maddii Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I'm still not sure what state I'm in, I don't think about him as obsessively as I did before, but I still find myself getting upset over it, and thinking 'what if', and 'will he come back', and I still feel as if I'm missing an important part of my life.. I think I've done pretty well though, I've accomplished a lot this year, career-wise, and have met a lot of new people, but still no-one that I've connected with as much as we did.. Any advice on how to help rid myself of the 'what ifs' etc without meeting someone else? I feel like the only way it will stop is if I meet someone else, which will help me forget about him.
smudge21 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 What ifs... I hate them (almost as much as I hate the word 'should' - seriously that word must be removed from existance). I have so many of them floating around, and I'm sure everyone else is the same. They're linked to hope - we all still have hope buried deep away that our exs will come back, so as long as we have hope we also focus on what we could've done to change things. There's no easy fix, so quick solution. The what ifs will go eventually, maybe when you meet someone else, but maybe just when that final bit of hope has died off and you no longer want this person back in your life. My biggest what if right now - what if I'd never made that first move and we'd have continuued as friends. I think things would've been easier - as good as it was, it wasn't worth the heart break I've felt. Plus, I've lost someone who was a close friend too. It sucks...
Author maddii Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 Thank you for your reply I'm getting closer to not wanting him back in my life, part of me thinks that it wouldn't have worked anyway, and the way he acted made me like him a lot less, that's for sure, But in terms of making the first move etc, I feel the same as you, although it was him who made the first move, but if he hadn't, we would have still been friends, and I've grown apart/stopped being friends with quite a few people who were once close friends, but he's the only one that's really left me feeling empty, and I never really got closure on the subject either.. which doesn't help with the 'what ifs'.. I'm hoping that they do go away though.
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