rsiowb711 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 My long distance boyfriend broke up with me today. we were together for a year and it was out of no where. just today he told me he's not going anywhere, that he'd never leave but a few hours later he told me it was over. I tried and tried and tried to get him back but he just kept saying goodbye. This was the last thing he said to me: "Just go knowing you're the most beautiful kindest girl I ever met and will ever meet. Good bye. please find happiness get your life together and be the best you can be. Smoke drink party have sex just live your life. I am the bane of your life and I can't do it anymore....good bye, live to be happier then I could ever make you." I told him over and over that he was the best thing to ever happen to me and he made me happier than anyone else ever could. I don't even understand. its like it went from good, to gone within seconds. I've never been more hurt in my entire life. I can't stand knowing he's out there without me, and eventually hell be with someone else. I feel like someones stabbing a knife in my heart over and over and over again. I feel sick and I can't stop crying. I'm sorry this was so long but how can I get over this? I feel like I never will. I feel like ill never stop loving him and I will constantly pray we get back together. what do I do? if you've gone through this, please give me advice. thank you
madjac74 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Everyone who has ever loved has gone through this and the only advice anyone can give you is crap that no one wants to hear when they've had their heart broken like "give it time" or "you'll find someone better". It's true But no one wants to hear that. Really the best advice is to try to stay busy, spend time with friends and family (yes the same people who are going to tell you things you dont really want to hear). It's never going to be easy but being around loved ones does wonders! I went through a very terrible divorce where I lost 30 lbs, didnt sleep for like 5 straight days and was drinking all the time...without family and friends (even her family) I might never have snapped out of it. I hit rock bottom then and know how you feel and that was an almost 10 yr relationship and it was out of nowhere as well! I went on to meet new people and had new better relationships. You will too! And the message he left you sounds like someone who may be dealing with depression. He seems very down on himself. Or maybe he was just drunk at the time. This only happened today so there is always the chance he will come to his senses and miss you and want to talk about things.
Author rsiowb711 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Posted June 30, 2011 Thank you for the advice. That made me feel a little better. He texted me about an hour ago, saying he can't do this..that he can't leave but thenhe said he needed a few days. I texted him back but he hasn't responded. its like he's playing with me. He breaks my heart and then says he can't do it, but then says he needs a few days and now he won't talk when I talk back. I don't know what to do I'm so confused.
madjac74 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 (edited) Well I will tell you my opinion and I hope its wrong but I dated someone like this. She would do these sort of things on a regular basis, telling me I deserved better and that she was no good...even to the point of making suicidal threats. She just needed the attention and drama and of course alcohol was often involved. So I believe he is playing with you and possibly (as was the case with my GF at the time) get you to run to them. It will drain you emotionally and physically but they want that control. Just something for you to consider and I could be wrong but I base these things off personal experience and I have a lot of it. *btw no guy ever tells his girlfriend or anyone he cares about even if he is breaking up with them...to go party, drink and have sex! We assume and hope you will become nuns when the relationship ends Your guy has some kind of issue that he isnt telling you Edited June 30, 2011 by madjac74 extra thought
Author rsiowb711 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Posted June 30, 2011 Your last paragraph made me laugh, lol so thank you for that! but I kind of think that's what he's doing, which really just makes me pissed off. It also makes me feel like crap though because I gave this guy everything and tried to b the best gf I could possibly be and this is what I get., even when he did something wrong I gave him a chance, but he just throws it away so easily like a year together was nothing.
madjac74 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 Glad I could give you a laugh! See you are meeting new awesome people already! haha jk jk ...kinda ~ Remember that when he comes back in a day or two and starts giving you his drama, you are the strong one. He is the weak one who ended things because he is basically feeling sorry for himself.
Author rsiowb711 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Posted June 30, 2011 haha you're right! I wished he didn't send me that text, because now in the back of my mind there's gonna be that little hope he'll still want to be with me but I definitely will remember all of this if he ever tries to talk to me again. thanks again for your advice though, it really did make me feel better.
madjac74 Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 How is your situation? You said you might contact him around the holiday. Just wondering how you are doing Happy independence day!
civibf Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I've been there. Together a year and 3 days before I was to move there for a few months she breaks it off out of the blue. It feels terrible. I had a few weeks of wallowing with bad sleep and minimal eating. The best thing to do is keep busy. I know it sucks because you don't feel like doing anything. It takes a long time to get over. It's been 10 weeks for me, I was finally starting to feel a little better (didn't think of her every second) and then I got a text from her and just seeing her name on the incoming message made all the feelings rush back. It's messed up! To be honest though, the thing that helped me the most was innocent flirting with other women. I don't feel like hooking up or dating anyone right now because I'm not over my ex, but keeping my flirting muscles limber seems to help a little. Good luck!
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