Paperview Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 We have been married 10years, we have 2 kids. 2 months ago my wife cheated on me with a co worker, she confessed it to me and i am hurt, i wont lie my male ego has being bruised. I cant divorce her because 1. I love her 2. Il have to give her half of everything i worked for. 3. I cant lose my kids its not fair. How do i get back at her for hurting me so much. I might just cheat, i dont know am confused. Help me.
whichwayisup Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 She needs to quit her job, end it completely with the OM and never see/speak to him again. And then go to marriage counselling with you. Why did she confess? Guilt? Fear of getting caught? Or she realized she f,cked up badly and wants to make things right? Is she truly remorseful for her cheating and how much she's hurt you? Don't do the revenge affair thing..That would be a mistake and then you'd have both of you not trusting eachother!
fltc Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 We have been married 10years, we have 2 kids. 2 months ago my wife cheated on me with a co worker, she confessed it to me and i am hurt, i wont lie my male ego has being bruised. I cant divorce her because 1. I love her 2. Il have to give her half of everything i worked for. 3. I cant lose my kids its not fair. How do i get back at her for hurting me so much. I might just cheat, i dont know am confused. Help me. Don't cheat, that's just going to make it worse. There's no reason you can't divorce her. 1. You do NOT love her, I'm so damn sick of hearing that self delusional untruth from betrayed spouses..... You love the woman who you thought she was. She's not that woman and probably never was. The woman you love exists ONLY in your imagination, nowhere else. 2. How the property settlement goes is up to what your two attorneys can agree upon, the laws where you live, what the court will allow, etc. 3. You will NOT lose your kids, you can work out the custody and your kids will be better off than living with the two of you under the strain your feeling.
Author Paperview Posted July 3, 2011 Author Posted July 3, 2011 She is very remorseful, why she told me i do not know, but am hating her everyday, though i still love her.
Clubman35 Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Don't go out and cheat on her. Be the better person.
John Michael Kane Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 She is very remorseful, why she told me i do not know, but am hating her everyday, though i still love her. In another thread you said your wife confessed to you that she slept with dozens of people, and that she was not a virgin when you two got married. In other words, like a lot of promiscuous people, she gaslighted you. And in that thread, you described behavior that indicated she might've been cheating on you or did in the past. In light of this you should divorce her and never look back. It's nothing to do with ego. Your feelings are hurt and she has lied to you (like all women) in order for you two to get married and have kids. A sham of a marriage. And your kids will be fine. Children especially very young ones, can adjust fairly easily. You do not want to waste your years by staying in a miserable relationship. That will seriously affect your parenting skills and it will only cause more drama, resulting in your kids getting wind of what is going on between the two of you. And having an affair of your own will only make problems worse. If you're overly stressed, kick her out so you can have time to compose yourself. So sorry you're going through this man.
John Michael Kane Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 She is very remorseful, why she told me i do not know, but am hating her everyday, though i still love her. She's not remorseful. She's in damage control mode, and she only told you to relieve her own guilt, not because she thought you deserved to know. She's not sorry for fooling you into marrying her and she's not sorry for cheating on you, and never will. She's been lying to you from day one. Divorce her and find someone better.
findingmeagain Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 she has lied to you (like all women) OMG man pull your head out of your ass!! You seriously have some issues you need to deal with!!! Men and women equally lie, cheat and play the game. What a sexist pig of a comment!! Your wife obviously F#@KED you up something serious!!
John Michael Kane Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 OMG man pull your head out of your ass!! You seriously have some issues you need to deal with!!! Men and women equally lie, cheat and play the game. What a sexist pig of a comment!! Your wife obviously F#@KED you up something serious!! Sorry about your mood swings. And don't forget I'm divorced so she's my ex. I don't know what you're talking about, ma'am. Just stating the truth.
findingmeagain Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) JMK with your arrogant attitude I not surprised your ex wife found it elsewhere!! Can't say I have read another poster on here that projects their own issue onto everyone else like you do. I never lied to my husband...he actually thinks I am too honest...as do most people who know me. And I know a lot of men who can't open their mouths without lies pouring out. It's an individual thing...not gender related at all. Just wanted to add that there was a forum spoken about on tv a while back for 'The Other Woman'....a large majority of single women dating married men. Over 16000 members....thats a hell of a lot of lying, cheating men!! Edited July 3, 2011 by findingmeagain spelling
John Michael Kane Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 JMK with your arrogant attitude I'm not surprised your ex wife found it elsewhere!! And I'm not surprised this is coming from a cheater. Can't say I have read another poster on here that projects their own issue onto everyone else like you do. Yet here you are jumping into a thread spouting off about something that doesn't even relates to OP's story. The only one here who has a problem is you. I never lied to my husband...he actually thinks I am too honest...as do most people who know me. And I know a lot of men who can't open their mouths without lies pouring out. It's an individual thing...not gender related at all. Just wanted to add that there was a forum spoken about on tv a while back for 'The Other Woman'....a large majority of single women dating married men. Over 16000 members....thats a hell of a lot of lying, cheating men!!And that's a lot of lying, cheating women! Just stating the truth.
Author Paperview Posted July 3, 2011 Author Posted July 3, 2011 Thanks for all your responses. I doubt if il stay with her.
spacegirlspiff Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Do not get even by cheating on her. Revenge may be sweet but it may complicate things even further, considering that you have kids.
YellowShark Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Don't "cheat" on her. Then you'll be just like her and she'll have ammunition to hamstring you. It's a stupid move. You old marriage is dead. You now have to rebuild a new marriage because your wife completely emptied the "gastank" of trust. You have to decide if she is willing to fix the damage she caused, or if she is unwilling. If she is unwilling to do what is needed to be done then I guess you have to move on with your life without her. If she is an open book and willing to do anything, cut her some slack and see if her actions match her words. I live by the motto, "Once a cheater not always a cheater, twice a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater." Good luck.
What_Next Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) For heavens sake DO NOT cheat out of revenge. I did, it was one of the most hurtful and stupid things I ever did. I regret it every single day, I am ashamed and digusted by it. Right now you are going through anger, and that is normal. My suggestion, get away from her for now and learn to deal with the anger properly. It's admirable that you are concerned about your children, but they will be fine no matter the outcome. Do your best to insulate them from all this. Edited July 4, 2011 by What_Next
John Michael Kane Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Paperview, just ignore JMK, he's like a broken record.How about living with the fact that you cannot control the advice OP receives. If anyone's a broken record it is you. You're a serial cheater and you whine when someone calls you out on it. For heavens sake DO NOT cheat out of revenge. I did, it was one of the most hurtful and stupid things I ever did. I regret it every single day, I am ashamed and digusted by it. You don't regret it because you continued to cheat. Right now you are going through anger, and that is normal. My suggestion, get away from her for now and learn to deal with the anger properly. The anger won't be "dealt" with "properly." He has a right to express it. It's admirable that you are concerned about your children, but they will be fine no matter the outcome. Do your best to insulate them from all this. Agreed.............
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