rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) My boyfriend broke up with me on Wednesday..but later that night he said he couldn't do it, couldn't leave..then he said "I need a few days" its been two days and we haven't contacted each other at all. I don't know if he'll ever talk to me again but I feel like he might. The thing is..the only way for us to contact right now is by phone. My phone bill goes up today and I won't be able to pay for it for another week. I'm panicking because I have a feeling hell text me while my phones off, and I will never know what he said. So my question is..should I contact him to tell him my phone is getting shut off? I don't know what to do. I feel like its way too early to contact him after all I've said already but I don't want to miss his text Edited July 1, 2011 by rsiowb711
hooks76 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 let him know that. So he can email you. That way you can read his emails n still heal. No contact is good, but i believe it has to be taken in stages. Wean yourself surely but quickly. The first days are the worst. Its 3 weeks for me n it hurts like yesterday. If u wanna talk im here. Email me. We r here to help
geegirl Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Since he asked you for a few days to think about it, hopefully he will follow through whether he wants to work on it or end, then I would just send him a short note mentioning that you want him to be aware that your phone will not be working for whatever period of time and if he has anything to say, to use email. Nothing more.
Author rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 What if texting him too soon pushes him further away? I want to give him his space but I need to tell him. Do you have any ideas on what I should say? because I have no idea what to say..
geegirl Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 You're not texting him for an answer but just telling him that if he wants to communicate with you, he has to do it by email as your phone won't be working for a week. That's all. I really don't want you to break NC but you did give him the option to think about it and let you know.
Author rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 well I texted him, just short and simple. It made me feel worse though because I know hell read it and then put his phone right back down. I have a feeling we won't ever talk again. Which isn't fair to me because he said he couldn't do it, that he just needed a bit of time and now has me waiting, hoping to hear back from him.
JasonRules Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 well I texted him, just short and simple. It made me feel worse though because I know hell read it and then put his phone right back down. I have a feeling we won't ever talk again. Which isn't fair to me because he said he couldn't do it, that he just needed a bit of time and now has me waiting, hoping to hear back from him. He needed a bit of time to do what exactly? Eat? Go to the bathroom for a no. 2? Sleep? These are all BS excuses. If two people LOVE AND CARE for each other they don't need "breaks" or "time" or "space". Life is full of ups and downs, but deciding to go through these TOGETHER as a TEAM with one another is what binds us and makes our relationships stronger. Personally, I would just give up. If your ex-boyfriend cannot see the value in you, then what are you fighting for? It's as though you're expecting a blind man to drive.
geegirl Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) This is why I didn't want you to break NC. You left the door open and the ball in his court and a very vague time frame. Never ever put yourself in a position where you're sitting and waiting for someone else to determine your fate. You needed to get a message across and that you did. Whether you sent it or not, you would have been sitting and waiting and hoping because you gave him the choice to give you an answer. Your gut is telling you something. Maybe you need to start the process of coming to terms with this. If he comes back with wanting to work on it, great. But for now, try not to hold your breath and try process what your instincts are telling you. ps: If someone has to think long and hard about whether they want to be with you or not, how does that sit with you? Edited July 1, 2011 by geegirl
Author rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 That's exactly how I feel, Jason. And he's said that's how he feels too before..which is why I'm so confused that he'd do this now. @geegirl, I feel so stupid for texting him. so so so stupid. I even texted twice, correcting a typo from the first text. what the hell is wrong with me!? I don't know. This sucks.
geegirl Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 @geegirl, I feel so stupid for texting him. so so so stupid. I even texted twice, correcting a typo from the first text. what the hell is wrong with me!? I don't know. This sucks. It's not the end of the world. It would have been one thing if he said never ever contact him again and you went ahead and contacted him. You both decided that he will give you an answer in a few days and you were just telling him how to communicate with you. Ok, correcting the typo! I'm going to beat you! Sometimes when you're desperate, confused, emotionally driven, you do the craziest things. Don't beat yourself up. If I told you the things I did, you'd see that what you did is nothing compared to the crazies I was going through. The good thing is your phone will be dead for a week. You won't be able to text him. Use this time to get a grip and come to terms with what's happening. I know you will be checking your email for days. Give yourself a couple of days and if you don't hear back, you must move on. You can't put your life on hold for anyone. And if he comes back in a few days wanting to work it out, understand that it is not a guarantee that he won't do this to you again. Don't be so hard on yourself. We stumble but we get back up again.
Author rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 Thank you allso much for your advice. It made me feel a little less sick.. I feel way more content now then I did before. I will definitely take this week as time to heal and think about everything you guys have said. So thank you! and I will most likely be updating, if anything does happen. @Fats, we have a very similar story..I tried PMing you but I have no idea how!
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