rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) This hurts so bad, worse than day one. I feel like I'm going through some kind of horrible withdrawal. All I do is cry and cry. And not much really triggers it, ill just think of him and I can't control the tears, they just pour out. Its only been two days but I can't take this. I haven't eaten, every time I think of food I want to throw up..I don't get any sleep.. I'm constantly waking up at least 4 times an hour, checking my phone to see if he's texted me. I constantly have the urge to text him and pour my heart out again, but that's something I refuse to do. He told me he couldn't leave me, then he says he needs afew days.. well how many days is that? I can't wait forever in this damn agony for an answer that might not even be a good one. this hurt is beyond anything I've ever felt. and I can't stand it. Its every second of the day. There's no break from it. I just want him to call me up and say he's sorry for being so stupid and wantsme back. I'm also so so so mad at him right now. How could he do this? To me, to him, to us. We had something so good. Something not everyone gets and he's throwing it away so damn easily..and over what? stupid fights we've had? apparently. I don't understad why he did this, I never thought in a million years he could do this. This hurts so much and I just want him back. This isn't him. The person I've been with for a year would never do this. He promised. He f***ing promised over and over again that he would never leave. Edited July 1, 2011 by rsiowb711
MandyC18 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Sounds like me about a month ago, except we were together for 7months shooting for a year</3 I went through everything your feeling and still am but its calmed down a tad. He's the last person on my mind when i close my eyes, wake up in the middle of the night, and wake up in the morning. Its going to be really hard, especially, if he starts saying i miss you and you guys hangout or hookup hoping something will make of it.. Be strong even though its so hard, he's always on my mind no matter what but even though i think we have officially started no contact after a great week...i will always have hope he will miss what we had. <3
poorguy Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I'm not being sarcastic, I know you are hurting, but a lot of girls rebound to feel better. It gives them power. I'm not saying it's the healthiest thing to do, but I've seen firsthand how much their attitude toward their ex changes immediately!!!
MandyC18 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 no way...i cant rebound! if he rebounded i would hate him!
RuinedLife Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 This hurts so bad, worse than day one. I feel like I'm going through some kind of horrible withdrawal. All I do is cry and cry. And not much really triggers it, ill just think of him and I can't control the tears, they just pour out. Its only been two days but I can't take this. I haven't eaten, every time I think of food I want to throw up..I don't get any sleep.. I'm constantly waking up at least 4 times an hour, checking my phone to see if he's texted me. I constantly have the urge to text him and pour my heart out again, but that's something I refuse to do. He told me he couldn't leave me, then he says he needs afew days.. well how many days is that? I can't wait forever in this damn agony for an answer that might not even be a good one. this hurt is beyond anything I've ever felt. and I can't stand it. Its every second of the day. There's no break from it. I just want him to call me up and say he's sorry for being so stupid and wantsme back. I'm also so so so mad at him right now. How could he do this? To me, to him, to us. We had something so good. Something not everyone gets and he's throwing it away so damn easily..and over what? stupid fights we've had? apparently. I don't understad why he did this, I never thought in a million years he could do this. This hurts so much and I just want him back. This isn't him. The person I've been with for a year would never do this. He promised. He f***ing promised over and over again that he would never leave. I feel your pain. My ex bf promised me that we'd never break up again too, but we did break up again. Its been over 6 months for me and I still feel a lot of the same pain you're describing. It hurts so bad every day. But try to stay strong. Stay no contact and maintain as much dignity as you can. I sent emails pleading for my ex back and promising him all sorts just to try and keep him by my side but it all fell on deaf ears. So don't make the same mistakes I did! Stay NC! And remember we're all here to support each other on this forum! So post all your pain, all your thoughts here and everyone here will offer all the support they can to help you through this. Remember you are not alone! Millions of people suffer through break up pains every day but you can survive this! *Hugs* Don't give up!
geegirl Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 You are going through withdrawals. It's like a drug addiction. You've had this person in your life and now he's not there anymore. Like an addict wanting a fix, that's what you're feeling right now. You are grieving, like grieving the loss or demise of this person from your life. It is what all of us go through. The only way to get over this stage is to go through it. I know it doesn't help but there is no other way around it. It is going to get worse before it gets better and your second day is going to hurt, so is the third and fourth and as you go along, the intensity will subside. The hurt will be there and so will the pain but it will be tolerable. I promise you. And in time, you'll be able to cope and soon enough they will always be in the back of your mind but you will be slowly moving on with life and finally realizing that the worse has passed. If you can't eat, you must hydrate yourself. Drink a lot of liquids. I could not eat for a week. I lost 15 lbs in a week. But after week one, I woke up one evening and was hungry and wanted a juicy burger. It's a process. Grieving is a process. Surround yourself with friends and family. Don't stay alone. Try to eat little pieces of something, anything. Even if it makes you want to throw up, just shove it down. While you are breaking down emotionally, you must at least take care of yourself physically. Please don't make contact. You will repeat the cycle of pain. Two steps forward, three steps back. You know, when you get into a relationship with someone, it's never a contract that binds the two of you for life. It's never a guarantee that it will end happily ever after. Feelings can change in time. A partner's wants and needs evolve as you move on. There's no more compatibility. So many things can change what once was the perfect relationship. You may feel all these good things about the R. You may want to fight and revive what once was. You know deep down in your heart that it will work out if you both tried enough. These are your feelings. We want them to feel the same way but sadly we can't. We have no control over how they feel and what they want for themselves. Making a promise that he will never leave is a promise that you can never hope to believe is real, even in your future relationships. No one will ever know what can happen in the future. It's not realistic. He may have truly meant that when he said that. But you can't hold him to it. I've been promised marriage, growing old together, having a family, etc. but it never materialized. We all have been promised in some way. But things change overtime, and seeing that we will never know what the future will bring, promises such as those are never guarantees that it will actually work out that way.
Author rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 yeah I couldn't rebound..I just can't. I don't even want to be around any other males besides my family right now. and if he rebounded, id be hurt 10 times worse. just imagining him with another girl breaks my heart all over again. I know if this is really over, he will eventually be with someone else and that's what hurts the most.
RuinedLife Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Listen to geegirl!! She's helped me a lot throughout my break up grieving process. She knows what she's talking about. You need to look after yourself now. I know its hard, believe me I know, but you can get through this. We're all here to support you. *Hugs*
MandyC18 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 if they loved us once, they can love us again...we just need to give them the space and time to miss us. It's seriously the hardest thing to do..but we make ourselves stronger by doing this. We all cope in different ways, when im surrounded by friends im okay but when im alone i cry and listen to songs and go on his facebook page etc. But like a post above me said..we are going through it. Even though some may doubt the whole "oh i know we will get back together" there a difference between thinking it and feeling it in your heart. I feel it in mine and know everything will work out..maybe not right now in this moment, but our flames will rise and burn for each other again.
Author rsiowb711 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 Thank you all so much, it feels better knowing I'm not alone in this. I will definitely be coming back to my posts and reading all the advice when I'm at my lowest to help get through this, that's for sure. but I do have another question.. he said he needed a few days to think about things..its already been two days..I can't pay for my phone bill this week , so its going off soon until next Friday..I'm worried hell text me while my phones off, so do you think I should just message him, when it does shut off, just to warn him? I don't even know if hell text me, but I don't want to think if he did, I lnever got it..
geegirl Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 (edited) if they loved us once, they can love us again...QUOTE] There would never be break ups and dumpees moving on to different partners and relationships through their lifetime if that were the case. It may happen in some situations but it's not a rule that anyone should sit around and live by. The reality is that while some can work it through and find each other again, most times, feelings have changed and it is the end. Edited July 1, 2011 by geegirl
MandyC18 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 your right thats not always the case but it is possible <3 hope never seems to leave me but thats okay it doesnt have too, and im not saying im giving up forever...im just puttin it on pause
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