EgoJoe Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) I bounced to bargaining for the first time in over a few weeks after sitting mostly in acceptence with anger flaring up. Edited July 1, 2011 by EgoJoe
Author EgoJoe Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 Myself. My Mother wants me to "make myself more attractive" and go try to win her back and I indulged the thought for more than twenty minutes.
poorguy Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I bounced to bargaining for the first time in over a few weeks after sitting mostly in acceptence with anger flaring up. Mom knows best then!!! Im not being sarcastic when I say that!!!! Thats exactly what you should do!!
Author EgoJoe Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 I'm not going to try to win her back. Not for a long time anyways and not if she never initiates contact. My Mom just liked the girl she WAS. She told me to stop saying I didn't want her back just 'cus I was hurting and I was like, "I'm trying to convince myself damnit!" As per Homebrew's advice, she should be trying to get me back. But, it'll be a long time before she's ready to go back to where we were etc. and maybe not with me etc. Also LD and other factors are in place so I just posted so I could get called out for entertaining bargaining for any amount of time. I want to accept that it's over, she doesn't want to be with me, I don't want to be with who she is right now either AND I don't ever want to be treated the way I was again. The last part is something I stated in my angry letter before deactivating my Facebook.
Author EgoJoe Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 She said that she was a "keeper" and that I became unattractive and despite attempting to appear attractive again and hold up a good front (albeit pushy, hopeful, impatient and angry at the last) and breaking down during the break to admit being with another girl when we were in the throws of "honeymoon love" despite not being 100% "commited" probably deeply hurt this girl who was already on her way out despite not wanting to have it be a "forever" scenario hence the self deprecation etc. That I made mistakes too and it will help with my healing anyways. She also tried to set me up with a girl to be a concert escort (lol) at first I said no and then I was going to say fine. But I've gone out on my own since then and joined a MMA gym so I'm not interested in casual rebounding with a setup.
sun_moon Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 I will stick to my opinion, winning her back is a bad idea. Or the attempt I mean. I believe your mom means well, just like most mothers. She doesn't want to see her child in this state of condition: depressed, agonized, hopeless, etc. She will try everything in her power to make you feel better including setting you up. lol CLASSIC. Casually talking to someone and hanging out occasionally doesn't have to mean a rebound, unless you are seeking a relationship. Going out and socializing will do you a world of good.
Author EgoJoe Posted July 2, 2011 Author Posted July 2, 2011 I'm not going to pursue her and if she never contacts me we will never talk again. Homebrew, Sunmoon, Taramaiden and many others are 100% right it'll make me look like a chump after what I said to her last AND make me out to be alot more needy than I was during the breakup. It's easy to tell myself she won't and it helps but I doubt that and then I doubt she will. I think she probably will within a few years. I'm not waiting and even though I told her I didn't want her back. I'd give her a shot because even if it's GIGS etc. I know she probably won't go completely skank mode. Right now it doesn't matter. Helps to vent about it. All of my questions only gave me answers that made no sense or seemed like bull****. I kind of hope I hear from her in a checkup so I can be a bit more gracious (if not blunt) but she's no longer my problem.
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