backdraft44 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Here is the situation I am in....... Wife and I were married for 6 years and have a 4 year old together. She had an affair while I was deployed overseas and I found out about it. After getting back stateside, I decided I wanted a divorce. The marriage had its share of arguments and small fights and it seemed like more of a roommate situation rather than a marriage, but the cheating pushed me over the edge. We have been living separately for almost 8 months now and I have our son everyday from 10am until 9pm while my Ex works and then she picks him up so he stays at her house at nights. We also rotate every Fri, Sat & Sun on who gets him for the weekend. Numerous times though on her weekend to have him or nights when she gets off work, she rather go out with friends and party than to spend it with our son, so she takes him to a babysitter! This happens ALOT. She puts her party and personal life ahead of him. What really pisses me off is I am paying over $300 a month in child support to her while I have him most of the time, but in Florida, she gets it because they consider it as to "Overnights" and where the kid sleeps, which is BS! Our son needs a "HOME" and "INTERACTION" time with parents, not to be dropped off at a babysitter while his mother goes and does her own thing. So here is my question.......... Since she doesn't really spend time with him and rather pawn him off on other people when it's her "Weekend" or "Time" to have him, could I get full custody of our son? It's not fair to him to have to go through this and I want him fulltime, but in Florida, this is very tough! Any advice???
John Michael Kane Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Here is the situation I am in....... Wife and I were married for 6 years and have a 4 year old together. She had an affair while I was deployed overseas and I found out about it. After getting back stateside, I decided I wanted a divorce. The marriage had its share of arguments and small fights and it seemed like more of a roommate situation rather than a marriage, but the cheating pushed me over the edge. We have been living separately for almost 8 months now and I have our son everyday from 10am until 9pm while my Ex works and then she picks him up so he stays at her house at nights. We also rotate every Fri, Sat & Sun on who gets him for the weekend. Numerous times though on her weekend to have him or nights when she gets off work, she rather go out with friends and party than to spend it with our son, so she takes him to a babysitter! This happens ALOT. She puts her party and personal life ahead of him. What really pisses me off is I am paying over $300 a month in child support to her while I have him most of the time, but in Florida, she gets it because they consider it as to "Overnights" and where the kid sleeps, which is BS! Our son needs a "HOME" and "INTERACTION" time with parents, not to be dropped off at a babysitter while his mother goes and does her own thing. So here is my question.......... Since she doesn't really spend time with him and rather pawn him off on other people when it's her "Weekend" or "Time" to have him, could I get full custody of our son? It's not fair to him to have to go through this and I want him fulltime, but in Florida, this is very tough! Any advice??? First off, sorry about your situation. I have experience with cheaters and I gotta say, you have a selfish one. I don't know about your chances of getting full custody, since the legal system is so biased towards men, but I would document this if you can and go from there.
BeavisMom62 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 I too am sorry for your situation and feel so bad for your son. And thank you for your service to the USA! (I was a medic in the army in the 80's). I too live in FL and have gotten divorced here years ago when my son was 10. But I didn't have to go through the custody part of it because my ex was living with the chick that he cheated on me with, and she of course, was more important to him than his son so of course I had custody. I don't know how hard it would be for you. You said you have him during the day. May I ask if you work, or do you work nights? Just wondering about the financial aspects because of course the courts will look at that. But from an outsiders standpoint and based on what you say, I sure can't see a problem with you getting custody. I mean, it sure would make sense from a financial standpoint since you have him all the time, but they consider her to be primary just because he sleeps there??? That's just wrong. But as JMK said, make sure to document everything! Where did he sleep? How often did he spend the nights with his Mom? how often witht he sitter? For how long? EVERYTHING. And definitely consult with a lawyer. You can always get a free initial consultation to at least see where you stand. Good luck.
Author backdraft44 Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 Yes I work. I am a Firefighter and work shift work (24hrs on and 48hrs off) so I have him my 2 days in between shifts and when I work and his mom works, he goes to the sitter. It's tough because no matter how crappy a mother she is, the State of FL sides with the mom. I know its BS! Thats the reason I pay child support. No because she deserves it, but because he stay's "Overnight" at her house. So I basically pay her to let him sleep there and then I have him..... It's very frustrating and I wish I could just get him fulltime
BeavisMom62 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Oh, ok, that makes sense, about working I mean. I suppose I should have guessed that based on your screen name! LOL. Definitely consult an attorney backdraft. The state may favor the mother, but it doesn't mean that it does 100% of the time. At least find out your options, etc. Certainly the CS should at least be adjusted or something. Not a legal expert, so I don't know but I would check it out for sure.
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