snug.bunny Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 He just texted me: get ready for the night you will never forget. Pack your bikini, an overnight bag and prepare to go missing for 24 hours. I will pick you up tomorrow at 7pm This proves/solves nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 I'm a wimp guys and this kind of sounds exciting Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Oh - can we please not forget...while he's off texting about his doubts (bad man! BAD!) - ES has been here on LS giving us threads upon threads about her doubts. No kidding. This is becoming highly comedic! Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 I'm a wimp guys and this kind of sounds exciting You make it so easy for a guy to screw you over. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 He just texted me: get ready for the night you will never forget. Pack your bikini, an overnight bag and prepare to go missing for 24 hours. I will pick you up tomorrow at 7pm Oh ho ho ho ho hooooo! You're a comedic genius! Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 You make it so easy for a guy to screw you over.Are you just going to take runs at her no matter what she does and which choice she makes? Are you interested in helping her or lynching her? Ever heard of a tricoteuse? These were the women who sat below the guillotine, cackling and knitting while the French royalty were getting beheaded. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 He just texted me: get ready for the night you will never forget. Pack your bikini, an overnight bag and prepare to go missing for 24 hours. I will pick you up tomorrow at 7pm Bikini? Isn't it winter in Australia? Isn't it thunderstorming on your part of the continent right now? Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Are you just going to take runs at her no matter what she does and which choice she makes? Are you interested in helping her or lynching her? Ever heard of a tricoteuse? These were the women who sat below the guillotine, cackling and knitting while the French royalty were getting beheaded. Close - the modern day equivalent: Sitting in front of my laptop, rolling my eyes and clipping my toenails before bed while this head case is getting more nutty by the minute. Please - this girl is a t-shirt. I come to LS to give and get help but she is the one member that's here just for fun. And I wouldn't use the term lynching. That's hardly a comparison. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 You make it so easy for a guy to screw you over. So you admit that he is screwing me over? I thought your take was that I am screwing him over :/ Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 So you admit that he is screwing me over? I thought your take was that I am screwing him over :/ You're screwing each other over. I don't know who will end it over what but I'm sure the guy will screw up (even if unintentionally) in the future and you will use that to launch his ass right on out of the relationship. I admit that I think this guy STILL has serious doubts - who wouldn't after the girl he's with says she wants to dump him. It's impossible for someone to not have doubts with this much drama in a relationship. I think he is lying to you about having doubts. I don't think doubts are all that horrible at this stage but I think he's lying and that could be a bigger issue for you. Honest answer. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Close - the modern day equivalent: Sitting in front of my laptop, rolling my eyes and clipping my toenails before bed while this head case is getting more nutty by the minute. Please - this girl is a t-shirt. I come to LS to give and get help but she is the one member that's here just for fun. And I wouldn't use the term lynching. That's hardly a comparison.If her threads are so disturbing, then it's best to have your say and step back, instead of harassing people who make different choices than you would. All harassment does is to make everything you post, sound like "blah, blah, blah". When that happens, you become part of the problem, not part of the solution. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 If her threads are so disturbing, then it's best to have your say and step back, instead of harassing people who make different choices than you would. All harassment does is to make everything you post, sound like "blah, blah, blah". When that happens, you become part of the problem, not part of the solution. Fine - no more superfluous jabs at ES. It's true that that is not what I came to LS for and it makes me no better. But I'll continue to post serious answers when I have them. I cannot fathom how she functions or how anyone can say "looks like things are getting better ES!" all that makes me think about are those little beta females that hung around the b*tchy prom queen and just seconded everything she said so they would feel popular. Link to post Share on other sites
bittersweet memories Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Close - the modern day equivalent: Sitting in front of my laptop, rolling my eyes and clipping my toenails before bed while this head case is getting more nutty by the minute. Please - this girl is a t-shirt. I come to LS to give and get help but she is the one member that's here just for fun. And I wouldn't use the term lynching. That's hardly a comparison. Put her on ignore and help somebody else. You seem a little obsess with ES. Move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Put her on ignore and help somebody else. You seem a little obsess with ES. Move on.. Please - this entire online community is obsessed with her. She gets more views and replies out of anyone on here. That's not because she's talking reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 People love drama. As evidenced by the attention that ES's dramariffic threads get. I'm sure that a more sensible person's threads would not generate nearly the interest. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Fine - no more superfluous jabs at ES. It's true that that is not what I came to LS for and it makes me no better. But I'll continue to post serious answers when I have them. I cannot fathom how she functions or how anyone can say "looks like things are getting better ES!" all that makes me think about are those little beta females that hung around the b*tchy prom queen and just seconded everything she said so they would feel popular.The bolded sounds good. As for the rest, ES is far from being a bitchy prom queen. She's asking for help and has acknowledged numerous times that she has issues. But carving her up into little pieces because you're frustrated, doesn't do anyone any good, including yourself. You're no dummy for sure. You've got some valid points in your posts, that is when you're being serious and honestly trying to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Are you just going to take runs at her no matter what she does and which choice she makes? Are you interested in helping her or lynching her? There is no "lynching." Some people are going to react when faced with one who behaves with absolute double standards, no accountability, no honesty, boundaries, or respect - and displays it like a true exhibitionist. Narcissism is difficult to empathize with and to sympathize with, though I know that people with these traits might be as miserable as those they enmesh with. Personally, I have a visceral reaction to it. Sooner or later, I'm going to blow. We are not all here to enable each other. Part of this format is for people to react to what others post if they are so moved, like we might in real life. I don't think you need to "shush" or otherwise reprimand those of us who speak out when our buttons are pushed by this prolific poster. If "ES" did not thoroughly enjoy (or, at least feed off of it) all of the crap she stirs up here, she would not be omnipresent on these boards. She is gleefully baiting all of us. She can always count on you to back her up in anything she says or does; why doesn't she just appeal to you through PM's? Because, she's insatiable for attention. And that's why this story is getting more and more outlandish. It almost seems as if it's being written from beneath a bridge. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 There is no "lynching." Some people are going to react when faced with one who behaves with absolute double standards, no accountability, no honesty, boundaries, or respect - and displays it like a true exhibitionist. Narcissism is difficult to empathize with and to sympathize with, though I know that people with these traits might be as miserable as those they enmesh with. Personally, I have a visceral reaction to it. Sooner or later, I'm going to blow. We are not all here to enable each other. Part of this format is for people to react to what others post if they are so moved, like we might in real life. I don't think you need to "shush" or otherwise reprimand those of us who speak out when our buttons are pushed by this prolific poster. If "ES" did not thoroughly enjoy (or, at least feed off of it) all of the crap she stirs up here, she would not be omnipresent on these boards. She is gleefully baiting all of us. She can always count on you to back her up in anything she says or does; why doesn't she just appeal to you through PM's? Because, she's insatiable for attention. And that's why this story is getting more and more outlandish. It almost seems as if it's being written from beneath a bridge.If you sincerely believe that she's a narcissist, then why keep giving her attention? Is her story becoming more outlandish or has her relationship taken the turns that you weren't expecting or predicting? The easiest way to shut down a narcissist is to not give attention. Myself, I was once married to a man who was DIAGNOSED with NPD. ES is polar opposite to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Please. My self-esteem is probably at rock bottom. A narcissist? Do you know why I post? Because I don't trust myself to make the right decision. I don't trust my intuition or my logic. Every now and then, a poster will come along that will make sense. TBF is one of them, there are others. And BTW do you know what I really want to hear? That my bf truly loves me and I should stay with him. TBF isn't exactly telling me that. As for it being too much drama to be real. Guess what? Few months in, when the masks come off the real cracks start to show. We are now into the 5th month. Do you remember that other poster D-lish? Her R ended after almost similar amount of time. He also seemed like the perfect guy but has later on turned out to be a douche. It happens and it happens a lot. Overwhelming majority of relationships fails. Also, I get no pleasure from posting on here. I'm in genuine turmoil. I truly don't even check how many views my threads get. People get off on other's pain. I take no particular offense to it, it's just human nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 If you sincerely believe that she's a narcissist, then why keep giving her attention? Because for my own reasons, my buttons get pushed by all of this. I do need to step away from the ES, though. Is her story becoming more outlandish or has her relationship taken the turns that you weren't expecting or predicting? Have you READ it?! The "story" is not so outlandish. Her histrionic additions of random dramatic flourishes, (just when things were settling down for her - here on LoveShack) however, is. The easiest way to shut down a narcissist is to not give attention. Myself, I was once married to a man who was DIAGNOSED with NPD. ES is polar opposite to him. How do YOU know? She tailors what she posts to get the responses she feels like having at that moment. Just as she acts with boyfriends, at least as she describes it, and probably everyone in real life, too. There is no such thing as "the truth." I am not diagnosing her with NPD. I'm not qualified. I don't think it's even in question that she displays narcissistic traits, and (even though she has low or no self esteem) her egocentricity is absolute. At least, as she depicts herself on LS. Personally, I have a brother with BPD who behaves exactly like this (bigtime destructive disruptor, emotional vampire, will say or do ANYTHING to get the emotional reaction he desires). The stories are so outlandish that if I ever tell them, I doubt they'd be believed. So I have less patience for this than most, though I will say on my behalf that I tried to be supportive. I really did. Regardless, right. I need to stop taking all this bait and "feeding" this. Link to post Share on other sites
GildedLily Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 ^^^I have a BPD brother as well and I totally understand. Therapists caution lay people not to diagnose others but ES really really reminds me of him. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 How am I supposed to trust him when he goes to Europe? Can I turn that round and ask why you can't trust him when he goes to Europe? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Morning all. ES, does you boyfriend look anything like this chap? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Yes, I read a lot of psychology books and I think that I have a lot of BPD traits. I recently got a workbook for BPD and am going to go through some exercises. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Have you read Lost in the Mirror? It's a good BPD book. Link to post Share on other sites
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