Craig2425 Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Cheaters lie! She's lied to you about being with him now it's when she started seeing him? Do you have any kids? If not consider yourself lucky. Listen to what everyone here is telling you. I didn't read all your post but as soon as I heard you say she wanted to move out I knew there was another man. They all say/do the same thing. It's like a cheaters handbook on what to say. Do not and I mean do not contact her anymore. That means text,calls,email unless it has to do with business. If she texts you something nice just ignore her(I'm bad at this because I've been on a roller coaster the past 8 months). I know it's hard I really do but do not talk to her at all. If you feel the need to just come here and vent. Go out and talk / hangout with your friends. This too is also hard. You're gonna be bummed out but make yourself go. You'll have fun and get your mind off things for a bit. Just listen to what these other people are telling you.
sadhubby Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 her text was just to see if she had a little string still attached she might be second guessing her self a little by now. LISTEN TO ME i to took mine back after a 3 month affair . and then again after she said she had to move out on her own and yes it was so she could hump the guy she met playing of all things world of warcraft !!! i carried a big shield around for all the things i felt i had did wrong she told me every day all day. THE CHEATER doesnt want to feel the shame and guilt so they make you feel it!! you have to realize she is the broken one not you. if you get back with her it wil happen again you will chase her happiness wich will never come , she will have no respect for you !! i know the 3rd time mine cleaned out the house sold everything and had the nerve to tell everyone i was the douchbag!! listen bro dont end up like me 11 years wasted.
robf1971 Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 I received a text message from her yesterday saying “Happy Birthday” Please don't reply to any more of her texts
Author THN Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 Yesterday she called me. I wasn't expecting that. She wants us to meet and talk next week. I agreed to that, i'm pretty sure it's about divorce, really don't think she has anything else to say. We managed to have a couple of minutes of friendly talk at the phone. I guess it's OK that we are still able to do that. Of course I had my smile on my face during that short talk. Really don't want her to feel or see me otherwise. The idea that I want to send to her is simple: "I'm doing great, with or without you. I wanted to feel wonderful besides you, but because you chose otherwise, I will feel great even without you". And I'm going to repeat this to myself until I'm going to feel and believe in it. Don't feel like I have something to prove to her. Only want to prove myself that I can get a hold of my emotions and be calm when I'm going to meet her this week. I guess it's kind of a test. In 9 years we had our ups and downs. Now that I think of it, a lot more ups... but I guess we weren't bulletproof and sometimes it takes only one bullet to put you down... Yeah, I want to remember only the good and wonderful moments we had together - sure were plenty of those... I know where I went wrong and assume responsibility for my part (and not the feeling of guilt - I don't feel guilty for anything - I always tried to love and make her happy the best way I knew and it was full commitment from me, all the time). The saddest part for me it's that feeling that it could have been different. But I guess it takes two to think that way to really be something different...
Miky Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 THN Altough I am vey much pro Marriage and pro reconciliation I am going to tell you some things that you may not like to hear. You are wasting your time and your life, I know you still have feelings for her, but you keep doing the opposite of what most of the advice that was given for you here suggested you do, you need to understand that she is gone, she is no longer the woman you married, and you are now feeding her emotional needs by making yourself available to her,being nice to her, she will never get back to you like this, she left you to be with another man and you need to make a stand here. If you want any chance to get her back you need to show her that you are not plying this game any more,Man up.... she betrayed you, go talk to a lawyer get the divorce started,Divorce process can be stopped down the line if things change, this may be the only chance to set some reality check on her,once she sees that her actions has consequences she may step out of the fog and realize what she is loosing, serve her papers in your next meeting, get all her things out of the house and send it to her ASAP, Close all you joint bank accounts, cut all finances (excluding her half of the marital assets) if you have any joint credit cards cancel them without notifying her, start taking serious measures to protect yourself, you are enabling her cheating and enabling her behaviour and selfishness by keeping the all the benefits of being married to you when as a matter of fact she stepped on it and on you callously for her own selfish needs. Again if there is any chance for you here is to do completely the opposite of what your heart is telling you, I know it is going to be hard but what you are doing now is being a door mat for her and she is stepping all over you by keeping you as a plan B and stringing you along. You are young, you have plenty of time ahead of you to build successful relationships, why are you compromising ? you need to ask yourself : - do you really believe you can live with her the rest if your life if she returns after cheating on you ? Go see a lawyer ASAP, get the ball rolling, there is nothing like divorce papers to set some reality on a WW, in any of your dealings with her stay business like, no emotions of any kind, exactly like you deal with a stranger, any emotion from your side (be positive or negative) will feed her emotional needs for affirmation or her decision to cheat and leave you, the negative emotions that you display will tell her that she made the right decision to leave you (hence your bad behaviour), positive emotions (being nice) will tell her that she was ok to leave you and ease her guilt for doing that to you. Indifference from your side will be the only emotional reaction in this case that will get to her and you must do that even if you do not really feel it, once papers are served go strong and hard NC (No contact) on her this will sever the emotional bonds that she may still feel for you after all these years and once you are completely out of the picture she may start looking for you to fulfill these needs again, it will help you also heal and clear you mind for the the next step. Doing what you are doing today will not work and will lead you no where end even push her further away. Good luck and Stay Strong
andyg99 Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Yesterday she called me. I wasn't expecting that. She wants us to meet and talk next week. I agreed to that, i'm pretty sure it's about divorce, really don't think she has anything else to say. you're "pretty sure"??? you need to know a lot more than that my friend! So since you DON'T know for sure what she wants to talk about let me guess that there is a huge part of you that is HOPING she wants you back and you'll be on edge until you two meet. Don't let her string you along! Find out what this meeting is about NOW. If she won't tell you then hang up. THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!! OWN IT!!!!
Eddie Edirol Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 you're "pretty sure"??? you need to know a lot more than that my friend! So since you DON'T know for sure what she wants to talk about let me guess that there is a huge part of you that is HOPING she wants you back and you'll be on edge until you two meet. Don't let her string you along! Find out what this meeting is about NOW. If she won't tell you then hang up. THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!! OWN IT!!!! You know what, thats so true. Call her and tell her you want to know what this meeting is about, and if she wont tell you, then you know its about divorce, and you can tell her you dont want to meet up about that. If she says "its about us", then you ask her what specifically. Dont let her lure you into a meeting just to drop a bomb on you, youre too busy for that.
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