LiveInspired Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Hi guys, this is my first post here so hope it's a good experience! Me and my ex girlfriend dated for a year and a half before we broke up, we were deeply in love, and had a lot of fun together, and could see ourselves with each other. Unfortunately, she went away to school 8 hours away, and would come home every 3 weeks. It was tough, and this started after only 5 months of being together, but we knew we wanted to try it out. We got through one year, with a few fights, and it was hard because our first real fights were long distance. I'll cut it short, she broke up with me in September, and I know the reasons why we did, and know how hard it is having a LDR. We had a number of huge fights after the break up, and it sucked being treated bad and treating her bad, when we were so great together. Despite the fights, we would still randomly meet up when she would come home, or talk here and there. In February, she was home for a week and we were talking about working things out, but at the end of the week, we got in another fight and that stopped that from happening. She has been home for summer for almost 2 months, and we hung out and it was fun, and yet again we got in another fight, so stopped talking again. But recently, I apologized to her, and we have reconnected with each other, and hung out a few times, and it was a lot of fun, felt like old times. We ended up having drunken sex on saturday, and she had said a lot of things to me, and even before hooking up, she asked what this makes us? I didn't know how to answer, so I asked her a couple days ago about it. We have both agreed that long distance, isn't really an option for us, so have decided to be friends and maintain a general friendship. My question is, how do I get out of the friend zone? Or, better yet, how can I avoid letting myself get too far in to it? Thanks!
Exit Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Why did you agree to a general friendship if you don't want to end up in the friend zone? Rather than trying to manipulate both sides of this situation, pretending to agree to it, yet wanting to remain "more than a friend to her", it would just be easier to be honest with her, tell her that you don't ever want to just become a friend to her. If you really insist on trying to do both at once, I would just say don't be entirely available, don't be there just to talk to her and make her feel good, otherwise soon enough she'll be calling to tell you about the new guy that she's been seeing and she'll expect you to be happy for her. If long distance isn't an option -- and if you don't want to end up in the friend zone -- you pretty much have to be nothing to her right now.
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