DreamerGirl27 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 I just flat out don't like anyone. I'm tired of putting my heart out there and getting nothing in return. I've never even been on 1 date with a guy I'm interested in. I'm just gonna live alone the rest of my life. My parents will be happy to know I'm never leaving their house because I'm never moving in with a guy. Unless I move in with a room mate (my friend). I give up on love. Or the hopes of ever finding a guy I'm actually interested in. Guys I like don't like me.
fitgirl Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 you can have love. lose the bigoted views, be reasonable on appearance. i'm 20, players sports all my life and look hot in a bikini. i could have had a hot guy, but i'm head over heels in love with my 31 year old boyfriend whos overweight. why him? he has the best sense of humor, has a good job, and makes me a priority, and the sex is hot to top it off.
oldguy Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 I just flat out don't like anyone. I'm tired of putting my heart out there and getting nothing in return. I've never even been on 1 date with a guy I'm interested in. I'm just gonna live alone the rest of my life. My parents will be happy to know I'm never leaving their house That's every parent dream:lmao:because I'm never moving in with a guy. Unless I move in with a room mate (my friend). I give up on love. Or the hopes of ever finding a guy I'm actually interested in. Guys I like don't like me. I didn't like broccoli but now I think it's pretty good. We change & refine ourselves. I hope your just venting & not really upset:)
shadowofman Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Single is way better anyway. And if you don't like sex, then don't do it. Love yourself and you will find others love you more.
Ross MwcFan Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Why don't you just join Plenty Of Fish and message all of the guys you find attractive on there? Loads will probably message you back just because you're a girl. Just don't get too heavy with the religious stuff in your messages and you should be fine.
Disillusioned Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 I just flat out don't like anyone. I'm tired of putting my heart out there and getting nothing in return. I've never even been on 1 date with a guy I'm interested in. I'm just gonna live alone the rest of my life. My parents will be happy to know I'm never leaving their house because I'm never moving in with a guy. Unless I move in with a room mate (my friend). I give up on love. Or the hopes of ever finding a guy I'm actually interested in. Guys I like don't like me. It took me 25 years to figure out that women don't like me. In fact, they don't like anyone but themselves. But whether women like it or not, the ball is in my court because they don't have anything I need. But me OTOH, I have a house, 2 jobs, a nest egg to retire on, no debt, and no need for sex... so, I'm in a position of strength. Don't believe me? ask anyone who knows me. I don't feel gypped.
buster2209 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Work on yourself for a while. Go to the gym. Take a class in something you are interested in. Read a book about a topic you always wanted to do but never 'had the time'. And yeah, learn to love yourself. Ask yourself why you are attracted to guys who aren't attracted to you and be honest with your answer. And remember, it's 5 o'clock somewhere!
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 Work on yourself for a while. Go to the gym. Take a class in something you are interested in. Read a book about a topic you always wanted to do but never 'had the time'. And yeah, learn to love yourself. Ask yourself why you are attracted to guys who aren't attracted to you and be honest with your answer. And remember, it's 5 o'clock somewhere! doing all of that as we speak and been doing it for awhile. I already answered all of that in another thread with another screen name. I come off as the exact opposite of what I should be with everyone. Religious people think I'm a heathen and less uptight people think I'm a moral filled prude. The problem is, both sides pick on each other and fight and laugh at each other and I hate that. It's like politics. Conservatives picking on liberals and vice versa. Liberals tend to be a lot meaner with their tongues as well...Conservatives are just as bad, but in a "quieter" way and that's almost worse. It's not as in your face. I just hate the "this side, that side". I see it constantly. On important topics. Nobody can have a healthy debate without starting a fight. If someone's NOT comfortable with gays, we laugh and poke fun at them and call them trolls (as you saw happened in my thread). If someone is FOR gays, the religious people get offended and start preaching. Either way, someone is at someone else's throat and I just sit on the fence and agree and disagree with both sides on everything. I have no "side". I don't feel like I have no direction. I feel like I have no "side". I'm accepting of ALL people. Religious or not. And I see both views as having valid and true possibilities. I can see how someone could have strong faith and I can see how science negates that and it's very intelligent. I just feel like life is forcing me to eventually pick a side and I really don't want to. So I tend to argue with my less religious friends and try and point out topics they may not have thought of and I do the same exact thing with my religious friends. I'm always trying to give people the "other" sides perspective. And then I come across as neither. The guy I like, who is more liberal, thinks we have nothing in common. One of my closest girlfriends, who is more conservative, thinks we have nothing in common. It's a never ending cycle. I just refuse to pick a side.
PelicanPete Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 I'm not going to nitpick and argue with the details of your post, but if you don't already have me blocked I actually have some advice You don't need to pick any side, just do what you feel is right and be who you think you are. Trying to represent your personal identity with a faction is never going to be a perfect fit, because there is always going to be little details you don't agree with. Pick and choose what is important to you, and screw the rest. Only time people get angry is if you start attacking their way of viewing life and their beliefs.. In all honesty as long as their way of seeing life isn't hurting anyone and it's making them happy who cares? Even if you do convert them to your point of view you won't be completely satisfied and they won't be happy, they have to choose it on their own. All it reflects is insecurity about what you think, so you're looking for people to validate it. I refer to the saying "if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself" for this situation. No one is ever going to make a perfect fit specifically for you, because they made it with themselves in mind. You don't need anyone else to validate what you believe is right and what makes you happy. The sooner you realize that, the easier life will be.
KR10N Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I just hate the "this side, that side". I see it constantly. On important topics. Nobody can have a healthy debate without starting a fight. If someone's NOT comfortable with... *going off on a tangent while KR10N contemplates eating a banana* ...yadda yaddaBlah, blah, blah... you worry about all the wrong things. I understand there has to be a connection in interests but you're not going to meet someone who is exactly like you. Just accept people for who they are. Ya' know, people.
D-Lish Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I just flat out don't like anyone. I'm tired of putting my heart out there and getting nothing in return. I've never even been on 1 date with a guy I'm interested in. I'm just gonna live alone the rest of my life. My parents will be happy to know I'm never leaving their house because I'm never moving in with a guy. Unless I move in with a room mate (my friend). I give up on love. Or the hopes of ever finding a guy I'm actually interested in. Guys I like don't like me. I thought you were 26, educated and independent?
Ross MwcFan Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I wouldn't say she was educated either, what with thinking gay people either choose their sexuality or they're mentally ill. Dreamergirl, seriously. What about therapy? You and the therapist might be able to work on the issues that you have with guys. Because right now these issues are really limiting you, which is a shame since you're 26. It wouldn't be nice for your problem to carry on into your 30's or 40's. It's kind of a waste.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I'm insulted you people think I'm that unstable that I would need a therapist.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 If you are attractive, DreamerGirl, you already have an advantage. Just wait there, and someone will approach you. If your problem is meeting someone who shares your morals...well, you've got a serious problem there, being that your views are not exactly "standard" for the liberal nation we live in. However, look for conservative, Christian guys. If you meet someone like that, then you'll be set. We don't live in a liberal nation. It's pretty much equally split, with probably more religious people living in it. America was founded by Christians and there are still a ton of conservative Christians running around in this country. Oh and I don't want a Christian guy. I've already stated...I want the bad boy, and I want to be the good girl.
Ross MwcFan Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 It's not ment as an insult, we're just trying to help. People have suggested therapy to me when I've spoke about my problems, and I never found it insulting.
TrueColors Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) I'm insulted you people think I'm that unstable that I would need a therapist. DG, do you remember me posting in your other thread about taking things really personally? This ^^^^ is an example of what I mean. I find it intrigueing why you feel so "insulted" by therapy? I would really like to know why talking to someone objectively about the way you feel offends you? If you can't get your head around the idea, maybe think of it from this point of view: you posting on these boards about your problems is a form of "therapy": you are posting your innermost thoughts and trying to make sense of them. Except we're all free and we're not trained. I don't know what pre-conceived ideas you have of therapy, but it's not as scary as you think. Therapists are trained to listen to you and ask you questions about yourself. They don't sit there and tell you what's wrong with you! And neither am I (or anyone else) referring to things like electro-shock or meds - we're talking about regular 'talking therapy'. Perhaps this is what you are afraid of? Somebody getting to know the real you? Edited July 4, 2011 by TrueColors
TrueColors Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 People have suggested therapy to me when I've spoke about my problems, and I never found it insulting. Ross, did you ever take up the suggestion?
Eddie Edirol Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I give up on love. Or the hopes of ever finding a guy I'm actually interested in. Guys I like don't like me. Giving up on passively using ESP to will guys to like you eh? Since youre in a quitting mood today, whats the chances you'll give up on posting impulsively on this board?
spiderowl Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I don't know you, Dreamergirl, but just wanted to say that a therapist is a brilliant idea. It does not mean you are unstable, crazy or anything else - it means you are a person who has reached a point in their life where they want more insight into what is happening to them. If you saw a person-centred counsellor or therapist, they could be enormously helpful. They could help you to see the real you, what really matters to you and what you've learned, and to focus on the insights you've gained into all sorts of things and where that could take you in future. Believe me, time spent with a good counsellor is time well spent and an unique experience. If you don't come out of the sessions feeling hopeful and enlightened, I'd be very surprised. Just make sure you choose a reputable therapist with the proper accreditation and membership of a professional body. Universities often have counselling services and, even if you are not a student at a uni., they would be happy to suggest places where you can find counsellors of a similar standard to their own.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 It's insulting, because I don't have serious enough problems in the way I go about choosing the guys I like to need to see a therapist, or even need the suggestion of seeing a therapist. I'm fairly normal in the way I like or don't like guys.
TrueColors Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 It's insulting, because I don't have serious enough problems in the way I go about choosing the guys I like to need to see a therapist, or even need the suggestion of seeing a therapist. I'm fairly normal in the way I like or don't like guys. DG, I think yours is more than simply a case of "girl likes boy; boy doesn't like girl (in that way)" Leaving relationships with the opposite sex out of the equation, your other thread has you questioning why you tend to act one way in front of your Christian friends and another way in front of your more liberal friends (and those of us on LS). Why not just be yourself without being concerned what everyone thinks of you? Have you found an answer for that yet? Unfortunately a lot of people who are "anti-therapy" tend to have this attitude. I've come across it with some of my own friends. There's still this stigma attached to talking to a "professional" about your thoughts and feelings. I think a lot of it has to do with pride, thinking it's a sign of "weakness" and "vulnerability" to admit that you aren't getting far in that which you seek. Ironically, those that tend to do this are usually the ones who can benefit the most. But DG, if YOU can't help yourself, who else can (and will)?
Ross MwcFan Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Ross, did you ever take up the suggestion? Yes, I had CBT therapy. After this though I have asked for threapy quite a few times, but I'm always told there is no point and I just need to work on my life, so that is what I'm trying to do right now.
TrueColors Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Yes, I had CBT therapy. After this though I have asked for threapy quite a few times, but I'm always told there is no point and I just need to work on my life, so that is what I'm trying to do right now. Good for you!
Ross MwcFan Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Thanks. I've made a journal on the self improvement forum, so you'll be able to see my progress on there.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Posted July 5, 2011 DG, I think yours is more than simply a case of "girl likes boy; boy doesn't like girl (in that way)" Leaving relationships with the opposite sex out of the equation, your other thread has you questioning why you tend to act one way in front of your Christian friends and another way in front of your more liberal friends (and those of us on LS). Why not just be yourself without being concerned what everyone thinks of you? Have you found an answer for that yet? Unfortunately a lot of people who are "anti-therapy" tend to have this attitude. I've come across it with some of my own friends. There's still this stigma attached to talking to a "professional" about your thoughts and feelings. I think a lot of it has to do with pride, thinking it's a sign of "weakness" and "vulnerability" to admit that you aren't getting far in that which you seek. Ironically, those that tend to do this are usually the ones who can benefit the most. But DG, if YOU can't help yourself, who else can (and will)? I don't need help. I'm on here to complain. I'm perfectly happy with myself and the way I am. People don't misunderstand me because of me. They misunderstand me because of themselves. I can only explain so much and I'm really hard to understand. I sound contradictory, but I'm really not. I'm just complicated and a simple mind cannot understand me very well. I need a genius to understand me. It's not my fault my Christian friends are too strict one way and my liberal friends are too strict the other way. I fall right smack in the middle of both conservative and liberal, religious and non-religious. I am happy with it, though. So, what problems do I need a therapist to work on with me? I don't have any problems that are that severe. and the guy that I like...he'll like me. Someday. It's inevitable. If he doesn't already. I'm smart enough to know that men don't stick around girls they don't like. Thanks for the crappy advice everyone, though.
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