j.usa1 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Hello! I'm new to the forums and would like to get some advice from some experienced people! My name is Jake and I'm 20 years old. I grew up in the US almost all my life but have traveled to Argentina every year since I was 16 and have learned Spanish fluently (and I speak with an Argentinian accent! haha). Both my parents were Argentinian. Lately I've been feeling very attracted to only Argentinian girls and have been trying to find some that live near me but it has been impossible. (especially my age). 3 days ago I was at the community gym and started talking to a friend in Argentina on my cell phone, after I hung up the girl running on the treadmill right next to me started asking me from what part of Argentina I was from, etc, etc. and immediately within a few minutes we connected instantly. She told me we had to hang out and eat Argentinian food sometime together. Turns out she is an exchange student studying at a local university and has been in the US for only 4 months and hasn't found any other Argentinian so far and I was the first she's met so far plus she's 20 just like me. She's planning to return to Argentina in 5 more months (since she'll be done with her studies) and I told her that I'm moving to Argentina in 5 months! Turns out we are studying the same thing. Which this sounds like a dream because just a week ago I was telling a close friend how I wish I could meet a nice Argentinian girl my age locally...Very strange that this has happened. Anyways, I invited her over to my house yesterday afternoon so we could enjoy some Argentinian wine. She's living with a family 5 houses down from me. She stayed at my house for 3 hours. This is were the story gets weird....Towards middle/beginning part of our conversation she told me that she has her "boyfriend" from Argentina is studying abroad in Germany right now. I couldn't believe it but for some reason after she mentioned it, she changed the subject very quickly and it felt as if she was starting to flirt with me. She kept making a lot of eye contact with me while started stroking her hair and smiling at me for the rest of the 2 hours. I just have to mention this because on all of the dates and experience that I've had, I've NEVER had a girl stroke her hair, smile and make soo much eye contact with me before. We ended up walking around the local park together just laughing and talking about life back in Argentina. Afterwards, she gave me the typical cultural kiss on the check and hug, and said that she can't wait to hang out with me again and hopes that we can go out for dinner soon. We made plans to go out to a movie and dinner on Tuesday then a small road trip in 2 weeks. I'm completely confused!! This feels like a complete dream to me that I met a "next door neighbor" thats Argentinian, exactly my age, and studying abroad here at my same University as I. I just still can't believe that she brought up about her Argentinian "boyfriend" who's studying aborad in Germany part and its bugging me a lot! I know that she is staying here in the US for still another 5 more months in the US and her BF is in studying in Germany...As for our movie/dinner thing; I'm extremely confused as to what "it is" that where doing, is it a date? Overall, I really like this girl a lot and is an overall 10 on all levels. (Hell she's very beautiful LOL) and I'd really like to see where it goes and if I even got a shot. Any advice from the pros out there?
Excalibur1814 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 There are a load of ways to handle this but to be safe, may I suggest the following: - If you are ok with her already having a boyfriend, then you are ok to see where and if this goes anywhere - If you are not ok with her already having a boyfriend then you have to have it in your mind that she is off limits to you. You could say, "hey, i wonder what your boyfriend would think as you're here with me?" She may push it to the side and state that you're only friends and then you kind of know where you are. Either way, it does all sound good, apart from the boyfriend you never know. Please be aware that if you 'did' or 'do' do anything with her, the question is this: Can you TRUST her with another guy when her present guy couldn't trust her with YOU! Think about it. A fling is a fling but you'll probably want more and may get hurt.
SelfControl Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 Bottom line is...if she has a boyfriend she is off-limits. Show some self-control. Here's what you do...and it's going to be tough...the next time you see her, say, "Look I'm glad you mentioned to me that you had a boyfriend. Here's my cell phone number, contact me when you get rid of him. If I am available, we'll go out." Then you say good bye and go look for another woman who is available. Don't be blinded by the 'perfectness' of the circumstances or your high interest level in her. If she does contact you later, and you are available, that's when you take her to the movies. Going out now will put you in the friend zone, to which there is no escape. You're only chance with this girl is to follow what I say. Besides, you will probably be the first man ever to say this to her, which will only make her that much more curious about calling you when she does get rid of her boyfriend. And, one more thing...think about the other guy. What if you were in his shoes? How would you like it if your GF was at another guys house or went to dinner and the movies with another guy, even if it was as friends? I bet you wouldn't.
2sunny Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 she made a date with you while saying she's in a committed relationship with someone else. she's given you evidence that she the cheating kind of gal. IF you don't want a cheater - don't go out with a cheater. i would recommend telling her why you can't go on the date with her. IF she breaks up with her BF - hen it would be right to make a date - but until then, she has said she is taken.
Joe Normal Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 she made a date with you while saying she's in a committed relationship with someone else. she's given you evidence that she the cheating kind of gal. IF you don't want a cheater - don't go out with a cheater. i would recommend telling her why you can't go on the date with her. IF she breaks up with her BF - hen it would be right to make a date - but until then, she has said she is taken. Great advice. She's a cheater, stay clear unless you want to end up with a cheater for a gf.
Coil Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 mentioning some long distance boyfriend could also be a test / some sort of game imho. But either way she sounds like she is up to no good. Either a liar or cheater. I guess you could be direct with her and communicate with her that the BF thing is an issue. Then she could possibly clarify / move on. I am sure that there are more women in ARGENTINA that you could find later.
FinOuch Posted July 6, 2011 Posted July 6, 2011 If she'll do this to her current boyfriend, then she'll do this to you. REGARDLESS of whether she breaks up with him to date you or not. It's cheating behavior. This is probably her personality, and it will follow her into any relationship she goes into. Have fun with that!
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