Typically are men honest?

[Sansa]

This may sound strange but I wondering if typically men are honest about there feelings. I know men or anyone for that matter usually do not tell the truth about cheating. But typically if your husband doesn't love you or want to be with you anymore or has mixed feelings about the relationship will they tell you? If he has feelings for someone else would they tell you or if they fell out of love with you will they tell you? I have tried to communicate these questions to my husband because I am feeling a bit insecure since him telling me he enjoys some space from me. When I ask him he gets angry which I'm not trying to anger him I just need reassurance. He screams yes I love you I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you. He says I'm accrual man if I wanted to be somewhere else then that's where I would be. He says he thinks I'm the one who wants out by convincing myself that he cheated and doesn't want to be with me. He said he does not want to deal with these questions of insecurities from me and that he wants us to move on. I asked him why he gets so angry and wont talk to me about my concerns and he says I don't want to talk about feelings I'm so sick of talking about feelings, let's just live our lives. He says I need to realize that life is not a fairytale and that we are going to get in arguments and I can't make them the end of the world. He says he hates that I always question his love whenever things aren't my way. He use to be so gentle when he communicated with me but now he says he's frustrated with it. He said tonight I'm here for the long haul I'm not going anywhere but he said it very frustrated.

 

A little info about him: he is 39 years old and I feel he is very mature and usually reasonable. I'm 7 years younger then him and to be honest I'm a bit more idealistic. We met and I had a huge feeling he was the man I was going to marry right away without knowing him. He told his mom two weeks after he met me that I was the one. My parents thought I was crazy to think he was going to propose I even thought at times it was crazy that I thought he was going to marry me cause I knew it even before I fell in love with him. He leopard 7 months later and everyone was surprised it was so quick. We were so in love and ready and he had no reservations he leopard completely on his own no ultimatums. Before us he would date many women some wAnted to marry him but he was never that into any of them. Because he was so old when we met I was a little weary about him since he had never lived with a women, never really took any serious steps with a women. I moved in with him and he redecorated his house to fit my comfort and my needs. It was no doubt he loved me he changed his whole bachelor world for me. Or wedding was the highlight of both of our lives. Now 2 years later we have a beautiful baby girl which we planned and one more on the way. It has been a tough year adjusting to parent hood and he is a wonderful father. He cares for her at least as much as I do. When I met him he had no family I have a huge family. Family wasn't as important to him but since then he has stepped up to the plate and become a wonderful father. So there are a lot of things he does right but lately his tone with me and the things he is saying to me is out of character and make me feel insecure. I'm just wondering if I should be worried that he's changed his mind and has bottled up feelings about not loving me or wanting this marriage.

[Eddie Edirol]

How often are you pestering him with your insecurities?

 

Are you aware that you might be more hormonal and troublesome while youre pregnant? Maybe the chemical balances are mixing up your emotions and you dont realize you are making big deals about nothing?

 

BTW if someone doesnt feel it for you anymore, they most likely wont tell you until they are ready to leave.

 

But men dont want to talk about their feelings if they feel like nothings wrong. It sounds like your husband is frustrated because youre pestering him.

 

If you think hes cheating, you wont get the answer from him, you have to catch him in the act.

[scaredandalone1223]

PLEASE PLEASE do not take this the wrong way but I think you should set up an appointment with a counselor to discuss your insecurities. I would say this no matter what but with you having a small child and one on the way with all this eating at you I am very worried that when the baby comes you may have a major case of PPD.

 

Like I've said before I do not know if your husband is cheating or not but from what I can tell really all he has done is told one lie and gets snappy at times. Lying is never right BUT I know of very few married couples who have never lied. Also, did he tell you he had the business dinner beforehand and then didn't discuss it layer and you found out through the receipts? Or did he tell you about the evening when he returned home and gave you a different scenario of what really happened? I ask this because he could have left to go to dinner, did not take his phone, had dinner and then a few associates decided to go have some fun. Happens all the time on business trips & isn't a big deal. He may not have thought anything of it and just failed to mention it. This is different than a lie when he gets home and tells you everything that happened then you find out it was something different. And I can say with 100% certainty if my husband went out with his work colleagues and then I constantly hounded him about cheating that did not occur he would become extremely irritated and yes he would be short with me and my constant nagging about it would make him get snappy.

 

As far as him saying he likes space maybe he didn't mean it the way you took it. Maybe he just means he likes his own space sometimes. MOST people feel this way. Some have hobbies for this, some have time with their friends w/o their spouse for this and yes some have business trips. And if you are still on his case day in and day out he probably likes the peace that comes with not having to hear it.

 

I am worried if you do not find a way to move past this and keep at him he will cheat. Please set up an appt. with a counselor. They can help! In the long run it will be so worth it. Numerous people have told you the same things here but you seem to only be happy when what you think happened is validated. Everything else gets dismissed. If you're doing that here I'm sure it is the same with him. No matter what he says you only really want to believe what you already believe. If you see a counselor they can get to know you personally, take everything into account. Go to a few sessions alone then have your husband come. Please do this before the baby comes in the end it will be worth it.

[Sansa]

Scaredandalobe: thank you for your input. Yes I agree with you I plan on going to see a councilor to sort out how I am feeling. I don't want to experience PPD as I did not have this with my first daughter. My sister had it and it was a horrible experience for her and our entire family. I do need to have some understanding or resolution to the feelings I am having. Thanks for being honest.