Author Natalie333 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 I am a real believer that we met for a reason. He had not touched this case for seven years - it was someone else's. He lives 1.5 hours away. It was instant chemistry and he told me he felt he was finally ready. He was good for about two months when he started to withdraw. It came on suddenly and he never came out of it until I confronted him. He told me he has so many issues and needs to sort thru them. He noes he needs to move past this but he needs a break to do that.
buster2209 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Your going to drive yourself nuts with this one..... lol He didn't withdraw from you to be with someone else, he withdrew to be with himself. Think of it as a circle and he is the epicentre. The things closest to the epicentre need sorting out before he can increase the circle and take on new stuff. Whilst the stuff closest to the epicentre is messed up, he can't increase it as it makes the circle unstable and then everything crumbles, hence the pulling back. The guy is in survival mode where everything is about him. It's selfish in a way but he needs that time to fix his head. I'm where he is right now so it's easy for me to understand his mindset. Hell, the only reason I am on this forum and posting away is because it's helping me rebuild my circle so I can let other people in!
Author Natalie333 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Posted July 4, 2011 Wow! Great analogy. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks!
coolheadal Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 It's time for him to take his turn and be in your shoes. I've stopped calling mine up and now she calls only when she needs something. But frankly I not even bothering to help her again.
2.50 a gallon Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) A little self reflection, you don't not need to answer this, just for yourself. What was the cause of the failure of your marriage? The reason I ask this is after having been cheated on I was hyper sensitive with the opposite sex. I hardly let any one get close to begin with, but I was extra careful around divorced women. Even though I felt that I was almost blameless in the break up of my marriage, I sort of felt that in most other marriages that it takes two to tango. Red flags were: I fell out of love with him. We both took each other for granted. I changed. He changed. It was only after we were married a few years I discovered that he wasn't the guy I dated. It turned out that we were so different. I thought that he . . . . Any of these or similar remarks had me running for the door AS I knew that I could never trust them Edited July 4, 2011 by 2.50 a gallon missing last sentence
buster2209 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Wow! Great analogy. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks! Not a problem. I believe people are on this forum to not only be helped but to also help others. Time solves everything.
coolheadal Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 A little self reflection, you don't not need to answer this, just for yourself. What was the cause of the failure of your marriage? The reason I ask this is after having been cheated on I was hyper sensitive with the opposite sex. I hardly let any one get close to begin with, but I was extra careful around divorced women. Even though I felt that I was almost blameless in the break up of my marriage, I sort of felt that in most other marriages that it takes two to tango. Red flags were: I fell out of love with him. We both took each other for granted. I changed. He changed. It was only after we were married a few years I discovered that he wasn't the guy I dated. It turned out that we were so different. I thought that he . . . . Any of these or similar remarks had me running for the door AS I knew that I could never trust them Sounds good I do agree with most of these myself for the wife and me. Of course her ways don't seem to have gone like she had mention. I would add: Prior Lifestyle has resurfaces,,, Age Factor as you get older
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