whatwhit Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 So I know I've posted on this before about this topic. Recieved some great feed back from you guys on here. I really do appreciate it! Well, there is another chapter into the story, so to speak. So if you can help me figure out this puzzle on what to do that would be great! For those who don't know the backbone of the story I'll give you a sort rendition of it so that the people who do know about it won't feel like I'm repeating myself. Met this guy online, things went great, started to develop feelings ( I would like to think mutual feelings) but now thats even questionable (I think he just likes to get along with people but who knows), saw each other weekly, and acted like a couple. Then last weekend before he came to see me (prior to the planning he seemed distant-ish but just claimed that he was busy..::chuckle:: yeah I think all of us girl has heard the "I'm busy" excuse enough", and stated to me in a text word for word, "yeah, I plan on coming. But before I do I wanted to tell you something. I honestly can't see myself getting into any kind of relationship right now, I want to keep seeing you and if we work something out later thats cool, but it could be a while, and I don't want to hold you up. I thought I was right when I got on the site and everything, but now I feel like i'm jumping into something . . .i guess i just need to completely get over [my ex girlfriend] (yet his online profile is still up and active). So, he came and saw me this past weekend everything went great...went on a lot of adventures..acted couple-ish..I asked him if he liked me he stated that he did "or he wouldn't of drove all the way to seem me" (lives 2 hours away) etc.... We've been talking since then, mostly me initiating conversation, and he was mentioning how his ex roommate is a girl stated that he hurt her (because she liked him). I threw in that he kind of hurt me with the text I mention above and he was like thats the thing..I can't get close to anyone..I think i am cursed. We continued to talked about more about other topics and I ended the conversation open ended. When I woke up the next morning he texted me this, "Sorry, didn't get to tell you g'night I'm sorry you were hurt when I sent that message but I'm really glad I met you and I love having you as a friend" word for word. After the word connotation "friend" I was just kind of like okay I need to know! So I texted him this "Woah. 3 in the morning text crazy-ness. So, I just have a question cause I think I deserve to know. Do you have any feelings for me what so ever..and wanna do the friend thing til you're over [exgirlfriend]...or no? I didn't hear from him all day...or all night. He didn't respond back til 1am in the morning with a text..he commented on a photo of us..and tried to fb chat me however, I was asleep so I didn't answer.. But he said, "sorry i never texted back i've been really busy (rolls eyes). and i can't answer that right now cause i dont' know. So I guess my question is what should I do. I really like this guy. He has met my family, hes really handsome, and nice. However, I don't want to played. I haven't talked to him or returned his text. So, what should I do from here. Thank you for taking your time in reading this. I know it was kind of long this time! Have a great weekend!
mo mo Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 You should worry less about being played and instead focus more on making yourself seem like the ideal mate for him (if you do really like him). Something that a lot of women I have dealt with don't get: usually everyone has options. The girl may have a window of opportunity that the guy is giving them so they can make an impression on him so he could decide if he is going to pursue. If the girl starts questioning him or putting pressure on him, or just acts like a flake during this window, the guy will move on. It's absurd to expect someone to pursue you exclusively when you haven't had any kind of exclusive talk, or heck, if he doesn't even know you that well. Go into these situations knowing the guy probably has other options. that doesn't mean he is looking to play you, it means he might consider you, but it's up to you to make that lasting impression on him.
Alma Mobley Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 I'm sorry, but I think he's just not that interested. I think he likes having fun with you, but I don't think he sees himself in a relationship with you, now or further down the road. He is definitely keeping his options open, so you should too, just like he told you to. He is at least being honest with you.
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