Will she take me back in the end? I just want one final answer..

[Southofthebay]

Me and my girlfriend had been together for 5 year until my birthday on the 25th of this month. Long story short, there was times were she caught me texting another girl a long time ago. She forgave me and I was good ever since. A week before my birthday Some girl texted me, she saw it but she got the wrong idea. She's convinced that I was trying to get with this girl. But I tell her she got it all wrong. That morning she went nuts, and asked for a break. I told her it was okay and we'll see each other the next week. About 5 days go by with NC until I pick her up for my birthday. Well, that day she crushed me, I cried infront of her and begged her to forgive me that it was a big misunderstanding. We didn't talk for a couple days until I had to return something of hers. When I gave her back her stuff I also gave her a barney doll I won for her at a machine, she took it with her so I assumed that's a good sign. That night I was talking to a girlfriend(just a friend) of mine, I asked her to give me some advice on what I should do to get her back. She told me the best option is to try to get ahold of that chick and ask my girl to talk to her to prove that it was nothing. My ex said it's too late, that if I would have done that the first day it would have been different, but that it was too late now. She said the two times we last spent together she felt very anxious, she didn't like it. I told her that our years of working on our relationship shouldn't be thrown out like this over a misunderstanding. She said, she doesn't believe me or her and why the **** would she bother talking to either one of us about it, and that she's over it, it's too late. She said she doesn't believe me and she knows what she saw. I told her how much I love her, and how this shouldn't end our relationship. I told her what if in a months time we hang out and see where it goes from there. She said that she doesn't know if she'll be able too, she said what if something happens like get with another guy? I asked why is there another guy? in a very soft voice she said no.. I almost feel as if there is a guy behind her helping her through this. All her family hates me now because she told them what I did. And her mom got mad at her because she thought she was back with me again but she was really out with friends. I really want this chick back, but I'm wondering if I should just chill before I start trying to be with another chick or if I should let it go. We've been together for 5 years, we had a rocky relationship at times because she didn't trust me all that much. However, I'm the first man she was ever with, I virginized her. I'm not sure if that can play a part in getting her back at all, but I hope it can. I feel very deeply in love with this girl. Our relationship seemed so pure, she was the first virgin I ever made love too, and I was her first man that she did anything sexual with. I'm not sure if that can fling something back up.

But i'm sure once she has sex with another guy it will be over. I'm going crazy thinking, how the hell is she willing to **** another guy so fast? it doesn't make sense. 5 years and with one stupid misunderstanding she breaks up with me and is over me in a week and a half. She still has me as a friend on face book. I was going to post a song to see if she responds to it. She posted songs yesterday about love, I'm not sure if it was before or after I made my attempt to win her back. I hate it so much because she said if I would have told her to talk to that girl that same day it would have been different. What can I do to get her back if I can? if I can't what can I do to stop feeling like I lost that pure girl that I once planned on marrying. It hurts a lot to think of her having sex with another man, it does because I love her so much and I know that guy just want's to ****. I really want her back. I told her let's give it a month and she said we'll see. I know I probably screwed up by making contact last night and trying to pathetically convince her by actually talking to the girl she thought I was cheating on her with. I know I wrote a lot, but what do you guys think? can it be salvaged in the end? is it too late? Should I post up videos? or post up certain status on my FB? I don't understand why she kept me as a friend! maybe so she can keep looking at my FB or maybe so she can rub it in my face that she's having fun and she's over me.

Her mom plays a big role on how she reacted, she said she's not going to disapoint her mom. So do you guys think I should call her in a months time and see where it goes from there? or should I take it as a loss and let her go? Yesterday I felt so ****ty because I kept telling myself I would never see her again, then when I told myself that I woudln't quit on the love of my life so easily is when I called my friend to give me advice, I'm not sure if it made it better or worst, I'm thinking maybe worst, she sounded so mad.

 

I just want to get her back before she decides to have sex with another guy, I know that's probably something she will do because she wants to get over me fast and all her friends are mainly sluts(well at least the ones she's going out with now). One more important thing, she said I need to get over her and she cares about my feeling and to stop thinking about her, she said if at some point she does get with me, she wont care who i ****ed during this period broken up, so I assume she wants the same to go for her? So should I try to salvage it in the end? should I let it go and when that month comes around just not call? should I persist that it was a big misunderstanding? what can I do to make her want me back? is the fact that I took her V away a possible chance to leave the door open? I've always heard that if you virginize a girl you'll have her for life. Is this true? What should I do about the FaceBook situation? should I act like I'm over her and put post of me having fun and stuff? or should I act all sad like I want her back real bad? I really need help people. I know I ****ed up, I took the break the wrong way, if I would have got her to talk to the other girl the first day everything would have been different, but now she says it's what we HAD not what we have. So give me some advice please. and if it's not advice at least some positive words. EITHER WAY, HELP ME!

 

Thanks people,

 

Eric

Edited June 30, 2011 by Southofthebay

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

Ok first of all... chill out.

 

 

Facebook?... Deactivate your account for a month or so (don't worry, the world still spins without facebook).

 

 

You want to re-attract her? stop being needy, insecure, and desperate. Be the confident, independent guy she fell for in the beginning.

 

 

Go full NC for the month that you specified and then contact her if you still feel the same way towards her, don't look at her facebook during this time either (which should be deactivated anyways).

 

 

Don't get your hopes up that this will work, but it is better than what you have been doing (pushing her away).

[Southofthebay]

Thanks, I'm going to deactivate it and keep low-key, about a week before I hit her up I'm going to activate it again and show signs of confidence and being over her. Hopefully with this she'll come running back, whether I want her back will be answered then. At this point I can say I do, but I can see myself slowly letting go of that innocent chick she used to be. This sucks because this girl gave me her virginity and has my name tattooed on her body. It would just suck that I'll lose a girl that was that down for me. But I'm starting to feel slighty better. Still hurts a lot, and it hurts to think of her getting my name covered up and getting banged by another guy, but I guess that's life, everyone has experiences. She's going to find out that every guy she tries to date will just be in it to **** her. One week and a half and she's over it? yeah right! that girl was up to something! Well one thing that helped me is the blues.. the blues the blues.. I'm going to write a song about this whole situation. But for now, this song has really put me it into perspective.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dMcg7cdtOQ

[MrDrama]

Why are you so obsessed with her virginity? I don't understand your whole concept of that man. She is going to have Sex and honestly even if you do get back together with her, will you be able to be with her if she had sex with someone else? You don't have to de-activate your Facebook but just hide her stuff stop looking at her profile and let things cool down a little bit. Maybe you will realize you don't actually need her. That's the crossroad im at right now as if I should take my ex back or not.

[MrDrama]

And honestly you will be probably getting phone calls sometime soon, you cant just drop someone like that.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

When you do activate your account be sure to yourself that you have the strength to NOT LOOK AT HERS. also when you post with confidence don't make it so confident that it almost rubs into her face how great your life is, she will see through that and know you have a "plan".

 

 

I also really like that song you posted, Here's a few of my favorites that helped with my breakup.

 

 

 

 

 

and a link to my thread of break up songs http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t283227/

[Southofthebay]

I honestly can't take her back after she has had sex with some one else. The reason I want her is because she is literally all mine. If she has sex with some one else then she wont be the girl I fell in love with. I'll just have to move on to a different girl. I just can't live with the fact that she has had sex with someone else and then wants to come back to me. I never had sex with another girl! I might have texted a girl but I neverhad sex with anothergirl!!! I don't think it's right that she is willing to do that so fast? after two months and we give it another try and it doesn't work, then I understand. But this fast? NO! I can't live with that! I can't take her back like that. I think the whole viginity thing stems from the way I was raised. I was always told I would find that girl, the virgin girl to spend my life with. It was her. If she was sex with someone else, it wont be the girl I fell in love with. It's crushing me thinking of her sucking some guy off just like she used to do to me.. **** it hurts so bad.. I thought I was going to be better when I'm alone, I guess it needs more time..

[Southofthebay]

I mean, I'm not even sure if that's what she's doing. She told me she didn't want anyone right now, but at the same time she said to not sit around and wait for her, and what if she finds some one during that time. The only reason she would have said that if is she already has some one in mind. It's killing me thinking that she is already on her way to some guys bed, while I'm thinking about hittng her up a month from now. i'm not plannin on dating chicks, I honestly don't want to.. ****, I felt a lot better earlier when I wasn't buzzed and alone. Now i'm alone, buzzed and writting on this forum at 2 am hoping some one responds with good helpful words. I mean come on, 5 years only man she's ever been with sexualy has my name tattooed on her body could it really be posible that she's with another guy? ****! I know you guys are telling me to chill out. I keep trying to ignore her FB but I looked at it again, all she posted was something about the puppy I gave her couple months back, but that's not anything of an incline for me. Help me out guys, I was feeling confident and good. But now I feel like that girl that I was supposed to keep to myself is in the hands and on the dick of some other guy. It kills me because I can'take her back like that! I can't! I just wouldn't be able too! maybe if I met her that way! but not after she did some dude! after our 5 year relationship! I'm not even thinking about girls and i'm supposably the one that cheated!!!! ****!!! did we mean nothing? as hard as it is, I haven't called her and haven't posted on my FB. I decided that I'm going to leave it activated and leavit alone. I'm strong enough to not look. I hope. But then deep down the reason I don't deactivate is because I'm scared when I do activate I'l be deleted from her page because mine is no longer active. That's bad!!!

 

Look, I know I can get some bad bitches, I can, my friends tell me, "I can see you with a bad bitch". But I don't want that, as typical and casual as she is, I want her because of what we have together, but after she ****s another guy she's not that girl anymore! I feel like telling her that before she does anything stupid! If she does that she'll just be another girl to me, not the same, not pure, not that untouchable queen that only i've had the pleasure to enjoy. If she's not that, then I might as well wait and get me a amazingly hot girl after I finish completing my reconstruction of physeek. I love her personality I do, but I'll always picture her sweet innocent self messing with another man. I can't live with it, I won't let her use me that way.

 

Honestly I feel like chillin, I don't feel like going out ther and ****ing every girl I can, even though I mightget okay results right now, I don't want that.. Damn I ****ed up..

 

So strange how my feelings are up and down. After writting this I feel so much better... I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Her best friend is my brothers girlfriend. So maybe in time, I can tell my brother to low-key ask her if she's already with another guy, or maybe my uncle's wife because she's close to her. I just want to know if it's worth the wait, because if she is already on that route theres no way I would be able to take her back...

 

Thanks for the advice guys, I know I'm back and forth, but you guys know how it is, I'm all half ass acting like I'm getting over but then have these alone times at home(I lived with her and she moved out) and I'm stick with myself and my thoughts which get expressed here now...

 

I appreciate your help guys, I do. I know I sound like a broken record but I just need to vent. What do you guys think? do you guys think she will actually **** guys within two months of breakin up with her Boyfriend of 5 years?

[ilikepeas]

Southofthebay, I understand where you're coming from with the virginity thing. My ex of 4 years and I were both virgins when we had sex, and since then we (at least to my knowledge) are still each other's "only" one. Though I desperately hope that some day I will get back together with my ex, I also share the same sentiment that if he has gone out and had sex with another girl in the period of us being broken up, I don't think I would be able to take him back. So in that respect, don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for feeling that way. It's your right and theyre your feelings.

I can tell you from a girl's perspective that if this girl has her head on straight, she won't go out and have sex with a random guy. I wouldn't worry about it too much, but I also wouldn't overwhelm her with trying to contact her. She probably just needs some time to cool off, and though you are acting to preserve your relationship, you could end up making things worse if you keep pushing her. Just relax and know that if this girl truly loves you, which after 5 years I would bet that she does, she most likely won't go out and throw herself on another guy. It would flood her with memories of you and probably really upset her. Just my thoughts on it. I hope you feel better!

[Southofthebay]

ilikepeas, your post really helped. I mean, I guess if she held on to her virginity ti'll she was 18 and then had me, I would be inclined to believe that she would be too emotional and too fresh out of a relationship to do that. Maybe she implied what she said to get me mad. It just sucks that she told her mom, and she respects her mom a lot and doesn't go against her mothers word. But maybe in a months time she'll be able to come out with me and see if it's worth going against her mom, I don't know how it will happen, but hopefully. I mean she said she was over with and it was too late. and said it was what we had not what we have. But maybe it is possible that in time, if she hasn't done the wrong thing, I'll be able to start a new relationship with her. I'll be more than willing. I do love this girl. I respect her a lot. That's why it would suck that some guy would just use her and then she'll be interested in me after she realizes what guys out there want. I just hope I can win back her heart in time. She said she feels better with out me. But I'm sure she has those nights when her best friend(my brothers girl) is out with him, and so is her sister(her confidant) with her girlfriend(lesbian) and so is her other friends with their boyfriends. She'll be left thinking of me, unless she goes out with her slut friends( i know at least 3 different dudes that has had sex with her main slut friend). I guess I just got to wait for her to chill out. I mean, it's true, as mad as she might be, what we had was something not everyone has. I mean, she's not a slut(at least I hope so), her friends might be, but she's not a slut. I'm just worried that she will do it out of spite just to force herself to not be able to get back with me, like force herself to do it so she puts herself in a position where I wouldn't take her back making her feel that it's too late to ever look back..BTW I wasn't trying to be disrespecful when I mentioned the words "bad bitches" in the post above, It's just how my friends worded it to me.

Edited July 1, 2011 by Southofthebay