Clubman35 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Well, I screwed up.... AGAIN. I can't seem to control myself sometimes. Most of you know my story by now (and are no doubt tired of hearing about it, I'm sure). When my wife walked out on my son and I 3 weeks ago and left us broke, with no food or money to pay the bills (and a mortgage $7K past due because she's not been paying) she left her Facebook account open. I had never though of checking because I use my own laptop and her's was in the other room. Well, yesterday I looked. Turns out in a message to one of her girlfriends, that live outta state but will be visiting soon, she told her that she was now 'single'. I was p*ssed and called her straight away. She said it was kind of a joke in response to her friend saying that she was single now too. My wife said that she considers herself 'separated' at this point in time. So, now I'm mad as hell, and she won't talk to me if I'm angry. I told her that I was tired of the games and I was going to file for a divorce (which I don't really intend on doing and therefore probably shouldn't have said). No response from her..... nothing. So now I'm even more angry. I proceeded to visit my bar in my basement and have a few.... mind you, I'm not normally a drinker. From Jan.1 until last night, I've probably had 6 beers, total.... in 6 months. Well, I got hammered on a bottle of Scotch.... which is horrible stuff BTW. Emotions now in overdrive, I thought I'd have a hand at posting something on her Facebook. I said something to the effect of, " Hey, just wanted to let everybody know that while I'm out cheating on my husband, he's at home caring for our 13 year old son..... whom I walked out on 3 weeks ago. In my time away, I've spent a total of 6 hours with him..... I spend more time then that in a single night at the bar being a cheating whore." I thought it was brilliant at the time I posted it, but removed it after only a few minutes. Not thinking it was such a good idea now. I'm just so hurt and confused right now, and sometimes I just want to hurt & embarrass her the way that she has done to my son & I. I don't know if she saw the post, but I'm guessing someone did and informed her of it. Now what should I do? I just can't control myself sometimes......
PegNosePete Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 File for divorce dude. She obviously has no intention of making the marriage work. See a lawyer and change the locks.
reboot Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 File for divorce dude. She obviously has no intention of making the marriage work. See a lawyer and change the locks. This. Even if you still have some hopes for reconciliation, you need to protect yourself and your son NOW. Worry about anything else later.
Yasuandio Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 do not do, say, or write anything when you are drunk! If necessary, put parental controls on your phone. This really helped me when I had too much wine and used his voice mail for therapy. I always regretted it, every single time. I just cannot handle wine anymore. It does no take much to get me wasted since my weight loss. Just stay clean. Stay away from things that hurt you like her Facebook. Practice this for now. Perhaps see the doctor for anxiety, and some medication to help cope thru these initial shoke phases.
Surfer203 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Maybe you shouldn't have posted that.. but I think it is kind of awesome.
TroyNJ Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Your story is close to mine....I got into her facebook and posted about her cheating. I did it because she told mutual friends a very different story so I simply set the story straight! To be honest I enjoyed every second of it, I did such a good job Mrs Slut no longer has a facebook page.
Surfer203 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I am all for taking the high road but man.. when the opportunity presents itself it has gotta be tough not to do it. I took the high road with my wife, kept it quiet and did not embarrass her even though she deserved it. If I am wronged by her again I am not so sure that I will be so kind this time around.
TroyNJ Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I hear u bro however when she called my 75 year old mother and told her I was a rotten husband for 15 years, that was the final straw...My mother knew different so that set it off
Steen719 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Maybe you shouldn't have posted that.. but I think it is kind of awesome. I do agree!
Author Clubman35 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 Thanks, everybody..... I think. Man, you guys weren't supposed to support me on this. You're all a terrible influence.
Steen719 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Thanks, everybody..... I think. Man, you guys weren't supposed to support me on this. You're all a terrible influence. Us and the scotch!!!!
Mz. Pixie Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 You have every right to be angry. Every right. She deserved it- 100 percent. You did it- it was pretty awesome if I say so myself. Now-whenever you feel the need to strike back at her anymore-remember it and don't do anything else. Not for her sake though. For the sake of this 13 year old child of yours that she just up and left. The child deserves one parent who doesn't have their head up their rectum and that's going to have to be you. It's not fair but life is not fair as you know. The child needs to have one sane parent-and one they can look on with pride. Let that be you. Don't lean on the child-no matter how tempted you may be-and make the child the main point of focus now-not how crappy she has done you. And she has done you crappy, I agree. You just don't have the luxury of wallowing in it anymore because you are all the kid has now. I normally do not jump up and say file for divorce but I have to agree with some of what the others have said, I think you should. Then, I think you need to try to find a way to release some anger that you are holding-such as going to the gym. Do not email it to her or text it to her or voice mail it to her-as that can pop up to haunt you later. Start documenting everything now that has happened. Not in a purposeful way to make her look like crap but more casual- trust me- it will help you in court later if you need it. Kind of like "Took Jr to the dentist today-day three of no call from mom" "Jr cried tonite-mom hasn't been to see him in a week" "Jr and I went to baseball practice and grocery shopping--what a great night" Sure she considers you separated-she's ran off and left. So sad that she had to leave her child to leave the marriage. I have absolutely no respect for that-especially in a mom-zero, nada. Keep posting- I am sorry you're in so much pain.
Steen719 Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 As a mother myself, I have to tell you that I would have gone to the gates of hell to get my son back and I cannot imagine ever leaving him behind. I would not have even wanted to spend one day away from him, so I am with Ms. Pixie on this and I would do anything for him, anything. I can't help but think, though, given the circumstances, your son is with the better parent. My brother got custody of his three boys (long story of mother with alcohol and loser boyfriend) and those three boys are wonderful. All have gone to college, they love, admire and respect their father and they know who was there for them. He never bad-mouthed their mom; kids know who does the work for them. You must concentrate on him and you and let her make her own mistakes. You cannot influence what she is doing now...she is gone. Take care of you and him. Have you considered allowing him a chance to vent to a counselor? I am sure he knows how hard it is for you and may not want to talk to you about the situation. Life stinks sometimes, doesn't it? I'm sorry you hurt. It will get better, really it will.
BlindRage Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 You should have left that on her Facebook. It's pretty funny and true..
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