just_scott Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 HEY really quickly ,your partner [who would now be your recent ex] has dummped you , and has givin no reason , or explination and everytime you talk to them it's a different vage excuse of why.BUT you know it's over someone else and know that theyv'e lied to your face about certain things to cover up teir infidelities . [no matter how long you were together] my case it's 4 yrs. Would you confront the now ex about it ? Maybe it's my ego , maybe it's i don't like someone else thinking they've got one over on me ,maybe it's my pride,or i don't like looking ,or feeling foolish. BUT i know things for certain and have tried sitting down calmly with my ex to no avail,soo now when i see her [and if i have to i'll make sure i just happen to run into her] DO i tell all i know as fact ?
betterdeal Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Me, I'd avoid it. What good will it do me? None. If they want to be deceitful, let them. That's how they wish to deal with the world. All the more reason to build some bridges and get over the loss, the shock, the hurt, and move on to better times. I wouldn't pay it any more attention than it deserves, find a way to forgive and get rid of any grudges because no-one deserves to live in my head rent-free.
Maoky Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 You can confront if you want - you certainly do deserve an explanation and a proper talk after 4 years together. However if it were me, I'd wait a while for feelings to cool down first, and make sure that any discussion wouldn't turn into an underhanded attempt to rebuke their infidelity. Normally I'd just let things be if they cheated on me, since it wouldn't be worth the effort in talking to a liar. But you were together for 4 years! The least she could do is sit down and talk about it sensibly.
geegirl Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 All she's done is evade you and give you all types of reasons except for the truth so why would you still expect an honest answer from her now? You're trying to force it out of her. If she is not prepared to tell you or can't find an honest bone in her body to be upfront with you, why are you beating a dead horse? If you know the truth, let it propel you forward and away from someone who would treat you this way. Stop trying to squeeze blood from stone. Stop placing expectations on other people. You expect the truth and honesty and you feel entitled since you invested all that time in her. She does not feel the same way you do. Don't expect others to feel or act the way you would want them to. If they can't, they won't.
Mack05 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 (edited) All she's done is evade you and give you all types of reasons except for the truth so why would you still expect an honest answer from her now? You're trying to force it out of her. If she is not prepared to tell you or can't find an honest bone in her body to be upfront with you, why are you beating a dead horse? If you know the truth, let it propel you forward and away from someone who would treat you this way. Stop trying to squeeze blood from stone. Stop placing expectations on other people. You expect the truth and honesty and you feel entitled since you invested all that time in her. She does not feel the same way you do. Don't expect others to feel or act the way you would want them to. If they can't, they won't. Plus 1...Sometimes you just have to accept you are just not going to the answers no matter how much you feel you deserve them. Edited July 2, 2011 by Mack05
buster2209 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Personally, I'd let it go. If someone is lying to you then they don't respect you. If they don't respect you then they I'd tell 'em to go *** themself.
BeavisMom62 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Homebrew! That was awesome. And really very true. Good job. Just scott - I can totally understand the feeling of not wanting someone to get over on you. If there is anything that I can't stand its being made a fool of. I just went through this with my STBX, but at that point, I was already over him with plans to leave, so it didn't really matter all that much. But I know what you mean. I've told him a thousand times, DON'T cheat on me, ever. IF you want to be with someone else, just go. I won't stop you. I refuse to feel like a fool and fight for someone who doesn't want me. I will NEVER fight for a man. EIther you want me or you dont. If not, good bye. But the sneaking around makes you wonder if they get together and laugh at you for how stupid you are. I know. I hate the thought of my guy, sitting next to me, watching TV, thinking of another woman and going "whew! My wife is so dumb! I got away with it again and she doesn't even know" and laughing inside. I HATE that feeling. But let it go, otherwise not only will you feel like a fool, you'll end up looking like one too.
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