FeelingSmall Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 My b/f was on my computer the other night and he saw LS in my history. He asked me what it was and I told him. I didn't go into details, I just said it was an advice forum among other things. He said he didn't know that I took part in such things. I am a little uneasy that he may join and look for my threads. It's not that he doesn't know about how I feel, or that I haven't communicated to him what I have talked about on here... HOWEVER I don't think he would like it none the less. Do any of you in LTRs share this site with your SO? If not how would it make you feel if they were to find the things you posted? I'm thinking he's going to be looking because it seemed to make him pretty quiet. I don't know why it makes me so uneasy, but it does.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 My b/f was on my computer the other night and he saw LS in my history. He asked me what it was and I told him. I didn't go into details, I just said it was an advice forum among other things. He said he didn't know that I took part in such things. I am a little uneasy that he may join and look for my threads. It's not that he doesn't know about how I feel, or that I haven't communicated to him what I have talked about on here... HOWEVER I don't think he would like it none the less. Do any of you in LTRs share this site with your SO? If not how would it make you feel if they were to find the things you posted? I'm thinking he's going to be looking because it seemed to make him pretty quiet. I don't know why it makes me so uneasy, but it does. It looks like you recently joined and I haven't read your threads, but do you say nasty things about your boyfriend that you wouldn't want him reading? My husband has known that I go on LS since we were dating, he was curious about some of the threads on here so he looked one time but i did not show him my threads. It's possible he has gone on here behind my back but I trust that he would respect my privacy. It wouldn't really matter anyway, most of the issues that I have posted about are things he already knows and that we have already talked about. So it really wouldn't matter I don't think! I would just ask him to respect your privacy, tell him you don't have anything to hide but tell him it's kind of like a diary of your's, that it's something that you don't wish to share with him. If he's trustworthy and cares about you he won't go behind your back.
spacegirlspiff Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 I would never EVER let anyone I know in real life see what I have posted here or elsewhere. I'm a rather private person in real life but online..., I'm very flirtatious and have no problems saying/posting my deepest feelings about things that are going on in my life. I'd be very uncomfortable and feel awkward if anyone I know where to read what I have posted.
Stung Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Hmmm. Well, my husband knows that I post here, and he knows my username. We have discussed a few of the weirder/more interesting threads, sometimes they spin off into great debates. He's admitted that sometimes he's curious, but he has never looked up any of my posts on his own, that I know of, even though he has my permission to do so. He has read a few posts that I have pointed out to him specifically. He chooses to give me my space and I appreciate it. However, I don't really say anything that I wouldn't say TO him...I mainly socialize or dispense advice /enter into debates here, I don't use this forum to vent about my relationship very often, and if I have a problem I bring up here it's only AFTER I have brought it up to him IRL, so it's not like he'd be surprised by anything he read. It would bother me, though, if he didn't have my permission to read my threads and he signed up specifically to try to track me down, particularly if he knew that I regarded this as a venting space or something akin to a diary. That would be an invasion of privacy.
Finch Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 My SO knows I post on here. Often I'll chat with him about a thread I'm replying to, in order to get his opinion. He doesn't know my username, but only because he's never asked. I would have no problem telling him "I post as Finch" if he wanted to know. He's free to come on here himself, see what I post, or to set up his own account and post as well if he likes. He does not seem at all inclined. However, as this is a forum for people seeking advice on issues that are of a personal nature and are often relationship-based I can understand why some would not want their SO to know they post here, or to know their username. If you do not want your boyfriend to read your posts then tell him so. He has a right to log on to any forum and read things, but you also have a right to privacy. He would not expect to be able to call up your therapist and obtain an itemized list of all the things you'd said or discussed. The rub here is that this is the internet and you are posting publicly, which sort of makes the privacy thing null and void.
whichwayisup Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 One thing you might want to do is change your location, make it blank. Don't book mark this site, google it and then make your way here..
Cee Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I initially hid my use on the site from him, but he's seen my history and I mentioned it to him. I told him about a thread I posted about a birth control issue we had in the past. But he's not curious to go looking. I don't post anything that I haven't said to him already. And I keep a lot of details private that he wouldn't like reading about on a public board.
youngskywalker Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Chances are he's already looked around the site and found out who you are. But maybe not. Some people do respect others privacy. My girlfriend left her facebook open on my computer once. I simply closed it out and respected her privacy.
Afishwithabike Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 My husband knows I post here. He's the only one who knows my online name. I tell him about the threads here. He's not interested in the site though he gets some amusement from some of the threads I've talked about. My best friend knows I post here, but she has no clue what my username is and I don't think she would be able to guess based on what I've said so far.
Author FeelingSmall Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Thanks for the input. I was kind of curious, as many of you know, or do yourselves there are a lot of very personal in depth discussions of one's relationship on here. Where I have not said a thing on here that I haven't first discussed with my boyfriend, I know he wouldn't like me talking about this stuff with others, even in a virtual world. I was curious if others felt the same anxiousness as I did when he brought it up.
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