patronum7 Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) I am so mad and distraught. My boyfriend of 2 years who has been so keen on us getting married-planning out our futures-making freaking outlines of our lives-pointing out kids who could be our hybrids-acting like we were so perfect together and all this shiz...blah blah freaking blah... Today tells me that he has been bored of our relationship even though I introduced him to so many new things and kept it interesting. He said all the things we have done and new things I have brought into his world he is speechless because he would have never lived a life like that. He said he can't explain why but he still felt bored. He said he has been so tempted to cheat on me....said he is not used to long stable relationships. He said this is why people cheat in marriages and that he's ending it before it happens. Said he realized this from like 10 months ago, but couldn't bring himself to tell me and instead decided to fill my mind about our future because he knew it would make me happy and so it would buy him time. He said he knew from the beginning we were not going to last, but wanted me to believe it. He said the only reason I am not bored is because he is my first and that I was so sheltered...I will naturally feel like this is as good as it gets. I hate my life right now. My family blames me for this and they won't stop saying negative things to me and just freaking leave me alone. I am so mad, beacause I feel like I saw the signs, but when I would ask he said everything was perfect. He still loves me...whoopdefreakingdo. So I guess Im boring? Why even be in another relationship if guys will just get bored of me He had all these positive things to say about me...but in the end...Im single. Edited July 3, 2011 by patronum7
Forever Learning Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 ok listen up and listen loud and clear: this dude is a compulsive and pathological liar to have done this complete mindf*ck to you. read EVERYTHING around here about going no contact and all the benefits and rewards of doing so. a d*ouchebag like the one you just described is downright dangerous. you are going to need time to heal from this complete and utter betrayal. he used you, plain and simple. just to kill some time and get laid. so work on realizing that he is a highly dishonest and dysfunctional individual. read all you can around here, maybe read this too: http://www.lisaescott.com/ . it really helped me with a guy who messed with my head similar to the guy you described. ok so let's examine this thing where you think you might be boring. first of all, at this point, why would you believe anything he said? it might as well be opposite day in his world. everything he says is a lie, so that would mean the truth is, you are the most interesting and exciting person in the world! since when was it your job to entertain this nutcase dude anyway? all your job was, was to be YOURSELF. nothing more, nothing less. if he didn't like it, he needed to take his sorry sack of horsesh*t down the road! for real, you are not supposed to be burdened with 'entertaining' your significant other! they can go to the circus, rodeo, monster truck rally, or jello wrestling if they want some entertainment for their sorry ADHD ass. i feel bad for his next victim that he does this mindf*ck to. and yes, there will be a long, long line of them sadly. this dude has problems. don't let his problems be yours. educate yourself, every day read alot around here. soon enough you'll be on the road to recovery and you won't fall for another clown like this again. chin up and hang in there!
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 So I guess Im boring? Why even be in another relationship if guys will just get bored of me He had all these positive things to say about me...but in the end...Im single. It's ok... I'm boring too. and guess what? after my break up I'm single too!!! only I'm a guy and my ex-girlfriend dumped me without a solid reason. One of her reasons, if I remember correctly, was that we were to routine and she got bored. my ex and I dated for 3.5 years and she was also making plans for our future together and everything until she dropped the bomb on me. you feeling like "why bother with another relationship" is normal and it will pass. You're also going to be experiencing A LOT of conflicting emotions along your road of healing. Just stay strong and go No Contact with him.
SelfControl Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Patronum7...In your post you mention that this was your first. I want you toknow that there are all types of men out there and this is just one of them.Another type is called the 'Gentleman'. This type of man would notice and appreciate all you did to make things interesting. To the 'Gentleman' this shows that his girlfriend has taken anextreme interest in him and she is working hard to make him happy. He would let you know by reciprocating. Also, a 'Gentleman' does not lead a woman on. If he is not interested, he breaks it off as soon as possible, out of respect. So, the lesson learned here is that you encountered one type of the many types of men out there. Now you need to go out and encounter others. When you find a 'Gentleman' you'll know it. He'll have manners and class.
Author patronum7 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 ok listen up and listen loud and clear: this dude is a compulsive and pathological liar to have done this complete mindf*ck to you. read EVERYTHING around here about going no contact and all the benefits and rewards of doing so. a d*ouchebag like the one you just described is downright dangerous. you are going to need time to heal from this complete and utter betrayal. he used you, plain and simple. just to kill some time and get laid. so work on realizing that he is a highly dishonest and dysfunctional individual. read all you can around here, maybe read this too: http://www.lisaescott.com/ . it really helped me with a guy who messed with my head similar to the guy you described. ok so let's examine this thing where you think you might be boring. first of all, at this point, why would you believe anything he said? it might as well be opposite day in his world. everything he says is a lie, so that would mean the truth is, you are the most interesting and exciting person in the world! since when was it your job to entertain this nutcase dude anyway? all your job was, was to be YOURSELF. nothing more, nothing less. if he didn't like it, he needed to take his sorry sack of horsesh*t down the road! for real, you are not supposed to be burdened with 'entertaining' your significant other! they can go to the circus, rodeo, monster truck rally, or jello wrestling if they want some entertainment for their sorry ADHD ass. i feel bad for his next victim that he does this mindf*ck to. and yes, there will be a long, long line of them sadly. this dude has problems. don't let his problems be yours. educate yourself, every day read alot around here. soon enough you'll be on the road to recovery and you won't fall for another clown like this again. chin up and hang in there! Reading posts on this site have been very helpful. The link you provided had also been great. I have been doing relatively well. Also reading female domination books, lol. I have been no contact with him and he recently sent me a message saying the only reason he lost interest is because I am fat and that he realized that if we got married I will be the type to let myself go and become obese. I am so furious, I really feel like going into revenge mode...but I know I am better than that and refuseeee to stoop down to his level. I am not overweight. Any weight I have gained would be from eating at his freaking house. I have a personal trainer helping me get ready for a freaking triathlon!! So pissed right now.
Author patronum7 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) Patronum7...In your post you mention that this was your first. I want you toknow that there are all types of men out there and this is just one of them.Another type is called the 'Gentleman'. This type of man would notice and appreciate all you did to make things interesting. To the 'Gentleman' this shows that his girlfriend has taken anextreme interest in him and she is working hard to make him happy. He would let you know by reciprocating. Also, a 'Gentleman' does not lead a woman on. If he is not interested, he breaks it off as soon as possible, out of respect. So, the lesson learned here is that you encountered one type of the many types of men out there. Now you need to go out and encounter others. When you find a 'Gentleman' you'll know it. He'll have manners and class. Within our conversation he said he had pity for me because I was such a novice and that he was doing me a favor. Also, that because he ended it before attempting anything makes him ideal. I hope I meet a gentleman one day. I hate how my first had to be something insane like this. Hopefully I will be able to notice the signs in future relationships. Edited July 4, 2011 by patronum7
nikkinicole36 Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 This guy is seriously some type of pathological sociopath. I am sorry that you had to deal with such an absolutely awful human being. He's despicable beyond words. Nothing this guy has said to you should be considered as a reflection of you. Thank God or whomever you believe in that you no longer had to deal with this man ever again. You have just dogged a crazy bullet. If you can now would be a good time to get yourself into some counseling so you can sort through all of this just to know that you are not at fault here. People like your ex can really sending you over the edge with their insanity.
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