GreenPolicy Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 So I’ve been seeing/talking to this girl. Two dates so far. I like her, but I want to take things slow. I've been single 8.5 months, done some casual dating, but it's only really been in the last month or so that I've felt normal again. Long story short, but my ex blindsided me right as we were about to get formally engaged and it was traumatic. The girl that I'm getting involved with - we haven’t in any way had any sort of talks about being “exclusive,” but she is very smitten with me and I get the vibe that she thinks we are, but we’ve only been on two dates so far. I like her and want to continue to get to know her, but honestly after two dates, the thought of committing to being in a relationship so soon is stressful. She invited me to her family’s July 4th thingie on Sunday and I accepted, but now I'm kind of wishing I hadn't. I think it's too late to back out because she already told her family and friends I was coming and I would be embarassing her to cancel on her now. I feel like before I go I need to tell her how I feel, that I like her and want to keep seeing her and getting to know her, but it’s too soon to label each other bf/gf, as we’re still essentially strangers. She’s cool and I like her, but she texts me every day and she’s already acting like we’re a couple. That’s the only red flag I see so far, that she seems to be “fast forwarding” and I want to definitely take things slow, especially after what happened. Her behavior is otherwise normal. We've fooled around , but she has pretty much said that in the next date or two I can expect sex if I want it.
RedRussian8080 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 She is insecure and lonely and needs anyone not you (since just 2 dates she does not know you) to be with her and give her security of a boyfriend. I would say dump her now before it's too late, 3rd date meeting family is crazy, would you do that?
Author GreenPolicy Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 I'm going to tell her how I feel and if she responds reasonably and maturely, then that bodes well. And if she reacts poorly, then I can pull the rip cord realizing this person is not somebody I should get involved with.
AutumnB Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I'm going to tell her how I feel and if she responds reasonably and maturely, then that bodes well. And if she reacts poorly, then I can pull the rip cord realizing this person is not somebody I should get involved with. I think this is very smart, and respectful of you to be open and honest. She, at least deserves that.
Author GreenPolicy Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 I think this is very smart, and respectful of you to be open and honest. She, at least deserves that. Thanks. She's cool and we have good chemistry, but I don't want there to be any misunderstandings. Things could get ugly.
Author GreenPolicy Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 Okay, because of her work schedule, it will be hard for me to see her face to face before the party on Sunday, so I'm thinking of sending this email. Let me know if you think any revisions need to be made: Hey J****, Hope your Saturday is going good. I was doing some thinking about your family's July 4th celebration. While it sounds like a blast, I've been thinking about it and I think meeting the family so soon is a big step that I'm not sure I'm ready for. That does not mean I don't want to meet your family eventually and vice versa. I'm having a lot of fun and I'm excited about you, but we are still essentially strangers at this point and I don't want to "fast forward" and rush things. In my mind that just means continuing to get to know each other and go on dates with no pressure for awhile, but working toward something exclusive eventually if our chemistry and feelings for each other continue to develop. How does that sound to you? We haven't had any talks at all about agreeing to see each other exclusively, but sometimes I get the vibe that you already consider us "together." If I'm reading too much into things and your mindset, and this is not at all how you feel, then I apologize. I want to keep seeing you and see where this goes, but I'm not quite ready for any boyfriend/girlfriend labels or any exclusive commitments just yet.
Recommended Posts