wreckedhero Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Is it possible someone who doesnt love you at this moment in time will eventually realise they wanted you all along. Just completed 3 days no contact.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Yeah it's possible, but quite rare. try not to think of the grand scheme of things like a romance movie/novel though. the directors like to play with human nature when they make these movies because we all love redemption. But this is real life and not a movie, and the dumper typically doesn't have anything that they need to redeem themselves for so don't hold yourself back with this hope.
shortee143 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Sadly, life cant be predicted, so hell, who knows what'll happen ever...months, years, from now. But dont hang onto hope...just do you, and whatever happens happens (that's what I tell myself )
smudge21 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 I do know that love builds not from the time we're with a person, but from the time we're away from that person. Those feelings of missing them, wanting to be near them, they all add up and love comes from that. However, when a break up has occured, the dumper has done it for a reason and usually moved on mentally long before they moved on physically. There's no way of saying what will happen so you just have to think maybe it will, maybe it won't - just concentrate on healing yourself. I know it's hard, there right now myself, but you have to realise that no matter what you do, you cannot change the situation. Just carry on staying no contact and see what happens... you never know what's round the corner.
thelovingkind Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 The easiest thing to remind yourself is that the way to make them potentially love you again and the way to move on are the exact same paths. There's not a single difference. There is no "strategy for moving on" versus "strategy for getting them back" to weigh up. You have to stay no contact, focus on yourself, build a great new life for yourself, become the self-motivated, interesting, happy person you really want to be, confront and deal with any personal problems on your part that may have hampered the relationship (passive-aggressiveness, trust issues, etc.), and most important of all, break completely free of any psychological need or dependency on them. Any at all. And it can't just be a mindgame ("I'll play it cool and make them think I don't need them anymore.") You have to just be cool and genuinely not need them anymore. If you want to get them back, you need to be able to re-enter their life some point down the line - months or years - and be able to listen to them talk candidly about their sex and love life and not feel even the slightest pang of jealousy. They'll sense your neediness and opportunism if you do and it'll turn them off straight away. If you want to move on, you need to be able to do the same thing (although if you want to move on and not get them back, you probably won't re-enter their life just to prove it to yourself). Anyway, the key point is that you just don't need to worry about whether or not their feelings will ever come back at this stage. If it happens, it'll only happen because you've psychologically let go. So don't slow yourself from taking the steps you need to take to move on in case they come back - it seems right but it's a logical fallacy.
fiat500 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 I think that unless you were doing all the wrong things after the break up, at some point the people who turn their back on you do have their regrets, but it may likely be that you'll never know it when they do
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