - he has his own training biz)" at the end of the month and she will be there. He planned to go away for a" convention" but is now actually doing some work down there I want the legal papers in place before I confront him, so that may mean sucking it up when he is away. I need to protect myself with the legal agreement so I hesitate to say anything beforehand. We have sex practically daily, have a wonderful friendship, I love his kids dearly. Why wont he let her go? I know he has met her for lunch one time last month. He is home every night. I am sick to my stomachs waiting, but I have to wait for the legal stuff to be in place right???? He wants to continue the biz, expanding, getting everything in order, life ins, wills and even the partnership agreement. What do I do in meantime? SIGH!
gpatb43 Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 If you don't have a partnership in place today, do you have an LLC? I am not a legal expert (thats why you are getting advice) but I personally would confront him now - if you have a business together and have records of money flows, tax returns etc, I would have thought you'd be protected irrespective the outcome. But again am not an attny so please ask that advice. I just know that if he has been having an affair, you have to talk it out and waiting doesnt usually help.
Author shades71 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Posted July 3, 2011 No we don't have an LLC. I know, all this should have been in place from day one, but he has his own biz (which isnt doing really great) and we talked @ an LLC but never did it.I want to get that all in place, the LLC, the partnership agreement, the life insurance to cover the business. I feel I need those documents in order so when the s#it hits the fan, I am protected. I have mortgages, personal loans ans credit card debt in my name only, so that is why I think I should wait. I don't think we'd have a problem dissolving the biz otherwise, but never in a million years did I think he'd cheat. All my debt needs to be paid off plus any other debt before we get any profit, if any, plus I want 75% of any profit since I will need a place to live, plus he screwed me over. He'd never have our biz if it wasn't for me. See why I think I should wait, but you do have a point of not letting it drag on. We could use a mediator I suppose, just don't want to go to court!
Afishwithabike Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 This is not my area of law, but yes, please have your business matters sorted out before you confront him. These things should have been written down when you first started your business venture. It's not about lack of trust. It's about making sure everyone understands the business responsibilities and roles. It's not too late though. Protect yourself, get everything in black and white especially if he's thinking of expanding the business. Having formal agreements will provide you with peace of mind. If you don't, you literally could lose everything you've helped build.
OldOnTheInside Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Agree with the above. You have to think quite pragmatically when it comes to the business world. But I'm sure you know that. Get everything down on paper. Cover your *ss from a legal standpoint. Make sure all the paper work is in order. Then talk to him.
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